. And just when you thought the game couldn’t get any more real, eight months later, we’re finally ready to bring you #TourSauce, Part IV. Although we haven’t served the sauce in what seems like ages, we’ve been keeping the pot stirring just waiting for it to reach the right temperature.

Even the most amateur #TourSauce advocate has mastered “The Hat Tip” and “The Crowd Wave.” I’ve even seen some moves from the game’s elite, ranging from “

.” As we’ve already named 45 different ways to take your game to the truly elite level represented by tour pros, we’re really grasping here to expand the list. Nonetheless, here we go:

With this comes the (incorrect) assumption that your followers are dying to know just how excited you are for your round tomorrow. The tour pro masters this move in two ways:

1. Make sure to tag the tournament’s official twitter handle.

2. Use of at least one exclamation point!

. Getting ready to start my 2015 PGA Tour season. Course is soft but in very good shape. Teeing off at 8:05am tomorrow!



— Sergio Garcia (@TheSergioGarcia) 

You can pull this off by tagging the official twitter of your local muni (doesn’t matter if they don’t have one) and using one exclamation point for every birdie you plan on making.

You’ve got a big match coming up this weekend. Your sponsor has got your A-game outfit picked out. Time to let the followers know what you’ll be rocking, because they can’t possibly wait until your 18th hole selfie to see what you’re rocking from head to toe. Only rule here is that it must all be the same brand, because of course the sponsor is paying you an undisclosed amount to be reppin them for your 138 instagram followers.

A true favorite of mine. The rain is coming down at a steady pace. You’ve got the rain gloves out, every emergency towel in use keeping the driver’s seat of your cart dry, and you’re doing all you can to avoid “water on the clubface, bro.” The oversized Titleist umbrella is opened, and Mary Poppins is admiring how much use you’re getting out of that thing. Your partner can’t handle the conditions, so he’s in his pocket after three straight chunks. You pass him the umbrella to hold over you as you address your putt, only to have him move away at the last second.

This can be used with or without the rain. After you finished your practice strokes while standing over your eight footer, you need to clean the face from the incredible filth that inevitably built up while you were swiping at the air for 2.8 seconds.

But despite your smooth putter face, you miss. Now you need to let everyone know which side of the hole you missed on…

Literally, everyone around the green, and everyone watching on television saw the same exact thing that you saw. They saw your ball magically break down the slope of the green. Gravity can be cruel, I know. But despite the fact that everyone just saw your miss, you need to let them all know that you also saw which direction it went. Be sure to turn to your playing partner to subtly let them know that they should have seen the putt breaking that way, and that it couldn’t have been all your fault.

If you failed to execute the putter wipe noted above, then you can always go with this option for a missed putt, or for any other shot. Make it clear that something went wrong with the club your caddie gave you. That’s the only way to possibly explain your chunk.

"Yeah, blame it on the grooves." Keep fighting the good fight, Steve Sands. 

Another shot goes horribly wrong. You’ve already blamed the rain, your caddie, gravity, and your club, so you’re left with only the turf to blame. Sherlock Holmes in his prime would be jealous of the detective work you’re doing on the piece of sod you just laid over the ball. Is this Kentucky Bluegrass or quicksand? Is there a gopher under there tearing up the roots? Are we going to have to get Carl Spackler on this?

You’ve got yourself in the slightest bit of trouble in the rough on the right. There are a few trees in the vicinity, but it’s time to show just how creative you are. The best way to do this is to practice your swing without a club to make sure the club won’t hit any trees. Make sure you look around for every possible option, but to save some energy (or something), don’t pull the club out until the last possible minute.

Big Steve is headed straight to the halfway house for a hot dog, some chips, and a PBR tall boy at the turn. You’re a tour pro, so you load up on bottled water, and reach into your pantry oversized staff bag to get out your homemade PB&J, a banana, and maybe even some 

You’ve blasted out of the greenside trap to about five feet. Routine, really. The 30 groups of hacks in front of you have been digging their way out of that trap all day long, and the green’s surface between the bunker and the pin has enough sand on it that any guy or girl with a tattoo would immediately want to hang out here. If this was your mom’s house, you wouldn’t even think of cleaning off your kicks. But rather than contribute to this emerging beach, you make sure to tap the 3 grains of sand off your shoes before entering the freshly aerated putting surface.


