Welcome to Florida, folks, the home of sunshine (California and Aruba would argue) and the home of the PGA Tour! During a conversation on golf earlier this week, my roommate said, “The Masters is like a month away.”

I said, “No it isn’t, it’s like six weeks away.”

He said, “Whatever, same thing. The point is, it’s on my mind. I’m thinking about it, and you know the Tour guys are thinking about it.”

Well said, Paul. The Florida swing offers a great warm-up to Augusta with the world’s best all playing at least a couple stops as the Tour makes it’s way North to Augusta. This week’s stop is at the PGA National Resort & Spa – Champion Course, so “for the love of Golf (can you hear The Black Knight’s accent),” let’s get to the preview!

Originally a Fazio design, the Champion Course was redesigned by Jack Nicklaus in 1990, making it–I believe–the 647th Nicklaus-inspired course played so far this year. A par-70, 7,048 yard layout, it’s a bear (pun all the way turnt up) of a track 

 as the most difficult non-major venue, averaging “1.138 strokes over par” per round (note: it’s a par 72 from the tips for the other 51 weeks of the year, so take the over-par measuring system with a grain of salt).

The overall theme of the course is precision. Landing areas, especially around pins, are tight and strategically guarded by bunkers, water, and sloping. Guys need to be dialed-in with their distances because misses short or long usually result in awkward, uncomfortable plays to the flag with bogey (or worse) squarely in play. That’s not say there aren’t bailout areas–there are–but you ain’t making birdies from ’em. The Champion Course at PGA National is a lot like Torrey South in that it must be approached with patience (par is a good number all week), only attacking flags when conditions (wind, pin, etc.) and club selection is right and utmost care is given. Rest assured our leaders will be ‘flighting’ the crap out of the ball this week, as it’s especially difficult to keep missing one’s way around without stepping on a land-mine or four.

The most renowned section of the Champion Course is #15 through #17. Glossed the ‘Bear Trap,’ it’s regarded as among (if not 

toughest three-hole stretch in golf. And if the wind is whipping? Forget about it. It becomes a challenge to just bail out and try to save par. Here are Jack and Nick Price discussing the Bear Trap:

As discussed in the clip, #15 is a 179 yard par-3 that appears somewhat benign. But the wind can really wreak havoc on club selection and there’s water front, right, and long right. Short left is a bailout area, with longer left leaving guys in the bunker. As is the case all over, it’s just tough to get the ball near most pin positions, and the wind can bring big numbers into play.

#16 is a 434 yard par-4, relatively short by Tour standards (length isn’t what makes the Bear Trap so formidable), with liquid looming right, and bunkers and rough looming elsewhere. The green is tiered with a bailout short. The challenge on this hole isn’t necessarily the green as much as driving the ball into a good spot so one can attack the flag with a second shot.

#17 is another par-3, measuring 172 yards. Water is again in play (surprise!), guarding short and right. Long leaves one in the bunker, and with the green sloping back to front, it’s a really scary bunker shot back to a front pin when you’re trying to make par. If the Champion were a horse track, this hole would officially be ‘Dead Man’s Corner,’ for the shear number of whips that get piled up here each week.

Located in Palm Beach Gardens, FL (2.5 hours southeast of Orlando on the Atlantic side, north of Miami/West Palm Beach), the Honda Classic on one hand feels like the ghost of the Players’ (locale, venue, copious water, prominent field) while also representing the closest thing we have to a true 

 (both American and foreign-born guys have residences in and around the area. Must be something in the tax code air).

As touched on from the onset, now that the calender has turned to March, and with Augusta looming more prominent by the week, this event is a nice checkup to see who has their swing grooved and who’s still heavy in ‘The Process.’ Difficult scoring conditions are the exception rather than the rule on Tour, so I for one enjoy each chance we get to watch as Pros grind to make par and post red numbers. I also freely admit to rubber-necking a nice car crash or two, which should be provided in spades. Finally, we know any low round posted, especially on the weekend, is a genuine accomplishment, a feat deserving of all the praise and hyperbole admiration we can muster.

Michael Thompson, best remembered for his runner-up finish to NLU folk-hero ‘

‘ for most memorable crashing of the 2012 US Open, opened 67-65 and never looked back through the weekend, finishing 9 under, 271 and besting Geoff Ogilvy by two strokes, Luke Guthrie by four strokes, and a group six back including Keegan Bradley, Lucas Glover and Justin Rose. Also in the top-ten (T9 to be exact) were Schwartzel, DeLaet, Westwood One, and Graeme McDowell. Why do we point all this out? Because this thing looked like a damn US Open Lite last year! Expect/hope for more of the same this year.

(all lines courtesy Ladbrokes.com, the Official Bookmaker of NoLayingUp.com)

 – Love his game, especially here, but don’t really love the odds. Still, last three years has gone T9, T9, T6. The harder the conditions, the better the chance he’ll be right in the mix come Sunday.

 – Fair odds. Owns a T9, T5, and T14 last three years, combined with really crisp play last couple weeks, and he’s essentially a must-play.

 – #trending. Was T13 here last year including a final round 74 that saw him give ground on Sunday.

 – Tastier odds for a guy off T9, 4, and T29 and T9 last four starts in this event. Plus, we’re hoping Westwood One can start making some noise and be a real threat going into Augusta.

