(What the hell is YOTTO? See here. Leaderboard here.)

With the 2013-14 season still very much in its infancy, we get the majestic beauty of small-sample results. And what’s more fun than taking said results and pretending to be the next great hero of a Nate Silver book?

From a strictly YOTTO perspective, here’s what we know right now:

  • Jimmy Walker is absolutely balling out! He’s YOTTOing harder than anybody we’ve ever measured; his current mark of 291 besting Tiger’s 263 from 1999. We’re curious to see how long this dance with history lasts. (Kinda like we’re curious if the Washington Generals can beat the Globetrotters).
  • In all seriousness, at this point there are four golfers poised to really make significant in-roads into the consciousness of casual golf fans over the course of this season: Jimmy Walker (duh), Harris English (sired by DLIII?), Chris Kirk, and Ryan Moore. These guys are all currently scoring greater than 200 on our Index.
  • If you’re not down with Kiradech Aphibarnrat (aka ‘The Big Unit’) yet, we’d advise quickly amending that. This heavy hitter plundered the ‘Pacific-Rim Swing’ and now stands poised to unleash his fury on the contiguous 48. He’s currently 11th on the leaderboard despite sparing Hawaii from certain cataclysm. To say we’re rooting for a sustained Kiradech YOTTO would be a ‘massive’ understatement.
  • Freaking Jerry Kelly made the biggest move at the Sony, improving his mark by 56 points (from -2 to 54) and his ranking by 151 spots (from 175 to 24). That’s what a solo-3rd at this point in the season can do for somebody who banked just two top-10’s all last year (best finish being a solo-5th at Hilton Head–go figure).
  • Neither DJ nor Webb played this week, failing to guard their outer perimeters from hostile incursion. Each gave up 26 points (DJ from 187 to 161, Webb from 182 to 156). DJ absolutely does not care; Webb is praying for that which was lost (probably).