Our favorite places to go on the Web share one underlying characteristic: they consistently alert and direct us to news, opinions, and features we most likely would not stumble upon through our normal web-surfing habits. In that vein, we are forming a weekly ‘Friday Foursome’ of links that is a collection of the most interesting, informative, and fun reads we come across in a given week.

The hope is that we can provide interesting reading material you may or may not find otherwise. Lord knows we can all use a little boost at the end of another work week to get into the clubhouse!

GOLF Magazine’s Cameron Morfit interviewed Gary McCord a few weeks back.

 It’s open, honest, and captivating. McCord is a treasure (Golf.com, 1/13/14).

Whoever Said Golf Was Supposed to Be Fun? by Christian Chensvold

 on the nature of golf (WSJ Opinion, 1/28/14) — log-in now required, unfortunately.

Brooks Koepka has no immediate plans to return stateside.

 Personally, I think Brooks is making a heady move. See the world, play golf, and hopefully earn full Tour status along the way (Yahoo Sport (UK & Ireland) via Reuters, 2/1/14).

SI’s Richard Deitsch always brings the goods in his weekly ‘Media Circus’ column.

 Not necessarily golf related, but chalk full of interesting discussion and links galore. (SI.com, 2/3/14).

Friday Links Foursome (What We're Reading)

Whether consciously or subconsciously, all golfers are influenced by tour pros in some way, shape or form. You know you’ve mimicked a tour player’s pre-shot routine or swing, bought similar attire, or even reacted similarly to a shot, and you probably do it more often than you think.

My friends and I began doing this years ago when we started thinking we were way better than we were. We began intentionally acting as if we were tour pros playing inside the ropes in front of large galleries. What started as a joke morphed into a full fledged side competition and reached the point where we celebrated a well-executed tour mannerism more than a great shot.

Below are some ideas for how you can join in on the fun (ordered by degree of ridiculousness). And remember, throw subtlety out the window when trying any of this stuff. We call it #TourSauce.

You’re a pro now, remember that. You did not “get new clubs this offseason” – rather, you’re “going through an equipment change.” Yes, those 6 year old Mizuno’s you bought at Golf Galaxy count as an equipment change. And don’t forget to throw in some fabricated stat like “I got them bent so my traj is 1.5 degrees lower than last year” or “My ball speed is up 6 miles an hour.”

You haven’t been “taking lessons.” Instead, you’re working with a new swing coach. It doesn’t matter that your lessons cost $25/hour at Ranger Rick’s (they just put in lights this year!). You’re going through some swing changes, and you need to make it clear to everyone that you feel good about where you are in “The Process.” Just remember, all the hours you’ve been putting in with the new “physio” you brought on the team a few months ago are going to start paying dividends soon (nevermind that this new “physio” is just the instructor in your group Cardio Jam class at L.A. Fitness).

This is probably the only tour thing you can do that isn’t completely ridiculous. You may even already do this as part of your routine, but you can absolutely go next level with it. My favorite is the tee shot where the club is twirled away from the body, and the tee is picked out of the ground before the ball has even reached its apex. No need to watch the ball. It really doesn’t even matter if you hit it well – remember, you’re trying to be as arrogant as possible.

You wedge in from 130, knocking it to 12 feet, sprinkling goobie dust on it and making your ProV1x dance just a little bit. Your playing partner acknowledges you with a “Good ball.” Your instinct is to reply with a simple, “Thanks.” Resist the urge – even though you’ve missed six greens in a row, you’re not satisfied – 12 feet is mediocre. Remember, you’re playing in front of a gallery. You just stuffed it to 12 feet. There is a smattering of applause. And while you want to acknowledge the applause, the subtlety of the crowd wave is the key here as you need to convey two things: 1) that you’re not thrilled with the shot 2) that you’re still grateful for their adulation. Basically, you want to find that spot one step above the Tiger crowd wave and one step below the Matt Kuchar smile/Phil Mickelson thumbs-up-fest. This is guaranteed to at least get an eye-roll from your partner, probably to the point that they’re going to stop complimenting your good shots. All for the better. You’ve got the crowd behind you now. The utter silence after you drain your next 15 footer is going to be deafening.

A similar move is to work in the casual tug of the hat after picking your ball up out of the hole, or after a modest approach shot. The key here is not to pull on the cap. Just touch your index finger and thumb to the bill of the hat. Don’t remove the hat under any circumstances. Act like you’ve been there before.