 – Right in the mix last year before he hit the eject button in the 3rd round (shot 81) . Bounced back with a very respectable 70 in the final round, though, and we have to believe he’s had this tourney circled for some revenge. Steadfastly believe he’s plotting a massive, hostile takeover of the Florida Swing. When a stock you’re in love with loses even a little value, the prudent decision isn’t to sell, it’s to double down. That’s us and Mr. Horschel.

 – you can’t convince me this guy, in his form over the last 8 months, belongs below the 66/1 group. Made cut here last year in only start, though it was an unspectacular T58. I think his game is that of a consistent 40/1 to 50/1 type guy right now. Hence, value play.

 – this one’s practically mandated. We’re really high on this young guy, and his performance here last year is a big reason why (solo 3rd). At these odds we couldn’t face ourselves in the mirror if we didn’t take him.

 – has made the cut five straight times here, including a T13 last year and a T9 in 2012.

 – so Senden probably won’t win this thing, but he’s about as good a tee-to-green player as there is in the world. Hasn’t played the event the last three years, which is why these odds are perhaps so high, but JS made the cut every year from 2007 to 2010 here finishing between T27 and T50 each time. I’ll happily buy a Senden lotto ticket on a this track ALL DAMN DAY.

 – hahaha….JUST KIDDING. But seriously, there are a ton of dudes at 100/1 and higher who are intriguing for whatever reason. Have some fun, throw a couple darts and you’ll probably have a puncher’s chance into Saturday at least.

Slug your beer every time you see a fanny pack. Along with the sun and the PGA Tour, Florida is also home to sketchy pain doctors fanny pack tourism!

Rog (or anyone else on the broadcast team) manages to crowbar sneak in a reference to Johnny winning this event twice (’80 & ’83). Also go ahead and just drink like crazy if you’re upset with the switch back to NBC for the Florida swing. It’s not even golf coverage, it’s just a running conversation between “Rog”, Gary, and Johnny with Dan Hicks making sure everyone stays deferential to what Johnny says from on high. It’s a stale shtick and only tolerable in small doses.

Pour a stiff shot every time an allusion is made to The Golden Bear’s Nephew, Florida State TE/H-Back Nick O’Leary. You know it’s coming at least once during each day’s broadcast since they’re playing on Seminole soil. Although we at NLU have stupid high respect for O’Leary after watching this footage of his gnarly motorcycle accident…The dude walked away with nothing more than scrapes…WHOA!

Begin chugging a col’ beer each time the broadcast cuts to obviously canned footage and Dan says in somber, hushed tones something to the effect of, “this was the scene just moments ago at the [insert hole number] where [insert Pro] became yet another victim of the famed Bear Trap…” The challenge is to see if you can kill your beer before our poor, fallen Pro has finished killing his tournament.

If you’re looking to binge a little bit, take a sip each time NBC points out so and so is “from the area,” or “lives nearby,” or “has a house here.” Like eighty guys do, so you should be good and sauced in time to sit down for family dinner!

Really have to love the way car companies embrace the golf tourney sponsorship. Hyundai kicked things off right this year in Hawaii (though ZJ wasn’t the sexiest winner…), and Honda has been sponsoring this tourney since 1982, though some would argue that Honda and ‘classic’ is an oxymoron.

bounced around like a foster child over the years

, with some rather illustrious stops at cookie-cutter TPC courses along the way. Pro’s used to bitch that 

 and the Country Club at Mirasol wasn’t too much better. It seems they’ve finally found a suitable home – kinda makes you wonder what took so long, as PGA National has been sitting here just about as is since Nicklaus redid it in 1990. Too, PGA National is widely credited as one of the reasons Tiger decided to play the event, along with the close proximity to his house and it fitting in nicely with the rest of his schedule.

Speaking of Big Cat, events always feel bigger when he’s around. Really not too much to say about him thus far other than it’ll be interesting to see where he is in ‘The Process.’ At this point, it’s rather surprising to learn it’s 

more about building for Augusta than actual results for him

The extra-girthy duo of Uihlein and Koepka are in the field this week for a rare US cameo. Can we get these guys boosted in the OWGR just a bit already so they qualify for WGC’s????

There are four power groups which will dominate 1st and 2nd round coverage: Thursday: Rory/Adam Scott/Horschel and Lefty/Rickie/Grame McDowell; Friday: Stenson/Sergio/Luke Donald and Tiger/ZJ/Keegan. Uhhh, OK!

Lastly, and apropos of nothing really, I got a kick out of what Google kept trying to direct me to when I typed in ‘honda classic.’ I finally gave in and let our digital overlords take me there:

If a venue change is needed again, my vote is to TPC Islamabad.

The Honda Classic Preview

Victor Dubuisson won the 17th and 18th holes to force a playoff, got up and down from the desert on the 19th and 20th holes (sending twitter into a frenzy), before finally falling to Jason Day on the 23rd hole of the match. Day earned his second career win with birdie at #15, the short par-4, chipping his second shot close and making birdie as Dubuisson was not able to match after he caught a nasty lie for his second shot. Although not victorious, Dubuisson was a revelation to the broad viewing audience, showing bountiful game, oodles of touch and imagination around the green, and of course that world-class head of hair. People will remember this tournament for his crazy escapes from behind and under cacti to keep the match alive–see GIF’s below (courtesy of 

The next one on the 20th (along with Jason Day’s awesome reaction):

As mentioned above, twitter went absolutely bananas as Dubuisson was blasting through cacti, banking balls off camera cords, and calmly rolling in the subsequent par putts:

Dubuisson just hit a tougher shot than the one I played off Larson's foot. What a shot *golf clap*



— Shooter McGavin (@ShooterMcGavin_) 

Stuck behind a jumping cholla?? No big deal for V-Dubs — sticks it to about 3.5 feet. Unreal! 