You’ve rolled in your 8 footer for par, and casually gave the crowd your standard wave. It’s an 80 degree day, but you’re wearing your European fit pants. Rather than risk tearing a hole in them with an overzealous reach for your Titleist in the bottom of the cup, you make sure to hike up that right pant leg before stepping toward the hole. Be sure to tap down your spike mark as you walk away as well.

Another wayward shot – your fourth of the day! Something has to be terribly wrong. You’ve set the scene earlier about the back problems you’ve been having (too much time with the physio). So when you really yank one OB, you’ve had enough. You can either go with “The Sniper Hit Me From the Trees” or the “WWE takedown.” The key is you need to hit the turf harder than Lebron when he gets pinched. Time to get the pro out here to cart you back into the clubhouse.

Your 9 iron is headed straight for the flag. You need to give it the ultimate stare down to make sure it doesn’t sail more than a foot off line.

Nick Watney looks his ball flight up and down like a dude checking out a long legged female 

Somehow you missed your 20 foot birdie putt (“It broke THAT way!?”). You’ve gotta tap in your par, but you can never be too careful with your playing partner’s line, and through line. You go ridiculously far out of your way to tap in your putt that your buddies conceded to you already, but you just have to hear that sound of the ball rattling in the cup.

(A lot of hat tips here. Of course to Adam Sarson for the GIF’s, and to 

. Also thanks to anyone else that sent in ideas… gotta save some for part V!)

#TourSauce: How to Act Like a Tour Pro, Part IV

Back in January, we started our #TourSauce series, where we gave our lesson in how to act like a PGA tour pro while playing a regular round with your buddies (if you missed it 

This piece is almost the exact opposite of #TourSauce, as there is nothing on this list that you would see a PGA tour player do inside the ropes (actually I can picture Big Cat awkwardly trying some of these jokes, and everyone doing the standard fake laugh to entertain him). These aren’t meant to be pulled with your boss, your father-in-law, or a stranger you got paired up with. These are for your friends that have been talking a little bit too much trash, or an opponent that you just want to get a leg-up on.

This one only works when you’re playing with someone who hasn’t played this course before, and you have. He’s just piped one down the fairway, and reaches for the tee before the ball has even reached its apex (a #TourSauce move that we fully endorse). As you go to tee your ball up, you drop this on him:

 got over the water, but if not, there’s a drop area, so don’t worry about it.”

Their pimp strut will be rudely interrupted for at least a second or two as they try to figure out if you’re serious.

This one is for your buddy that is taking you to the cleaners. You’re four down through six, and you need to do something about it. After he splits the fairway on the 7th, all you have to do is drop this on him, and his rhythm will be gone, maybe forever:

“You’re really swinging it well, very Furyk-esque.”

How does that not un-nerve you? My swing looks like this???

This one is a classic, and there’s a good chance you’ve heard it before. This will work once and only once on your buddy, so choose your moment wisely. After piping your drive 40 yards past him, head towards his ball with him, and give it a glance as if you’re not quite sure whether it was your ball or his. You crushed your ball, and the rest of the group knows it too. They were drooling over the drive while it was in the air, and even though you claimed you “caught it a groove low,” you know that thing is running out to the end of the fairway.

As you stride past your buddy’s measly poke, and continue towards your ball, shout back towards your buddy as he chooses his club and you keep walking further away:

You: “Did you know that they’re putting in a Walmart out here?”

You: “In between my drive and yours.”

You’re first up on the tee on the par 3. You flight a six iron into a tucked pin, setting up yet another birdie try. Drop a Shooter McGavin, “Can’t learn that in a hockey rink.”

This one is perfect for your buddy that is lacking distance off the tee, to put it nicely. After he “smokes” a 240 drive on a par 5, drop a casual, “That’ll work, you can lay up just fine from there.” Any swag he thought he had after that drive will immediately be evaporated.

It’s a slow Saturday round, and you’re waiting to tee off. The group in front of you is still in the fairway, but you have the honor, and you obviously need to wait for them to at least 350 yards down the fairway before you can tee. Your buddy nudges you to go ahead and hit, as your tee is in the ground and everyone is now waiting for you. You yank your tee out of the ground, and back away saying, “I can’t go yet, but you can.”