Let’s say you hit an 8-iron to 14 feet on the next hole (you’re really starting to groove your irons, although you hit your first drive OB), and the crowd is getting into it. You really want to convey that the shot was no big deal to you. Suddenly, you feel the urge to tap the area around your divot repeatedly with your club, which does absolutely nothing to fix the divot. Your heart is weeping for the piece of turf you just dug up. However, you can’t completely ignore the crowd. You take your free hand and briefly acknowledge with a wave, NEVER breaking your focus on the divot.

Once you’ve mastered this move you’ll also be able to utilize a similar technique after you hole the 14 foot bogey putt that you’re about to start grinding on. Immediately after you snag your ball out of the hole, tap down your imaginary spike marks as you walk away from the hole, while throwing in a subtle crowd wave. 

 your soft spikes didn’t make a mark on the furry public green that you just bogeyed, but why would that matter?

Sometimes, even a tour pro like yourself hits one off target. Luckily you play on tour, and you’ve got a marshall up ahead to help you spot your ball. You do all you can do make sure he knows which way to look. When Bubba Watson isn’t calling out a cell phone user or berating his caddie, this is typically what he’s doing when he’s pointing left. You’re not going to look for the ball yourself. The marshall is going to find the ball – you’re doing 

 a favor by offering up a directional hint.

You crank a drive, but it’s slightly off line. You’re DISGUSTED. As a tour pro you can easily feel any flaws in your swing prior to impact. You have to let everyone know how displeased you are, so you just throw your club on the follow through. But you really don’t worry about potentially hitting someone with the club – I’ll give you something to remedy any collateral damage in a bit.

After hitting a mediocre iron shot, you’re pissed. I mean it’s still on the green, but for godsake you’re a freaking tour pro. Something had to have gone horribly wrong for that ball to go 10 feet offline (you tell yourself that it’s just a byproduct of where you’re at in “The Process”). It’s time to rehearse your swing until you’ve figured it out. Nevermind that your group is now at the green, and the foursome of ladies behind you is ready to tee off…. you need to figure out what the hell just went wrong.

You’ve hit yet another green in regulation. Big deal. You’re used to this. Time to clean off your ball and drain another birdie. But there’s no chance in hell you’re cleaning the ball yourself. Mark your ball, and toss it to your “caddie” (unsuspecting playing partner) to clean it.

Keep a scorecard in your back pocket. As you get ready to hit a shot, back off and pull it out and act like it’s a yardage book. Act like you’re talking to your caddie, and get REALLY specific. Throw every blade of grass in the air and act as if you’ve never seen wind on a golf course before, and you have no idea what to do. Look high up at the trees, as if that somehow gives you more information about the wind.

If you’re feeling uncomfortable over a shot and need to back off of it, it’s time to blame it on someone else, usually the crowd. This is done best if you can stop your swing halfway through.

This works for after a poor shot as well. Point at the groundskeeper minding his own business a couple of fairways over and act like he’s the camera man that clearly clicked in your backswing.

This is one by far my favorite, and by far the most difficult to pull off. Say you hit a ball out of bounds (someone snapped a picture on your downswing AGAIN). Once you finish belittling the fool that won’t quit capturing Kodak moments, you realize you hit it into someone’s yard and the homeowner happens to be out trimming the hedges. You walk up, feigning genuine concern, and lead with your standard, “Is everyone ok?”. After you’ve played your shot, you take off your glove, walk over to the fan (confused homeowner), sign it, and give it to them and apologize. Throw in a gratuitous “I’m not gonna find this on Ebay next week, 

?” joke in there, as if your John Hancock has some real monetary value.

You just completed your round. Everyone in the clubhouse is dying to know how it went (were they not watching the telecast? Geez). You stroll through the pro shop and the club pro (we’ll call him “Tom”) casually asks you how your round was. This is your cue to go into full interview mode:

“You know, Tommy, course looks great, greens are really stimping right now. I like my chances.”

Or… “All-in-all, felt like we got some good work in today. Left a few shots out there, the one on 13 hurt, but I really flighted the ball well and I’m seeing my lines. This track is so gettable right now, so hopefully I can rest up and post a low number tomorrow.”

Drop a “Thanks Tommy” as you walk away.

 and let us know when you see some #TourSauce. 