Take THAT Bill Haas!



— Matt Ginella (@MattGinellaGC) 

Blah ha… Outta the catcus. Long hair don't care.. Who cares about this TV wire. Up and down for par.



— Jason Dufner (@JasonDufner) 

This guy is a freak. Day is LOLing.



— Kyle Porter (@KylePorterCBS) 

WAAAAAAAAT are we watching?



— Alex Nicholson (@AlexPGAPro) 

haha this is good stuff



— Bud Cauley (@BudCauley) 

Can't be. Just can't.



— Doug Ferguson (@dougferguson405) 

Those may be the two best escape shots I've ever seen. Allez Victor. 





— Graeme McDowell (@Graeme_McDowell) 

Victor Dubuisson has been on our radar for awhile now, and it was great to see him announce himself on one of golf’s biggest stages. This led our own Tron to wonder:

How are the French so shitty at golf? Is it just because they view it as such a bourgeois sport? They’re a huge population of relatively middle class peeps who like sports. They should have more prominent golfers. And Dubuisson is a stud. The only two guys who are ahead of him in the world rank AND younger than him are Spieth and Matsuyama!

 It was great to watch an entire final round and know that I was going to be pleased with whomever ended up being the winner. Instead of having to watch Bubba drop #TourSauce all over the yard, or root against some no-name schwaldo destined for our No-Fly list, I saw three ‘kids’ with crazy amounts game, plus major-winner and seasoned vet Ernie Els, do battle all day long. A very pleasurable, rewarding Sunday as a fan and viewer.

 Also very nice to see Rickie Fowler bust out of a slump and earn a 3rd place finish and some major OWGR points. His conquests went: match-play-savant Ian Poulter, Hottest-Player-on-the-Planet Jimmy Walker, Top-10-player-in-the world Sergio Garcia, and veteran slowpoke Jim Furyk before losing to eventual champion Jason Day (then defeating Ernie Els for 3rd place). His struggles concurrent to implementing significant swing changes have been well documented, but his poor results were more a result of putting than ball striking. Hopefully this week instills extra confidence in the new swing, and some trust for “The Process.” In general, I feel like the hate has gone too far on Rickie. Yes, he’s “overhyped” compared to a lot of guys in his class of talent, but he’s not “all style, no substance” as some would suggest. The kid can flat out play, and he’s a classy guy as well. We’re rooting for him.

 After what we just watched, it’s hard to suggest changing the match play, but we’re gonna try (credit to Fil for this idea):

I think the following could potentially get the competitive juices going a bit and add much-needed intrigue/drama to the Match Play:

Seed the field 1 to 64 as is currently the case. Conduct practice rounds and whatever else is regularly scheduled on Monday and Tuesday. Then Tuesday evening gather all the players into a conference room at the clubhouse and fill out the bracket in a two-hour, Golf Channel live primetime extravaganza.

The twist is to let the players place their names on the bracket in order of their seeding. So the #1 seed goes first and places his name on the blank board. Then the #2 seed follows placing his name anywhere in the now 63 open slots, then the #3 seed, etc etc.

It will most likely follow a regularly seeded bracket through the first 32 picks or so, but after that it would get 

 interesting as guys begin going after who they want (Hell, I’d love to see some chutzpah from a top seed who goes after another top seed early). So all of a sudden the matches on Wednesday offer instant storylines with low seeds ‘wanting’ to play certain guys, high seeds perhaps feeling disrespected, and maybe a matchup of a couple top seeds sprinkled in.

Our first non-Jimmy Walker WIN of the year is our 3rd total. And although guys are guaranteed a T33 at worst just by participating, we’ll willfully ignore that, dap ourselves for placing all picks within the top-35, and call it a great week!

We bid adieu to the west coast and head cross-country to Florida for the Honda Classic. The Honda has quietly yotto’d the last few years and is now finds itself one of the most prestigious events (non-major, non-WGC category) of all regular Tour stops. Stacked field, challenging course, and primo location for many pros promise another great week of action ahead of us.

Accenture Match Play Recap

In the second installment (read through the Offense 

) of our PGA All-Pigskin scouting report, we head across the line of scrimmage to check out the preseason defensive depth chart highlighting the baddest dudes on tour. The 4-3 scheme features speed and power all over the field, and with the proper tutelage and nutritional oversight this squad could rival a powerhouse outfit like the Oakland Raiders of the last ten years, or at least 

ran a train on their Ivy League opponents

 (Go Lions!!!). As we demand expect our offense to score at will, there’s legitimate concern about the endurance and depth on the defensive side of the ball, so we’ve stockpiled backups at certain positions.