There are some easy mind games you can play on a buddy, and you’ve likely done it before. The old fashioned “wow, how many under are you? Have you ever shot this low before?” is a guarantee to play with your buddy’s head, but it’s also cheap and unoriginal. Want to really mess with their head? Drop this one on them:

“Do you inhale or exhale during your swing?”

You’ve finished your round, and you’ve taken your buddy to the cleaners. You’ve had your post round beers, and you’re heading to your respective cars, when you drop this on him.

: “Hey, did you go in the pro shop and get your rebate?”

: “Yeah. You didn’t hit a green all day, you shouldn’t have to pay a greens fee.”

Try some of these out, and let us know how they go.

How to Trash Talk on the Links

This may be cheating a little since he’s sitting T3 at the Frys.com Open currently, but whether he shoots 66 or 76 on Sunday, the point will remain the same. Like a teenage girl hitting puberty, Scott Langley is going to bust out in a big way in 2014-2015. It’s, 

At 5’10” and a svelte 155 pounds, Langley doesn’t fit the profile of the typical bomber that we fall for here at NLU. What he lacks in distance off the tee, he makes up for it with a buttery wedge game and a silky smooth putter. It’s not a coincidence that Langley attending the University of Illinois, aka the Steve Stricker School of Efficiency. The lefty goes left about as often as Donald Trump does, eliminating the left side of courses by favoring the right side 

, which is basically redefining how to eliminate the two way miss.

Admittedly, my judgment may be clouded by the fact that he’d donned his 61 degree wedge with the greatest stamp in PGA Tour history.

 with a side of crowd acknowledgement this weekend. 

The #TourSauce enthusiast began his breakout in 2013-2014, with his best finish coming at the Valspar Championship where he finished in 3rd. If you just look at his finishing results, it may not scream “breakout candidate.” But if you dig a little deeper, you’ll see that he was 27th on tour in scoring average before the cut. Now that he has a taste of what competing on the PGA Tour is like, and he’s banked over a million bucks in the process, I’m expecting him to string together four solid rounds on a more frequent basis, win an event this season, and then nail “The Interview” on the 18th green with Feherty:

 plenty more where that came from



— Scott Langley (@Scott_Langley) 

Scott Langley: YOTTO Candidate

, and since the last one worked out pretty well (not the boldest call, considering he was a top 25 player in the world), let’s try this again: Brooks Koepka is going to announce himself in a big way in the 2014-2015 season.

Koepka should already be a household name in the US, but because of 

, Koepka, along with fellow future star Peter Uihlein, opted to take their talents across the pond to play the European Tour rather than making the regular web.com tour stops in Boise, Idaho, Westlake, Ohio, and Newburgh, Indiana. After winning four events on the Challenge Tour, Koepka played 10 events on the European Tour, which included three top-10’s on top of a top-5 finish at the U.S. Open. He also had a T-3 finish in the Frys.com Open last year, and he’s going to win it this year.

This is Koepka’s middle finger to Finchem

Coming off a Ryder Cup disaster (queue Tom Watson pointing at the 

Ryder Cup teams to pass the blame onto two disasters that were even worse), we’re ready for some fresh faced Americans to cut some doglegs and show some girth on the tour this year. Unlike his 2014 season that forced him to rely on sponsor’s exemptions, Koepka has the luxury of a PGA Tour card, an exemption to the Masters, and anonymity when it comes to the casual fan for the 2014-2015 season. He’s currently ranked 64th in the world, and a few good results can get him a coveted top-50 world ranking spot, which gets him into basically any tournament in the world.

NLU staked our claim in Brooksville a long time ago, and we’re not going anywhere any time soon. If you thought we were obnoxious about Horschel’s FedEx Cup run, just wait until Koepka wins this year. I don’t have much more to say other than this admittedly brief post. And get ready to see this all over the PGA Tour this year:

Brooks Koepka: YOTTO Candidate

I’m venting here, so I apologize if this is largely negative. And while it’s certainly not the NLU party line, it should be a pretty representative sample of where the four of us stand after Day 1. Enough foreplay, let’s get to it:

Patrick Reed is a divisive figure in my neck of the woods (Atlanta) and I’ve always heard nothing but negatives about him from friends who played with or against him in college. My colleague Fil’s been beating the Patrick Reed drum since March and shouting Paul Revere style that the guy is a killer – I was finally convinced about a month ago, and now I’m evangelizing the unwashed masses. He’s good for this team and he’s good for the Tour. I don’t even care how he plays from here on out – the US needs like six more of him. He’s raw, he cares, and most importantly, he knows how to channel his emotion/rage onto the course. Bravo, Patrick. And as much as everyone is jumping all over Watson for sitting him and Spieth (absolutely, he made the wrong choice), those two are now the poster-children for something I thought was bullshit until now: 

 (Adam Scott kept mentioning it over and over again as an excuse for not playing often earlier this year and I thought it was such a cop-out.) Tom is (inadvertently) feeding the beast here. Patrick Reed should be kept in a cage tonight next to the first tee.

The sheer number of commercials on the telecast was staggering. Golf Channel needs to figure out a way to leverage one of these Euro voices to lead the telecast. I’ll be searching for the Sirius feed tomorrow to augment the images on my television. I wish that weren’t the case, but it is. Terry Gannon (a guy I actually really love for 2nd tier TOUR events) + Dan Hicks (don’t love him unless he’s paired up with Rowdy Gaines) = low-wattage schlock unbecoming of an international spectacle. On the flip side, Judge Reinhold errrr Rich Lerner runs a tight ship on the pre and post-game.

I’ve been a vocal critic of Matt Kuchar over the last year, frequently dogging him for lacking a killer instinct and underproducing in the wins column despite an otherworldly number of top-ten finishes over the last few years (this year’s Texas Swing was a prime example, before he threw a bit of egg on my face when he holed out on #18 for the win at Heritage the night after we recorded NLU podcast #1 and I went at him hard). My common refrain is that he lacked “pop.” His game is consistent and well-balanced, but he’s always faded on the biggest stages and I posited . The time has come for him to prove it. He lacked pop today. Kuch was vaporized (Stanley Goodspeed-style) in Sunday Singles in ’10 & ’12 when the chips down. Hell, he’s 0-2 in Sunday Singles in the President’s Cup, too. I’m tired of hearing how great he is on the ping-pong table in the team room. Grab your sack and get in the game.

Dubuisson continues to surprise and delight.

As “Mr. Deez” is my perception of Webb, go ahead and cue this up while I douse myself in kerosene and self-immolate before riffing

…Unfortunately, Webb Simpson is exactly who the hell we thought he was (and I say this knowing that Webb is a great guy). After shanking his opening tee shot (ya hate to see it!), he proceeded to pucker so badly that there’s absolutely no way he should be seen in public before Sunday morning. Ostensibly, he was chosen for the team because he’s one of the few (the proud) who can tolerate Bubba. He puckered in ’12 against Poulter setting the whole Sunday debacle in motion. He’s 0-1-1 in President’s Cup Singles. 0-1 in Walker Cup Singles. His FedEx Cup Playoffs performance hinted at really lackluster form (finished over par in 3/4 events). And yet he was chosen for this because he pairs well with Bubba. What a cop-out. To put it in perspective, none of the commentators even mentioned him as a disappointment today in the wrap-ups, the expectations were that low. The blood is on your hands, Tom – you could’ve hired ZJ to babysit Bubba. Unfortunately, the fears we’ve been expounding on for weeks came true today. 

Hopefully, here’s what happens to Webb in a couple hours.

For 2k16 let’s eject the stale taste pervading this team: Mahan/ZJ/Webb/Furyk/Kuchar, you’re outta here! BillyHo/Koepka/English/Woodland (it’s time to step up, Harris and Gary), welcome to the fold. These four added to a core of young returnees in Spieth, Fowler, Reed, DJ, Keegan, and augmented with Lefty, Bubba, and someone like Walker. Thinking about the what-if’s is just starting to piss me off at this point. It’s not just about the talent, it’s about the ATTITUDE.

Looking ahead, very excited for the four-ball matchups:

Definitely not betting against Rose/Stenson in the first match.

Donaldson/Westwood vs. Furyk/Mahan is a huge litmus test for the US squad, IMO, and I think Hunter and Jim answer the bell and get it done (although Donaldson’s game is TIGHT).