How to Act Like a Tour Pro: An NLU Primer

The mandatory 10 year probationary period for Pinehurst #2 comes to an end this June when the U.S. Open returns to the site where Michael Campbell inflicted widespread sadness on the golf community at-large triumphed over Tiger Woods and the rest of the field at the 2005 U.S. Open. In order to rid the historic grounds of the stink that was left behind from this abomination, a restoration was required to wipe the memory of that disastrous weekend. Literally, Bill Coore and Ben Crenshaw were hired to rework every single hole, as is highlighted pretty masterfully 

 Fairways were widened by as much as 50%, offering more strategic options in playing holes from tee to green.





 All rough was eliminated, establishing two heights of grass: greens and everything else.





 26 acres of turf were removed, restoring natural areas of sand, wire grass, pine straw and a variety of native grasses.





 Eliminated during the winter months, allowing for firm, fast conditions throughout the year





 Thirteen new tees were added to the championship course, increasing the total championship length by more than 300 yards, to 7,565 from 7,214.





 Several bunkers were restored, eliminated or reshaped based on aerial images of the course from the 1940s, and bunkers were edged to create rustic appearance





 Only two (15 and 17) were modified slightly to increase hole locations. Changes weren’t necessary, they were already legendary.

The elimination of rough, and the way the fairways flow into the “natural habitat” areas reminds me of the way Alister Mackenzie designed fairways and greens to flow naturally into bunkers, particularly Royal Melbourne. This is the first hole:

has earned some of the highest accolades in the design realm – Bandon, Friar’s Head, Sand Hills, Streamsong are among the best and boldest designs of the last decade or so, but the Pinehurst #2 redesign signifies a bold (and natural) progression as this pair essentially took their shit next-level. Pinehurst is an undisputed national treasure. Hell the place glossed itself the “Home of American Golf.” The history, prestige, and upcoming tourney slate at #2 mean the stakes really couldn’t be higher. Coore & Crenshaw knew they couldn’t afford to mess this up, and what made it more difficult was the fact that this was a restoration of history more than a true design or redesign.

While the diehards all dream about a Bandon trip or somehow getting on at Sand Hills, the masses aren’t really privy to the aesthetics and philosophies in play here. Seeing the US Open (and the US Women’s Open) played here could change the way the masses think of what a golf course should look like, and more important, what they want their golf courses to look like (and wait until 

 next year). In thirty years, we’ll likely look back on this restoration as a seminal moment in the arc of golf design. Hopefully we’ll see people trying to copycat the philosophies in play here, creating a veritable chain reaction: at once breathing life into the game by making similar designs accessible, placing downward pressure on the cost of a round of golf, and maybe even forcing a new premium on creativity and shotmaking (we can dream). Let’s be clear: this is a bonafide golf design 

We’ll dive in a lot deeper into the U.S. Open obviously when the time comes, but for now, take a look at the hole by hole breakdown. It’s hard not to get excited for what really looks to a be a “different” U.S. Open at a historic track, redefined: For more 

First Look at Pinehurst No. 2 Restoration

In case you don’t follow any golf-related people on Twitter, allow me to tell you this week the PGA held its annual merchandise extravaganza down in Florida. Featuring over 1,000 exhibitors crammed into the Orlando Convention Center, it’s a cornucopia of everything and anything you could ever imagine related to the game. Many exhibitors use the show to unveil their latest and greatest products, producing a certain level of buzz around equipment, gizmos, or gadgets.

This year, however, perhaps the biggest buzz was created by Mark King, outspoken TaylorMade CEO, as he publicly outlined company-sponsored initiatives designed to grow interest in the game. As James Achenbach details in his Golfweek.com article, “

King: Bigger Cup, Larger Ball Can Grow Golf

,” the specifics of these initiatives involve enlarging the cup, enlarging the ball, and providing people oversized equipment with which to whack said big balls.

How big does King propose the cup be made? Achenbach notes in his article the plan is for:

“a 15-inch cup. The normal cup is 4.25 inches in diameter, so the 15-inch version tends to look like a wash tub to most players.”

Achenbach describes King’s dystopia idea further saying people would use:

“a new ball and new clubs invented by TaylorMade engineers. The ball is oversized, and so are the clubheads (the set includes only four clubs, one of them a putter).”

Where would people play this version of ‘golf?’ Achenbach writes,

“King said about a dozen courses are poised to immediately install the larger cups. Many more courses, and golf-course management companies, have expressed interest.



The plan at this point is to cut two cups on every green: standard and oversized.”