DEFENSIVE END (we want a stable of ‘dogs’ because 

This burly Scandinavian is an absolute bomb threat on the left side. Flashes the ability to dip, rip, replace and run. Can throw guys out of the bar. The 

dark places he’s journeyed to with his golf game

 will only help fuel the monster inside. Measurables are through the roof (he’s a Jay Bilas approved 6’5″) and this Big Swede flashes serious upside. Possesses active hands, but you’d like to see more burst and consistency. Boom/bust potential.

Kuch may look soft and kind, but he’s the grown up version of that quiet, coachable, hard-working high school teammate. All he needs to do is keep contain and hold gaps. The former junior tennis star’s size, steady demeanor, and sneaky athleticism make him perfect opposite the explosive Big Swede. He’s a fiery coach’s project; at practice and in film sessions expect tirades such as, ‘

Hey Kuch, you went to Georgia Tech right? Don’t understand the laws of physics? Get your f***ing ass down, SON! You have to gain depth to get leverage.

Hey Kuch, wipe that f**king smile off your face and quit saying ‘my bad, coach’. And if you can’t do that, I got something else you can help with…you can eat my ass cuz I’m not screaming for my health, SON!

‘ We’d throw Kuchar into the crucible early in two-a-days and watch him sink or swim. We have the feeling he’ll menace gridiron foes just like he’s menaced foes in country club sports.

– The other large Swede has exactly the volatile demeanor and competitive drive (i.e. ‘motor’) to bring it on every play. At 6’1″, he’s longer than many of the NFL’s best and baddest dudes on the d-line (James Harrison and Von Miller both 6 foot), but will still have the pad level to dip and rip on slower tackles (looking at you, De Jonge). One look at the post-round carnage to the locker below, and we see the intensity Big Stense is capable of in the heat of battle.

As evidenced by the role he’ll be filling, English will be working hard on scout-squad honing his craft, in the weight room with our S&C staff (only world-class physios for Team NLU), and with our nutritionist (two words: MASHED POTATOES!!!). May also consider hooking him up with our pharmacist (we’ll announce our pharmacological staff, and other coaching/front-office spots, in 

) to provide the choicest “supps” to aid in the growth process. The frame is there – he’s a legit 6’3″ with a jumbo jet wingspan and the bone structure to load on 45-50 lbs. of lean muscle. The combo of his South Georgia upbringing, SEC roots (UGA product) and his insanely solid mental approach instill confidence that he’ll stay focused on his development. This guy’s work to gain #CertifiedStud status on Tour in such a short time screams value-play and high-upside potential. Like JP Morgan, he’s too damn big to fail.

While this bit player/NLU fringe-favorite hasn’t quite established himself on Tour (

…we hope), that isn’t an issue on the gridiron. The lettuce, the facial landscaping, the pragmatic mindset…he’s the quintessential BIG NASTY. Built like a sequoia, he’ll be tasked with playing assignment football – no freelancing allowed – and taking pride in stopping the run. Great locker room presence.

‘The Tank’ is the A gap plug (sexual innuendo unintentional). He’s a veteran anchor to build around as the former professional weightlifter (squatted over 350 lbs. as a 13 year-old, seriously) plays stout in the trenches with textbook posture, tremendous pad level, and a hilariously low center of gravity. Marginal height and weight hurt his stock a bit, but his lateral quickness and “brick”-like physique should be perfect on early downs and short-yardage situations. May struggle with penetration but will absolutely hold his ground and be active in both gaps. As you’ll see with our LB’s, we can afford to skimp a little bit on size in this spot. Our marketing department is really riding us about growing the game over in Asia – Choi will do wonders for that. Dude’s a rockstar.

The SAM Backer spot begs for a broad, lanky specimen who can set the edge on sweeps, bring the noise on the blitz, and match up with TE’s down field. Scott’s frame, work ethic, and the loose screw every Australian has make him a match made in heaven for this spot. Digging deeper in the film room, expect his lateral quickness and change of direction to be as effortless as his golf swing, and we know he’ll be a gym rat and film disciple under the watchful tutelage of a guy he’s pretty familiar with on our S&C staff. His gait is a bit rigid but we’ll get that straightened out in no time, as our plyometrics program is wayyy too strong.

– An important distinction here is that we’re highlighting a hybrid version of Lee – he’ll need to keep his newly acquired fitness while layering on the excess pounds he carried in the early aughts to pack enough punch as our Mike. This is one where we’re really proud of our scouting department for their willingness to think outside the box, seeing not only the past and present but having the confidence in our staff to mold him into a combination of those. Westwood Version 1.5 is your classic run stopper (a la Brandon Spikes). He’ll probably be a casualty of our need to sub in the nickel package on 3rd down (we’ve got that covered below), but this bowling ball is an absolute necessity on running downs. Lee’s a tough cookie and we respect his grind. His relatively recent move to Florida is a welcome sight (as 

we’ll send him over to nearby Muck City

 to work on his footwork), as is his split with Sean Foley (shows a distaste for godawful hair and haberdashery – we expect our guys to look good on AND off the field). We expect to see a little of this from 1.5 when preseason camp ends:

– A 6’4″ 200 lb corn-fed Willy backer prototype from America’s heartland? Say no more. A bit stiff (lose the plaid collars, bud), but displays the versatility to work in space or in a phone-booth, a load on the blitz. His recent form is shaky but the week-in, week-out consistency he showed from 2009-2012 signifies solid practice habits. Another positive: he’s a man! A negative: he’s forty (actually the Oklahoma State product is 38, but close enough). On an extremely veteran LB corps, he’ll serve as the quiet killer.