Bjorn/Kaymer vs. Reed/Spieth pairing is efficient calm juxtaposed with competitive lunacy. I’d pair Kaymer with Stenson in the afternoon and see what that yields.

In the last match, I think there’s a strong chance that Rory comes out firing on all cylinders, bad intentions in tow. Poulter will only fuel that. I’m giddy to see if Fowler and Walker can match.

Sunday Singles is the holy grail for me, if you can’t tell. It’s when you either slay the dragon, or lack pop and fade into the ether. Some singles matches I’m craving for Sunday – GMac vs. Jimmy Walker (both classy & rock solid), Spieth vs. Dubuisson (don’t quite know why), Serg vs. Bubba (obvi), and the main event: Reed vs. Rory (Pat would be geeked out of his mind, and would either get put in his place or would slay the dragon. Great theatre either way). Obviously all conjecture, but it’s fun to dream.

Can these two please hang out all day??? Hell, can they just be the captains for 2016?

Here’s hoping that tomorrow yields more Monty (8 time Ryder Cup participant; thoughtful, nuanced analyst; custard enthusiast) and less Johnny (two time participant; worn-out blowhard; Johnny Miller enthusiast), the US figuring out how to survive alternate shot, a Sean Connery appearance, and more of this guy on the left….

Ryder Cup: Day One-Hitters

NPR asked me to come on and discuss us crazy people that got up in the middle of the night to watch the Ryder Cup, and to discuss the Bingo contest. It’s brief, but I managed to sneak in a streaker mention.

https://ia601401.us.archive.org/27/items/nolayingup_gmail_NPR/NPR.wav

NLU's NPR Visit

We eschewed a traditional preview for the chance to lay down some quick and dirty thoughts/predictions before the Ryder Cup begins on Friday:

The overarching narrative coming into this event (and deservedly so) is Team Europe’s recent dominance. Winners in 4 of the last 5 (and 7 of the last 9) events, what do you attribute this to, and is it cyclical or systemic?

 First reaction was systemic, in that the culture of EuroTour golf promotes camaraderie and cooperation inherent in group play, but then I looked at recent results and the American team results have been pretty solid overall. It’s actually the individual record that sticks out. So I’ll posit that it’s a mix of both. Golf (and sports in general) are inherently cyclical. Sorry to cop-out on this one.

: I feel like we’re dealing with such a small sample of actual golf being played that it’s hard to really read into the results this much. When you think about it, we’re talking about three days of golf played every two years. Just look at all the things that had to happen in 2012 for the Europeans to win. The US was up 10-4, and if ANY of these things DON’T happen, the U.S. wins:

Stricker misses his 12 foot birdie on 18 on Saturday to halve the match.

Poulter birdies the last FIVE holes on Saturday to win 1-up (!)

Rory gets a police escort to make his tee time on Sunday

Rose birdies the last two holes (including a 35-footer on 17) to beat Phil 1-up on Sunday

Furyk bogies the last two holes to lose 1-down to Sergio and needs the Heimlich

Stricker bogies 17 and fails to birdie 18 to lose 1-down to Kaymer

Go back to 2010, and if Stewart Cink doesn’t miss two putts inside of six feet in his last four holes, the U.S. wins that Cup as well. (Seriously, that doesn’t get nearly the attention it deserves. He owes Hunter Mahan a muffin basket a week for eternity). Yes, I’m working in the hypothetical, but the last pair of Cups have been as close as physically possible, they just haven’t gone our way.

: I think Soly makes a strong to quite strong point above. Match-play and over the past decade, Ryder Cup Match Play has a very thin margin of victory. It’s important to point out the USA has been extremely competitive in defeat, but also important to note the dramatic fashion in which the USA has collapsed in recent years; the way the snowball rolls back on them. That type of defeat leaves a mark, and for me, it points to Euro dominance being systematic. They have an edge for whatever reason. It could be the outsiders camaraderie or a scrappiness to prove that even though these Euro’s play primarily on North American soil, they want to prove golf talent is far from home-grown in the USA. That is just one jolly theory, but the point is winning becomes a habit. When the pressure builds on Sunday, having that memory of sinking clutch putts and that experience of winning in a tight contests, I think that pays dividends.