I would appreciate TaylorMade’s efforts to “grow the game” if I didn’t believe they were just completely transparent attempts to drive sales. I get it, though. King’s the CEO of a public company (subsidiary of a public-company to be exact), and public companies have numbers to meet. But damn, what he’s proposing isn’t golf, it’s a mutant, bastardized version of the grand game. Baseball played with oversized balls and oversized equipment isn’t baseball, it’s freaking softball.

Really, and at the risk of proselytizing like some morally-superior schwaldo, I think this idea only gets past the ‘Horrendous Idea by Overwrought Focus Group’ stage because 

as a society have a heightened need for instant gratification. It’s endemic of the way things are; people have too many distractions, too much rushing around to do. We’re all on the move all the time, if only in our own minds. We don’t have the desire to hone a craft. We don’t have the patience to build requisite skills. We want things distilled down for easier, faster consumption. We want to play golf well without having to struggle to play golf well.

Successful companies are successful for a reason, though. Namely, they market and deliver what people want. So I’m terrified that people actually want this.

 want this and it’s actually going to be a thing, dear God, please don’t bring this freak show to actual courses. Raise up a Big-Top and run this circus far away from golf sanctuaries. The last thing I need is to be grinding over my birdie double-bogey putt and worrying about how I’m going to circumnavigate a f*ing bathtub-sized crater in front of me because some jolly dipshit got snookered by the merry hucksters of ‘Corporate Golf’ to bat around an overstuffed ball with humongous freaking clubs for a few hours and pretend they’re golfing.

Golf is the continual reach for perfection, knowing it’s not attainable, but savoring the winding journey nonetheless. (You bet that’s a life metaphor!). Leave the damn game alone. And get off my damn lawn.

This Guy Has a Terrible Idea

The Farmers Insurance Open is back at Torrey Pines this week, and San Diego fans have been provided with more excitement at their professional tournaments in the last decade or so than perhaps at any other course in the country. Good for San Diego-ans though, because they clearly have it pretty tough out there:

In their defense, they did have to sit through 6 years of Norv Turner, and have a baseball ballpark where hitter’s careers go to die. But once a year the Farmer’s comes around, and there is almost always drama on the finishing hole at Torrey Pines, a true risk/reward par 5 that separates the NLU favorites from the pretenders.

Before we get to the putt heard round the world, there was this from the 3rd round of the 2008 U.S. Open. A winding 30 footer for eagle to take the lead going into Sunday:

 to this crowd. I’ve never heard a crowd sound so loud through the television:

Then of course came Sunday. The Big Cat draining this 12 footer to force a playoff with Rocco Mediate:

(I’m pretty sure Ahmad Rashad has confiscated every possible good clip of this off youtube, and keeps it for himself, watching it nightly before going to bed.)

The shot that almost was. Trailing Bubba Watson by 2 on the 18th on Sunday at the 2011 Farmers, Lefty memorably had Bones tend the flag from 72 yards away.

Have to love the FIGJAM quote from Phil in the video: “I’m trying to fly it in, and if it doesn’t fly in, it’s gonna skip, and I want to try to bring it back in. So when I get a wedge shot at 72 yards, I can usually fly it within a yard 95% of the time.” 95% of the time he can fly it within a yard!? Reminds me of one of my favorite Phil stories (tweet from Colt Knost):

I told Phil one day he’s pretty good with his wedges, he replied “no, I’m really f’ing good with them” #legend #usopen

This is a tough one for us, as NLU favorite Kyle Stanley lost a 3 shot lead on the final hole when his wedge shot that appeared perfect, freakishly backspun into the water (1:00 mark):

Stanley went on to lose in the playoff, yet miraculously redeemed himself a week later at the Waste Management Phoenix Open, coming from 8 shots behind in the final round to notch his first PGA Tour win.

Here’s to hoping that this Sunday we don’t see Stew Cink laying up and two putting to win.

Drama Theater: The 18th at Torrey Pines

The big news coming from Humana was Patrick Reed’s opening trio of 63’s and game of hide-and-go-seek he played with the field. Banking his 2nd career win, as Soly pointed out in the 

, Reed has quietly moved into heady company–he’s one of three guys age-23 or younger with multiple Tour victories (Rory McIlroy and Harris English being the other two).