– Another young Aussie with something to prove. Anyone who’s seen Jay Day in person knows he’s all girth – an efficient, dense package. There’s a controlled power and swagger to his game on the course that translates well into the mentality required of the lonely, last line of defense. This 

Steve DiMeglio article from 2011 highlights

 that physicality was ingrained in Day at a young age. He admits to ‘

being an alcoholic when [he] was 12 and was a constant combatant in fistfights at school,’ 

until being shipped off to boarding school at 14. Sounds like a free safety to me! We picture his game as similar to that of 

 – lean power, precision, intensity. Back-end sniper.

Tiger wears the same shirt in his ‘office.’

 mentality (a la LaRon Landry). Tiger will prowl the flats and be active in the run game (has always displayed a real penchant for relentlessly plugging holes, both on 

 off the field). Displays phenomenal back-pedal, of course, as Tiger’s a physical specimen. A cool customer under pressure, Big Cat hunts for the Ronnie Lott ‘woo lick.’ Medical red-flags surrounding surgically repaired knee, Achilles, and face (we’re looking at you, Elin!). Concerns abound regarding issues with situational discipline in man coverage, on play-action, and after the whistle (possibly after hours as well). He’s our enforcer and tone-setter- frosty with opponents, fans, and media alike!

Loves to get up in run support, turning the hole into a ‘Kill House.’

– We look to the SEC (Florida, specifically) for our tandem of starting corners. Billy-Ho’s technique is rock solid; fluid hips, swivels extraordinarily well. Just the latest in a long lineage of Gator CB’s – similar to Jannoris Jenkins (minus the 17 kids with 12 different women). Only knock is 

, which we think is overblown (as evidenced below). Mental makeup is even stronger than his physical build, a student of the game – this guy establishes permanent residence in opponents’ heads. Consistent. Focused. Maniacal. Talks all game. Think Richard Sherman. Possesses above average size for a corner. No doubt he’ll look crispy in his uniform. Has proven he can hang with up-tempo offenses, as he’s the Tour’s answer to Chip Kelly on the pace-of-play spectrum.

As promised, another Gator (SEC speed kills) holds down the fort opposite Horschel Island. Our staff will have ZERO apprehension when they decide to play man coverage on the outside. Camilo’s flexibility and footwork are both on-point. Fiery competitor who will help establish a Latin American pipeline. Reads defenses well, decisive, but concerns about ability in run support; may find himself the nail more often than the hammer.

Excellent feet, great hips, reads routes well.

– We tabbed Saabo here as much for his mental skills as his physical traits – opponents typically want to murder him after spending an afternoon squaring off against this grimy competitor. Fits the bill from a physical perspective, though getting on in years now and not a great cover man. Would have to hide him a bit. Not an every-down player but a luxury off the bench. Think De’Angelo Hall.

 Wily vet obviously is throwing tight, happy spirals out of his ass on punts too.

, shows off the excellent footwork you’d expect from a soccer fan. Increased work with his physio should translate into improved hang time on the field. Still want to see more consistency but has shown that his accuracy is solid. Buttery wedge game suggests sneaky-good 

The third and final installment drops next week and will feature a deep-dive into the Coaches, Front Office/Support Staff, Broadcast Crew and some Honorable Mentions who didn’t make the big squad but will be given the chance to get reps on our Scout Team. As always we’re open to suggestions, so share your thoughts in the comments section below or on twitter (

). Is our LB Corps TOO meaty? Did Jason Kokrak’s measurables deserve a slot somewhere? Are there glaring omissions? Is anyone on the squad a total pretender who our scouts totally whiffed on? Let us know!

No Laying Up's PGA Pigskin Team - Defense

Four (five, actually) pieces we liked this week and present to you for your entertainment and general self-edification desires on this Friday afternoon. Enjoy the Match Play and come on over to our 

 has done a six-part series on Jarrod Lyle, his backstory, his battles with cancer, and what’s next for him. 

. You can also catch up on previous parts as desired.

dropped a couple interesting pieces recently: 1) 

Tiger Woods and his ‘process’ to build for Augusta

An in-depth look at Golf in the 2016 Olympics

offers an interesting, rare glimpse into the 

Finally, we’ll help you get the weekend started with Edward Frenkel’s light, whimsical (non-golf related) query from last Sunday’s 

Friday Links Foursome (What We're Reading)

The NFL Scouting Combine kicks off this weekend, a perfect occasion to announce our inaugural 

. This multi-part feature comprises our stab at creating a professional football franchise from the athletic smorgasbord of touring golf professionals. Today’s installment outlines our vision for the offensive unit, which we’ve set up to be a pro-style attack marked with a wide variety of personnel groupings. We intend to stretch the field vertically, while also imposing our will at the line of scrimmage.

Dissent and suggestions are absolutely encouraged, but keep in mind that our notes on each player are the result of hundreds of hours spent in the film room grinding on game tape, pouring over hypothetical Wonderlic test results, hushed conversations with NLU confidants (Yes, that includes Gruden, Kiper, and Jaws) and traveling to the “pro-days” we conducted (in our imaginations). And while some positions are obviously a bit harder to fill (the tour ranks are limited in certain physiques and skillsets), we’ve tried to be creative in addressing these need areas (the Lines were particularly challenging, but we will win in the trenches with technique and coaching). Without further ado, let’s go to the NLU War Room!