: It’s most likely cyclical and I agree with most of Soly’s points above in that small samples can yield misleading motifs. However, it is tough to dismiss 7 of 9 with a wave of the hand. More than anything, I think Team Europe has enjoyed a bit more collective and individual chutzpah of late. Take Ian Poulter–for all that’s been made of his Ryder Cup record (12-3), and rightly so, it’s still hard to understate the tone he helps establish for Team Europe: “I love the fight of it. You get to stare your opponent straight in the face, and sometimes that’s what you need to do.” The guy is a maniac!! I love it! I don’t think it’s coincidence that one of two American wins of late was when Anthony Kim brought this same cocksure attitude to Valhalla in 2008 (when they literally had to rip AK off Sergio in Sunday singles.) In a team competition between the world’s best, the x-factor appears to be who wants it more. Of late, that distinction has been with Team Europe. Here’s hoping Pat Reed, Spieth and Fowler can start to change that.

Which American/European has the most to gain this weekend? The most to lose?

For Amurricans my first thought was Jordan Spieth, but since the overriding expectation is that his temperament and style of play will thrive in this environment, I’ve gotta go with Five-Hour Furyk as my choice. His past performance in this event is tragic, but I think he’s primed for redemption. His form is tight and he’s got that crazy look in his eye! Tom Watson has the most to lose for his uninspired captain’s picks. I don’t really view the European team in the same fashion, as they all hail from different countries and aren’t subject to the same pressure. However, I suppose the newcomers could certainly make a name for themselves. And Westwood could use some success to close out the year.

: I agree on Furyk. No one needs a strong performance worse than he does, considering he’s likely most to blame for the collapse in 2012. I’ll also say Patrick Reed can really turn around public opinion of him if he can conquer Ian Poulter’s soul and forever put an end to the Top-5 jokes. Fowler’s got the most to lose. He’s seen as the leader of this group as far as playing ability due to the incredible run he’s had in the majors this year, but he takes a step backwards if he’s not able to put some points on the board for the U.S. For the Euro’s, I’d say that Poulter has the most to lose, and a rookie like Gallacher or Donaldson has the most to gain. The reason is simply expectations.

 I love the Furyk and Reed calls above, but I have to go with Bubba. Despite Soly’s call that Fowler is the leader of this squad, I’d say the masses on both sides of the pond will look at Gerry Watson Jr. as the face of the USA team, and for this reason, I think he has the most to lose. Let me re-phrase, “Bubba-Golf” has the most to lose if he plays poorly under pressure on foreign soil. Whether it’s a rosary, a moment of silence, or even a slight genuflection as Bubba approaches the first tee, it’s time to #PrayForTedScott people.

For the Euro’s I think Victor Dubuisson has the most to gain with a strong showing this week. Whether it’s a head and shoulders sponsorship (best lettuce in the game right now) or world-wide recognition as a ball-striking savant, Dub-V (it works I swear) has a huge opportunity. After his strong toe-to-toe showing against Jayyyyson Day in the desert earlier this year, we know he has oodles of match-play game.

: I think Spieth has the most to gain. He’s played his way into some big-boy spots on Tour already, but also drawn criticism for his failure to close. I think his overall game is greater than the sum of its parts, which speaks to an ability to grind. If he can have a monster Ryder Cup, perhaps run down a Rory or Poulter in singles, and lead the US to an upset abroad, I think it could be a real springboard going into next year. Could be the key to unlock big, big things for him. On the flip side, I think Furyk has the most to lose. His abysmal Ryder Cup record is already well-documented and a blemish on an otherwise sterling career. If this is his last Ryder Cup, it’ll be his last opportunity to change that narrative. He doesn’t want to forever be remembered as a butt in Ryder Cup futility jokes.

For Team Europe, I think the rookies (Gallacher, Donaldson, and Dubuisson) have the most to gain for reasons mentioned. Of the three, Dubuisson probably the most. With France set to host the 2018 Ryder Cup (which is hilarious in a lot of ways), a strong showing this week can set Vic on a path culminating in leading Team Europe on his home soil in four years. The most to lose is probably Rory, though that’s nitpicking. Whatever happens this week, he’ll still enter next season half-way to a ‘Rory Slam’ and the clear cut World’s #1. A bad week here doesn’t do much of anything to change that, perhaps only giving a potential foe (like Spieth or Fowler) confidence to play with him. (If you think I’m reaching here, you’re right, I am).