To be completely honest, even with his breakthrough win at the Wyndham last August, the first (and really only) thing I associated with Patrick Reed was his petite-blonde wife on the bag. Until his torrid start in the desert this week, I had failed to notice Reed is so relatively young, comes from the much-ballyhooed Augusta State collegiate stable, and has a new caddie (he and his wife, Justine, are expecting their first child in a few months). In other words, he is the 

type of under-the-radar, big-game owner the YOTTO Index is designed to parse out. And on that front, not surprisingly, Reed made a huge move up the rankings this week after winning (up 260 spots to #14 with a mark of 89). Assuming his strong play continues, Reed will be house-hunting in the YOTTO neighborhood very shortly. Tell the Mrs. that the schools are great and there are plenty of other young families around.

ZJ and Harris English flip-flopped the second and third spots in the top-5, with #1 (Jimmy Walker), #4 (Chris Kirk) and #5 (Ryan Moore) remaining the same.

Besides Reed, there were a handful of other large jumps this week. Ryan Palmer moved up 234 spots to #27 with his solo 2nd, Stuart Appleby gained 127 spots to #70 with a t-9, and Charley Hoffman also t-9’d moving up 115 spots to #59.

Due to small-sample sizes, the bottom of the board includes names you may recognize like Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, Henrik Stenson, Steve Stricker, Brandt Snedeker, Jim Furyk, and Hunter Mahan. These guys had varying degrees of ‘good’ 2013’s and haven’t played many events thus far in 2013-14. That begins to change this week in San Diego. We’ll see who, if any of them, can get their Emeril on and kick up 2013 results a notch or two this year.

YOTTO Update (Humana)

. The only comment the user left was that his brother-in-law could not afford a Scotty Cameron, so he bought a beat up one and gave it to him for his birthday. You really should check out the step by step pictures that he posted 

Brother-In-Law of the Year - Amazing Scotty Cameron Restoration

The coolest man in golf pulled off a shot that only a guy who wouldn’t even bother to fix his hair for his 

Going for the par 5 in two (naturally), Couples blocks it way right, but for all we know he was trying to do that. He ricochets it off the lava, off the cart path, down to the hole to 8 feet for eagle. And he of course drained the putt.

Fred Couples Ricochets It Off Lava to 8 Feet

Because NLU’s all about the lifelong pursuit of knowledge, if only for knowledge’s sake.

This is one of many economic fundamentals I consistently can never 

 remember. So if only for my own edification, and perhaps maybe any of you who struggle with this distinction, I present the following example in hopes of finally cementing this shit once and for all (hang with me here):

Let’s say a golfer–what the heck, let’s make him a 

. Our proud Masters champion is getting back into the flow of a new PGA Tour season like any other year; playing an early-season, West Coast 

Now this particular tournament happens to occur on some of the easiest tracks this (or any) professional will encounter all year. Our pro promptly struggles, to put it delicately, in his first round, shooting a 

 on a course that will yield a cumulative scoring average about ten shots lower on the week.

Let’s now discuss this performance using our economic terms, ‘real’ and ‘nominal.’

The rough relationship we will want to always remember is 

 amounts (be they interest rates, wages, values, or golf performances) are expressed without accounting for inflationary influences (i.e. inflation rates), whereas 

 amounts are expressed with inflationary effects factored in.

For our example above, the equation we will apply mirrors that used to calculate real vs. nominal wages.

 performance * (1 + [% Change in Difficulty over Base Course])

So to conclude, in our example we would express the Green-jacket winner’s performance, 

, having applied the necessary, significant increase in course difficulty (based on the relative strength of the courses he will encounter the rest of the season), we can best express our pro’s performance as…


Aerial view of LQCC following Immelman’s round

*Note: Actually doing the math here will produce a ‘real’ golf score, in absolute terms, less than 79. We’ve exercised an artistic license a little bit. If we’d been discussing wages, lower would equal ‘worse.’ Obviously golf performance is not oriented in a similar manner.

Economic Lesson of the Day: Real vs. Nominal

In honor of Webb’s first shank of the year, we dug this video up from the top of the search results for best shanks on YouTube. Make sure you have headphones, Feherty and Peter Kostis reacting is worth the price of admission.

We shouldn’t dog Paula Creamer. She was in the bunker. And she’s a sass.

Big Cat’s Shank is the definition of a Hozzle Rocket…FIRE THE LASER! #ProjectVulcan

The best one has to be Mahan. While our boys in the booth (and Rog out on location) are slobbing his ‘consistent ball striking,’ Mahan promptly fouls one into the first base dugout.

Can you say Hozzle Rocket?