 – Really no surprise here – the ball must be in the hands of the most gifted player. Ultra-competitiveness is complimented with off-field charisma that is every agent’s “teenage” dream. Mickelson’s 

 persona, sly smile, and experience under pressure combine for a plus-plus make-up calling to mind Kenny “The Snake” Stabler. Projects as a pure pocket passer so statuesque mobility isn’t a huge concern. Large mitts lead to smooth play-action fakes/RB-exchanges and “The Howitzer”hanging from his right shoulder can ignite an offense (contrary to popular belief, he throws righty). Can laser deep out-routes from the five step drop yet possesses fade-ball touch from his more natural shotgun delivery. Coaches will surely work on tightening his load and release as windows shrink and timing is paramount at the next level. What separates Philip from other QB’s in this class is his unflappable, at times irrational, self-confidence and love of the ‘Moment.’ He’s a gunslinger to the core — ceiling is a middle-class version of Brett Favre; floor is Rex Grossman (aka “The Sex Cannon”) — just as capable of snatching victory from the jaws of defeat as defeat from the warm bosom of victory. Off the field, Mickelson is a natural franchise figurehead, at home signing autographs for fans, giving great soundbites to the media, and schmoozing corporate sponsors. Has shown a habit of adding pounds in the offseason, and gunslinger mentality extends beyond the field where his gambling itch will need to be reigned in and monitored lest he become the next 

. Although some GM’s have voiced concerns regarding Phil’s chronic psoriatic arthritis, our team physician maintains that with enough Enbrel this shouldn’t hinder the play or development of NLU’s QB1.

Great arm strength, tight spin. Needs to quicken his release.

 – Let’s be honest, the former college basketball scholar-athlete is built like a brick shit-house and pisses intensity. Squats a ton, military presses the weight room, and based on the amount of “downcock” he has in his swing (and most likely between his legs), I’d take him in an Oklahoma drill during preseason two-a-days over just about any other guy on Tour (except 

 Big Cat). Is best suited for the one-cut yardage between the tackles, and while he’s shown the capability to make the first man miss, is at home running downhill with his pads square to the line-of-scrimmage. Eats up three to four yards at a time and consistently falls forward. Crazy-good posture could be a detriment down the road as he will take a ton of punishment being an upright runner (a la Adrian Peterson). Willing and able blocker, he takes pride in pass-protection which will be a real asset in our pro-style attack as he’s versatile enough to stay on the field on third and long (again, we’re going to be 

 – ‘The Puma’ fits this role perfectly for two reasons. First, his distance off the tee suggests Rickie packs explosive power into his compact frame. Plays bigger than he really is, and couples it with excellent athletic ability and balance (as evidenced by his moto-cross skills). Second, every football team needs that guy with flair, the guy that lives by the ‘look good, play good’ mantra. Expect bright orange spatted cleats, bicep bands, mirorr-tinted visor, and crispy white gloves…in practice and on game-day! Good lateral quickness and reliable hands make him a homeless man’s Warrick Dunn–a one-cut, off-tackle runner and sneaky screen man. Exceptional ball location skills. Downside is his slight frame and lack of muscle definition – not to worry though, our Strength & Conditioning staff has already mapped out a preseason nutrition and weight-lifting program.

 – Broad-shouldered specimen. Basically possesses the frame of a Clydesdale and his 

 suggest a phenomenal football IQ. Projects as an above-average blocker with the versatility to play all over the field. Looks good in a uniform – essential for the modern tight-end, and did you really think his annual pairing at Pebble with the hooded, serial TE-hoarding Bill Belichick was coincidence? The total package – think poor man’s Gronk. Already familiar with the 

 – Now here’s a lanky specimen; high-hipped. Raw and in need of solid positional coaching but with polish can evolve into a serious threat as a “move” tight end. Building the necessary mass is a serious concern in short yardage; footwork will be a struggle – could be big tendency tipper. Stupid-high upside as a cover 2 beater (SEAM ROUTES!). Tweener downside as he may be allergic to in-line blocking and physicality of any sort. Inherent injury risk.

 – DJ really exploded onto our scouts’ radar at the 2010 US Open, where the broadcast team slobbered over his athletic accomplishments at Coastal Carolina (except Johnny Miller – he only slobs himself). The guy is basically a living, breathing example of the Presidential Physical Fitness Award they hand out in high school PE. Great leaping ability combined with tall frame (6’4″) make DJ a nightmare cover for smaller corners. Uses his long arms and massive paws to snatch the ball out of the air, away from his body. Lacks polish as a route-runner and can be a bit slow getting in and out of cuts. He’s a long strider who takes time to accelerate–think Randy Moss–but with more than enough top-line speed to be a constant deep threat. Upside suggests franchise player, all-pro receiver, and all around alpha male. Concerns exist about football IQ and focus under pressure due to REALLY low Wonderlic scores.

Wingspan + athleticism = no-brainer All-Pigskin WR selection

 – Pro frame and natural chemistry with QB1 Mickelson make Keegan the perfect compliment opposite DJ. Really precise route runner with excellent body control, natural comps include Ed McCaffrey and TJ Houshmandzadeh. Underrated athleticism can make him a tougher-than-expected man cover; also has great feel and understanding of zone coverage and sits down in open areas. His best role likely is as third-down safety valve and general security blanket for the QB. Will not shy away from contact and makes tough, physical catches in traffic. Has a passion for the ‘Moment.’ Gamer. Solid chemistry with QB1 and locker room favorite an added bonus.