The European pairings usually fall along national borders. Given this, which Euro pairings would you like to see that we probably won’t?

Any combination of Serg/DubV/Rory would be megatasty, IMO. The golf would be surpassed only by the staggering amount of talent in that gallery. I also think a Bjorn/Stenson pairing would be too obvious, but the Big Dane and the Big Swede teaming up in a show of Scandinavian solidarity would warm my soul.

 I’d love to see Rose/Poulter take on Keegan/Phil in a heavyweight bout of overconfident swashbucklers. Also, love The Dub-V/Sergio (from Rio) pairing Tron proposes.

: I’m dying to see Donaldson and Gallacher paired against Reed and Walker just to see if they get the “dropped from coverage treatment” in an event where only 16 players are playing at a time.

: Given the legal fun G-Mac and Rory are involved in (or their management teams anyway), that’d be a delicious pairing purely for curiosity’s sake. I’ll also agree Serg and Dub-V paired together would yield splendid amounts of awesome.

If Capt. Watson were offered a deal to be even up going into Sunday singles, would he take it? Would you? If so, talk to me about how you’d order the American lineup, and the matchups you’d hope to see (as both Captain and jingoistic fan).

 Absolutely. I think the strength of this team will be in Sunday singles. I’d lead with Furyk, just to get him out of the gates early, keep him out of his own way, and ensure that a huge putt isn’t resting on his stick. Would throw Bubba out there early. Close it out with Johnson, Fowler, Spieth, Mickelson. Put everyone else somewhere in between. As for dream matchups, I absolutely will be rooting for Sergio on Sunday (Serg, God, Family, Country for me), so him paired against Bubba would be delicious. Rory/Rickie and Spieth/Poulter are other dream matchups.

: For sure he’d take that. I think the order of lineups on Sunday is completely overrated. All of the matches are worth the same points, and I don’t really believe that much in the “momentum” factor of one singles match affecting the others. That may seem blasphemous based on what happened last year, but it’s not like you can predict who certain guys are going to get matched up against. Did I successfully not answer the question?

 I think both coaches would take an even start on Sunday, and what theater it would be. I think it’s time we saw a Ryder Cup that’s a dead heat and not some lopsided comeback. On Sunday Singles, I’d like to see Furyk and P Reed out early with Spieth, Rickie, and Phil closing things out (Phil is the closer here).

: I’d take it, and I agree Capt. Tom would too. I’d order the Americans on Sunday in the following fashion: Spieth, Kuch, Watson, Webb, Mahan, Walker, Furyk, Reed, Keegan, Phil, Fowler, and ZJ. Lead off with competitiveness, hid some questions marks in the middle, and stack closers late. I’d imagine Team Euro would follow a similar line of thinking.

As a fan, there are a couple matchups I’d absolutely salivate over. Spieth/Rory is as good as it gets in my opinion. I also think Poulter/Reed would be fascinating (You’re a top-5 guy, Pat? Let’s see you run down the Euro soul collector). Phil/Sergio would be a a swashbuckling, ballstriking festival. Furyk/Westwood could be a great retirement match. Essentially, I’m most interested in Spieth and Patrick Reed. I want them to draw Euro thoroughbreds. Great acid test for each.

Alright, let’s get to it–winning side and score, please. Also, feel free to throw in individual point predictions if you’d like.

 Trailing heading into the final day, Amurrica vanquishes the continent, 15-13 (there hasn’t been a non-halfpoint final tally since 1992!) on the back of strong singles play from the young and the hung. Wading into point totals would be an ill-advised proposition for me, but I will venture out on a longgggg limb predicting Furyk and Rickie to go undefeated. And once the Ryder Cup is mercilessly wrapped up, we can FINALLY turn our attention 

to a team competition that actually matters

: I placed a bet at 10/1 that Europe would win 15.5-12.5, so I’m sticking with that as my prediction. I just can’t imagine a scenario where the first two days go well enough for them to pull it out Sunday. Anything can happen though (hot take!).

: I think an underdog American team rally’s to win on Sunday. Why? Because that’s what I want to see, and I think too many people have hailed the Euro team too strong setting up a great opportunity for a young USA team to make a splash with help from veteran grinders looking for redemption!