Here at NLU, it is our privilege–nay, it is our mission and duty to share scenes like this:

Hey Johnny, Jack doesn’t care about your 63 at the US Open.

Johnny Miller Served by the Golden Bear

It was 1am (PST) on a Friday night in mid-December. The Thai Golf Championship in full swing, the heart of Silly Season highlighted by vistas of Thai rain forest, Sergio’s sassy caddy, Bubba whining about noises in a non-existent gallery (note: speculation), and Big Swede Stenson on auto-pilot escaping another Nordic winter. While Sergio waggled away a field en route to victory, I serendipitously stumbled upon what’s become my 2014 international YOTTO (if unfamiliar – 

Kiradech Aphibarnrat (pronounced Kear-A-Deck App-E-Ban-Raut).

Where did this seven syllable name climbing the leaderboard come from? After the husky 24 year old made back-to-back birdies, I decided to find out and began with the name.

Before turning pro at 21, Anujit Hirunratanakorn (a devout Buddhist) changed his given Thai name to Kiradech Aphibarnrat (Thai meaning: unknown). A mouthful either way, thankfully he goes by two nicknames (that NLU knows of):

Take one look at Arm and ‘Gut’ may sound more appropriate, but there’s no questioning the perfection of ‘The Big Unit.’ Listed at 5’9″ 229 (yea, in his bra), he very well could embody what the Buddha’s golf swing would look like: a long, loose move reminiscent of NLU hall-of-famer John Daly. And based on Carl Spackler’s spot on analysis of the Dalai Lama’s Game below (remember the Lama is the Buddha reincarnate), the comparison seems fair. Anchored by this tremendous gut, Arm proves Sir Isaac right; mass is neither gained nor lost but transferred into 300+ off the tee.


Aphibarnrat’s lack of PGA Tour experience may prevent us from using the traditional index to evaluate his YOTTO potential in the short term, but looking back over his 2013 season shows Arm may be poised to break out. He gutted out a one-stroke win at the European tour stop in Kuala Lumpur showing no fear of legit competition, and he also won twice on the Asian tour. Pairing a 299.98 average driving distance with tasty wedge work reinforces the comparison to JD (and possibly The Lama) almost as much as the heater hanging from his lips!

Despite the small sample size, NLU remains bullish on ‘The Big Unit’s’ YOTTO potential (

). After the Malaysian Open win in the spring, The Big Unit made the jump across the Pacific, making the cut at both Firestone and The PGA Championship (where he finished tied for 25th). He jumped into the top 100 world golf ranking, continued to bank top 10’s on the Asian tour to finish 59th in the OWGR with over $1.9 million in career prize money, and one of 

I don’t work out a lot. I just try to play good golf. You don’t have to have good body for that’ – 

not too shabby for a kid from rural Northern Thailand.

Yes the Thai Golf Championship was in the heart of Silly season. This is to say the competition and the stakes could have been higher, but Arm’s showing in Mid-December sparked my curiosity. His tempo, length, and demeanor remind me of another Husky European star: Lee Westwood (version 1.0). He’s also a two-time world junior champion, so he’s been no stranger to the podium from an early age, a habit common among champions. But, it’s the interview below that cements Arm’s YOTTO candidacy:


The Big Unit has it all – endearing Broken English (that includes adding an ‘s’ to the end of all singular nouns), Bono tint on the shades, a Titleist sponsorship, and most importantly, he’s totally un-phased by the Golf World smoke-show hosting the interview (her accent alone would have me launching Hozzle Rockets).

In the end, it’s Aphibarnrat himself who sums up why I like him so much — When asked about the strongest part of his game, he replies, ‘I got good driver and a lot confident right now.’

Arm's Race

On behalf of us all here at NLU, I’d like to thank 

 for sharing this video of a man crashing through the roof of a Pro-Shop. It’s made my Monday exponentially better.

‘Hey Ron’ – Could you ask for a better reaction from the pro-shop guy? Guy falls like a sack of bricks. You can even see his dome piece bounce off the floor, and how do these guys react? With about as much emotion as Duffner when he stuffs a wedge to six feet.

And then Billy, tells him not to move. At first, I thought it was because he’s concerned about broken bones. But no, we soon realize, it’s so he can get his camera. Billy, Ron, we salute you.

This may be how Jean Van De Velde felt after Carnoustie in 1999 (Paul Lawrie definitely reminds me of Billy…).