. Sneaky-quick, tenacious, and mouthy – all three essential for an undersized receiver making his living over the middle. Will need a strong position coach to keep his mercurial personality in check; serious chemistry concerns abound due to a history of locker room beefs and on-field tantrums. Athletically, displays excellent feet and explosive burst off the line of scrimmage. Sinks his hips, puts his foot in the ground, and is in and out of cuts with precision. Projects as a poor man’s Danny “Madulla” Amendola and shares the same fragility. Shows a frustrating lack of concentration for someone so talented; will drop balls he shouldn’t. Home run threat in space, elusive after catch but doesn’t seek contact. Can help out on special teams as a plug and play return man from day 1.

 – The Big Easy has the frame, footwork, and quiet swagger to shoulder front-side responsibilities. A real knee-bender, the former ‘rugger’ isn’t scared to grab grass and get depth to gain leverage in the run game. Also possesses the laid back demeanor needed to forget about giving up 

. Whispers among scouts suggest vulnerability to the bull rush due to height but his phenomenal kick-step and initial punch should keep speed rushers locked out of the pocket.

 – Judging by the move he’s made on the golf ball for years this guy would be an absolute menace pulling inside on trap plays. He’s that grimy veteran, the glue of the O-line and a definite ankle twister on the bottom of the pile. While we expect JD to sneak in a few lung darts in the tunnel during halftime and take up the torch for rookie hazing (think Incognito), this guy will be the heartbeat of our team. Recent weight loss and sobriety raising legitimate red-flags…

 – Baby Walrus is our quiet muscle, the student of the game with pedigree who keeps his head down and plays hard. His tempo on lag putts and ability to read greens will certainly translate into consistent shotgun snaps and quick formation audibles at the LOS. He’s the cerebral anchor on our O-line. Concern among scouts is that he may lack pop at the point of attack and is missing that killer instinct to finish blocks (i.e. took his foot off Bubba’s jugular in Phoenix). Time will tell.

 – Left guard is usually reserved for the least mobile, least experienced, and most stout lineman. Naturally, we think ‘The Big Unit’ fits well here. 

, so we’ll keep his job simple (due to an obvious language barrier) and keep him stationary. Inertia will do the rest. Several suits in our pro personnel department voiced concern over his transition to American food, so we must have a solid nutritionist on staff. Overall, he’s young, coachable, and the first to say, ‘I got a lot confidence right now.’ Definitely worth a late round flier.

 – Nothing a like a girthy, former rugger to protect blind side. He’s stacked through the hips and waist (a must for a book-end tackle) but does not possess the ideal height we like to see at this position. Some worry he’s more leaner than road-grader, but we believe he possesses the necessary drive and motor to get to the second level in run sets. Jason Kokrak was a consideration here, but we’re too enamored with the idea of Zimbabwe-Thai double-team clearing B-gap on the left side of this line. With some obvious height limitations, we may adopt a zone-blocking scheme (think late nineties Denver Broncos), pound the shit out of the rock, and bury the will of the opposition!

Tenured veteran whose accuracy off the tee translates to tight spirals out his ass. Great locker room guy. Been around forever and still getting it done, even when he plays with the big boys.

 A true grinder with ice cold nerves. His skills were on display last year in Phoenix. Needs to tighten up his footwork, but gets nice lift and distance on his kicks. Has shown he can close.

Distance: not a concern. Accuracy: a concern.

As mentioned earlier, his fast-twitch muscle fiber combined with his explosive persona make him a perfect fit for return duties. May have to focus on ball security drills during off-season due to fumbling concerns.

Part 2, which features our steel-curtain defensive unit – is 

! Tell us your thoughts in the comments section below or on 

. Will this offense be able to consistently hang half-a-hundred? Are there glaring omissions? Do we need to clean house over in the scouting department?

No Laying Up's PGA Pigskin Team - Offense

Take a peek at our preview of the Accenture Match Play 

, and add your takes on the live action below.

Accenture Match Play Live Thread

Opened in 2009, The Golf Club at Dove Mountain is a Jack Nicklaus creation consisting of three nines: ‘Saguaro’ (type of cactus), ‘Tortolita’ (local mountain range), and ‘Wild Burro’ (crazy donkey). The Match Play event uses Saguaro as the opening nine (3,894 yards, par 36) and Tortolita (3,955 yards, par 36) as the finishing nine. Shame they don’t utilize the Wild Ass Burro nine for matches requiring extra holes–seems way too fitting.

Anyway, it’s pretty much standard-fare desert golf. Lush fairways, not much rough, and penal desert conditions for poorly executed shots. Accuracy off the tee and tight approach shots is the obvious recipe, along with rolling one’s rock. Pretty straightforward target golf; a far cry from Riviera last week.

The closing stretch of holes is where most of the drama will unfold. It goes like this: 

 (583 yard par-5)–par should lose the hole; 

 (449 yard par-4)– birdie usually wins the hole; 

 (343 yard par-4)–big boys can drive the green, better be scoring here; 

 (247 yard par-3)–who can get nice with a mid/long iron?, 

 (482 yard par-4)–birdie is a nice score; and the 

 (480 yard par-4)–another decent-sized four-par where birdie usually wins it. To win a match, guys are going to have to shoot some birds down the stretch.

