Dustin Johnson came through with at least the seventh DFL-WD on tour this year (we desperately need a name for this… let’s crowdsource something). Like a parent whose kid has acted up, we’re not mad DJ, just disappointed. Presumably DJ opted to play Houston with the intent of getting reps after playing only five tournaments thus far in 2014 and coming off a three week hiatus. As evidenced by the carnage below, the round got off to a rough start, to the point that Nobilo and Maltbie were openly joking about his attitude during the telecast.

What’s not being mentioned, however, is that DJ played his last twelve holes in one under, even more impressive considering that he closed with a double bogey. In the midst of Golf Channel televising virtually every single one of his shots (It was amazing – the producers made a conscious decision to double down on him instead of shying away from a struggling star per usual), Gary Koch mentioned how bad DJ’s pre-round warmup looked. Taken as a whole, his round certainly wasn’t a stripe show, but it wasn’t struggle city either. Hell, Jordan Spieth was +6 thru 7 last week and turned it around for a top 10 finish.

When Gerry Watson Jr. hit the eject button at Bay Hill, we were all over him, and rightfully so (dude doesn’t have an allergist on the payroll??). We’ve made it no secret that we’re not “Gerry’s kids.” The same can’t be said for DJ. His playing style embodies what we’re about at NLU, and his gives-zero-fucks-attitude and proclivity for gambling/hunting big game jive with the lifestyle as well. But as serious journalists (**cough, cough**) we’re nothing if not objective. DJ deserves all the questions flowing his way for this lapse in judgment. He could’ve thumbed a cart to the range, worked with Butch, and/or gotten this round out of his system through quality PT with his physio.

@NoLayingUp… I guess I should have WD last week after shooting 80. Seems like the new fad on tour! haha

— Billy Horschel (@BillyHo_Golf) April 3, 2014

Typically I’d be remiss in discussing a WD in this level of detail as there’s always a backstory or an injury, but injury clearly isn’t in play here. DJ didn’t even bother to make up an injury, which actually redeems him just a tiny bit as that is truly next-level apathy. I’m willing to posit that DJ fueled up the jet and headed on over to east Georgia. But not to Augusta, as most reasonable golf fans would guess. No, DJ’s probably gearing up for this Saturday’s “The Natsters,” a pro-am/member-guest over at Cuscowilla, a relatively acclaimed track east of Atlanta on Lake Oconee.

@NatHardwick @jjkilleentcu @TheLucasBlack The Natsters is the 5th major.

— Kyle Thompson (@KyleThompsonPGA) February 22, 2014

This event is like the South’s answer to the Bilderberg Group, except with frat stars, highly successful shitheads (in the positive sense), and Tommy Gainey taking the place of international financiers and titans of industry. Based on the stories we’ve heard, the eponymous Nat Hardwick (who YOTTO‘d a little bit in the real estate law game – to the point where he’s bought into a NASCAR team, plays the Pebble ProAm regularly, and sits on the Board of the Dustin Johnson Foundation) definitely hosts the type of legendary shindig that NLU aspires to host one day. Of course, the star of many of the stories emanating from the Natser’s of yesteryears is DJ. Of course this all just speculation (allegedly). We’ll keep you updated on if he stays true to form and makes his usual appearance.

It should also be noted that the Natsters is held annually on the weekend before The Masters, which suggests that Johnson’s prep routine for the year’s first major may be unique among his peers. And that DJ has yet to notch a top ten at the Augusta, a course perfect for his game? We’ll let you figure that one out.

Bottom line: You opted to play this week. Grab your sack and get in the game. There were a slew of guys that were chomping at the bit to get in the field (namely Michael Kim and Will Strickler). The embarrassment of finishing DFL can’t be worse than taking your ball and going home. You can do this on Friday, not Thursday:

We got footage of Dustin Johnson leaving the Shell Houston Open after withdrawing https://t.co/ImYELpXOdj

— No Laying Up (@NoLayingUp) April 4, 2014