Happy Monday: Man Crashes through Pro-Shop Ceiling

With the 2013-14 season still very much in its infancy, we get the majestic beauty of small-sample results. And what’s more fun than taking said results and pretending to be the next great hero of a Nate Silver book?

From a strictly YOTTO perspective, here’s what we know right now:

Jimmy Walker is absolutely balling out! He’s YOTTOing harder than anybody we’ve ever measured; his current mark of 291 besting Tiger’s 263 from 1999. We’re curious to see how long this dance with history lasts. (Kinda like we’re curious if the Washington Generals can beat the Globetrotters).

 there are four golfers poised to really make significant in-roads into the consciousness of casual golf fans over the course of this season: Jimmy Walker (duh), Harris English (sired by DLIII?), Chris Kirk, and Ryan Moore. These guys are all currently scoring greater than 200 on our Index.

If you’re not down with Kiradech Aphibarnrat (aka ‘The Big Unit’) yet, we’d advise quickly amending that. This heavy hitter plundered the ‘Pacific-Rim Swing’ and now stands poised to unleash his fury on the contiguous 48. He’s currently 11th on the leaderboard despite sparing Hawaii from certain cataclysm. To say we’re rooting for a sustained Kiradech YOTTO would be a ‘massive’ understatement.

Freaking Jerry Kelly made the biggest move at the Sony, improving his mark by 56 points (from -2 to 54) and his ranking by 151 spots (from 175 to 24). That’s what a solo-3rd at this point in the season can do for somebody who banked just two top-10’s all last year (best finish being a solo-5th at Hilton Head–go figure).

Neither DJ nor Webb played this week, failing to guard their outer perimeters from hostile incursion. Each gave up 26 points (DJ from 187 to 161, Webb from 182 to 156). DJ absolutely does not care; Webb is praying for that which was lost (probably).

YOTTO Update (post Sony Open)

Big shout out to Golf.com for these gems – 

Separated at Birth: Pro Golfers and Their Celebrity Look-Alikes

Some of these comparisons are spot on (Lefty – EMILIO; Faldo – Luke Skywalker), some are ruthlessly spot on (Furyk – Mr. Burns of Simpsons; Louis Oousthuizen – Shrek), and a couple are just freaking spectacular (Nick Watney – Gary Busey!!) Here are a couple snapshots of what’s about to be the highlight of your day:

Golfers and Their Celebrity Doppelgängers

Please don’t ask me how I stumbled upon this today, but it turns out that 

Paulina Gretzky has a “99” tattoo honoring her father

, Wayne Gretzky. No big deal right? I mean, The Great One is the reason she’s famous, and what better way to pay tribute to her father than to have his number “retired” on her body.

Wait… the tattoo is on her bikini line? As if Dustin Johnson, her betrothed, didn’t have enough trouble with the Gretzky intimidation factor. DJ habitually goes nuts at the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am, winning it in 2009 and 2010, and finishing top 7 on two separate occasions. But in 2013, he was paired with The Great One as his amateur partner, and it didn’t go well. DJ self destructed in similar fashion to Happy Gilmore in the 1996 Pepsi Pro-Am.

Johnson shot 73-69-74 to miss the cut, which we immediately attributed to Mr. Gretzky’s presence.

Apparently golfing with your slampiece's dad is intimidating. 

So not only does The Great One’s intimidation factor influence DJ’s golf game, he now has to look at that “99” every time he and Paulina…. Well…. I’m guessing all he thinks when sees that is Wayne cupping his hands saying, “JACKASS!”

Paulina Gretzky Has Tattoo Honoring The Great One In An Odd Location

Murder should never be a light topic. But when wanted fugitive 

Benson Kyle Lloyd of Jasper, GA, was nabbed by police

 in a PGA Superstore range stall, let’s hope he was at least hitting driver. The article from the Woodstock, GA daily paper suggests Lloyd was dumb for showing such a carelessness on a Wednesday afternoon. I disagree. The PGA Superstore seems like a great place to hide out and kill time if you keep a hat on and your head down. Have to wonder how long he was in the store – chances are it was at least two hours- nobody 

 leaves that place in under two hours, it just doesn’t happen.

Judging by the mug shot and cold blooded murder charges, we should all be glad the Cherokee County police are cleaning up the North Georgia area and keeping The PGA Superstore ‘Crack House’ safe for all of us.

“Enjoy the jail cell pal” – couldn’t have said it better ourselves, Webb.

Writing