If a match goes extras, the first three holes on the front nine (‘Saguaro’) look like this: 

 (208 yard par-3). Nice variety of holes providing the final acts in the drama.

A moment of silence, for the death of the Accenture Match Play:

On paper, a match play event sounds like a great idea to break up the repetitive week-in, week-out stroke play grind. And yet every year we’re reminded just how mediocre this event can usually is.

A bracket of 64 works fantastic once a year, and it’s not in February. It’s in March when 

 is screaming through my television calling the action. In college basketball, we’re all rooting for the underdog and for everyone’s bracket to be busted. It’s more entertaining to root for a 

school whose official color is “poop brown”

 to beat the highly favored 2 seed because the death of defeat is so final.

In golf, we constantly find ourselves rooting for either the superstars or the plucky underdog with the great story. That’s a problem at the Match Play. The big favorites are skipping this event with increasingly regularity (this year no Big Cat, no Lefty, no Adam Scott), and the feel-good story doesn’t really exist – it’s tough to be an underdog when you’re hanging out in the OWGR top-70. So it’s no surprise that our favorite Match Play moment of all time happened when Stephen Ames decided to run his mouth prior to his round first round match with Tiger Woods, after which 

, leading to the phrase “getting Ames’d.” Without some feel-good stories, the more favorites that get eliminated this weekend, the more likely you are to get your garage painted or your sock drawer organized. Now that three of the world’s top four aren’t playing, we’re officially calling for the death of the event…which would allow us to outline how to bring the event back to life.

The main issue why the enthusiasm for the event has waned in recent years is that the venue was voted as the 

, narrowly losing out to Liberty National, which is not even a regular stop on the Tour. 

Adam Scott cited the venue as the main reason for skipping the event

, noting that he would absolutely consider playing the event at a different course. The general consensus seems to be, great resort (The Ritz-Carlton hotel out there is brand new and solid), shitty golf course (cookie-cutter Nicklaus design on a barren piece of earth), in a mediocre locale (45 minutes outside Tucson). We’re not even mentioning the snow and frost delays that kinked things up the last few years.

As noted in the link above, Accenture’s sponsorship of the event ends this year, and they’ve told the PGA Tour that they won’t be re-upping. If the event is going to survive, they’re going to have to get out of the desert (and potentially to a later date in the season). Let’s dream on some locales (pretty half baked ideas):

 – Not a realistic option, but we’re dreaming. Cypress is 

 in America. It was formally part of the rotation at the Bing Crosby, but was moved for several reasons (mainly the fact that the course is 6,500 yards). Without having par to protect (remember, it’s match play), why can’t they play a shortened course? How sick would it be to see the matches come down to these finishing holes?

 – If the tournament remains in it’s current time slot on the calendar, why not start the Florida Swing a week early? If you haven’t seen or heard of this course, 

. Good luck spending less than a half hour clicking through the pictures. 

recently played there, and said it could host a major championship right now.

Matt Kuchar defeated Hunter Mahan in the championship, but all anyone remembers is the snow.

Well, this is what Dove Mountain looks like at 7:45 a.m. They'll resume play at 10:30. Maybe. … 

We’re eschewing formal picks this week and just throwing out a few names to like. To guide you on picks, I’ll refer you to 

Adam Sarson’s excellent summary of everyone in the field and their match play records

Some names to consider: Mahan, Day, Poulter, Simpson, Kuchar, Rory.

Take a drink of your beer (Tecate or Corona this week, as this event is practically in Mexico) every time the following happens:

The snow from the last two years is mentioned or shown on tv.

The Tiger Woods-Stephen Ames debacle is mentioned.

The uncertainty of the future of the event is mentioned.

Ian Poulter’s bulging eyes are discussed.

Ian Poulter’s Ryder Cup record is mentioned.

The players show up this week to collect an easy paycheck and to grab some easy world cup points, and in honor of that, we kind of half assed our preview. A first round win guarantees at minimum a T17 finish and approximately $100K payday. It’s a shame that Peter Uihlein and Brooks Koepka didn’t make it into the field. The event is lacking young blood, and natural rivalries.

 that only two matches contain players from the same country. I can just imagine the Golf Channel commercial: “Moore! Luiten! It’s the Accenture Match Play, up next, on the Golf Channel!”

Accenture Match Play Championship Preview

You know your YOTTO is on the aggressive side when a T20 dents your overall mark. But that’s what happened to 

Writing

The Honda Classic Preview

Accenture Match Play Recap

No Laying Up's PGA Pigskin Team - Defense

Friday Links Foursome (What We're Reading)

No Laying Up's PGA Pigskin Team - Offense

Accenture Match Play Live Thread

Accenture Match Play Championship Preview

YOTTO Update (NTO)

Northern Trust Open Recap

Friday Links Foursome (What We're Reading)

Northern Trust Open - Live Thread

How to Act Like a Tour Pro: Part II

Northern Trust Open Preview

YOTTO Update (AT&T Pebble Beach)

AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am Recap

Notes from the Field: Saturday at Pebble Beach

Dirty Harry Saves the Day at Pebble Beach

Friday Links Foursome (What We're Reading)