: My head says Europe 15.5 to 12.5, My heart says USA! USA! USA! by the score of 15-13. As far as individual points go, I hope (for his and Tron’s sake) Furyk has a big weekend. If I were placing bets, I’d wager on Spieth (8/1) and Reed (16/1) as top American point scorer, and the Big Swede, Stenson, (6/1) as top Euro point scorer.

If you’d like write your predictions in Internet ink, please do so through the comments–it’ll be awesome to marvel at our collective inaccuracy Sunday evening! Enjoy the action this weekend, and if you’d like, get in on our completely free, no strings-attached 

 for the chance to win a Callaway 1-wood.

Ryder Cup Prognostication

 of Grantland.com organized an auction fantasy draft between myself, 

. Spanning three countries and seven hours of time zones, we were each given $50 to spend however we wanted. Here were the rules:

We followed a specific bidding order, and alternated who opened the bid.

The players were ranked in order of world ranking (Rory first, etc.)

When it was your turn, you either bid on the player available, or you were out for that player. You continue going until you’re the only one left standing at the last price you bid.

You can have as many or as few players as you want.

Wins are worth 3 points, ties are worth 1, and losses are worth -1.

My first takeaway was that this was a lot harder than I thought it would be, and a lot harder than it looks. My strategy was to try to obtain as many players as possible. I think the team that has the most matches played will win this bet. I tried to let the others spend their money, and my hope is I would clean up on the middle market guys, and hopefully get six players. It didn’t work out quite the way that I had planned, but I don’t hate my team. Some reactions:

Shane Ryan better be picking the US to win. He’s got 5 US players. He’s all in on the Phil/Keegan pairing, as well as the Bubba/Webb pairing.

Jim Furyk is a steal at $10 considering the form he’s in, but his Ryder Cup history is iffy at best.

We were running out of the money by the time Ian Poulter came along, so getting him for $11 was a steal.

Stewart took 3 of the first 7 players off the board, and didn’t have enough money to make another pick.

The gchat conversation over which this was held will never be shared, ever.

How would you rank the five teams above given the format? Here are my power rankings:

Ryder Cup Fantasy Draft

We’re absolutely jacked about the Ryder Cup. I’ve been game-planning on how I’m going to tune in on Friday morning at 1:30 AM for about a month now, and we’re here to reward anyone that is getting up insanely early to watch the proceedings this Friday. We present, Ryder Cup Bingo.

 at Callaway, the winner of the bingo game will get a 

. Send an email to nolayingup@gmail.com by 3:00 Eastern on Thursday (please include your twitter handle). We will reply with your bingo card later this week when the list is finalized.

 You must be following @NoLayingUp and @HashtagChad on twitter.

 You must tweet out a picture of your card with us tagged in it once you’ve hit Bingo. 

The first correct bingo card that we get will win the driver.

 Chad will audit the proceedings (verifying that we’re not just randomly selecting one of our buddies as the winner).

 The cards a complete random draw. Some stuff obviously has a higher probably of happening than others, but that’s the fun of the random draw.

 You’re relying on me watching this and determining this with my own eyes. So I suggest timestamping when your bingo boxes get covered, and I can always go back and review (I’ll be recording). Otherwise, I’m going by what I see the first time around.

Here are the following Bingo options. Your card will be randomly generated from these options. We will track and cross these off as they come in, and we will make the final determination on any borderline calls.

Replay of Rickie Fowler at 2010 Ryder Cup

Scoreboard is referred to as “red” or “blue”

Euros referred to as “heavy favourites”

Hunter Mahan 2010 Chip, Patrick Reed’s top 5 comments

Dan Hicks longingly mentions the Olympics or says this has an “Olympic Feel to it”

“Gleneagles is not a traditional links course”

Announcer imagines Tiger watching in some form

The word “swag” or “swagger” is mentioned

(More ideas to be added through the week)

Ryder Cup Bingo Contest

The Tour Championship is unimaginative, anticlimactic, and an inadequate coronation for the PGA Tour season, let alone the FedEx Cup ‘playoffs.’ It’s time for the powers-that-be to seriously rethink the format, freshen things up, and work to make the annual event something we can really get excited about. There’s really no excuse for golf fans to be more captivated by the minor league Web.com playoffs than the FedEx Cup playoffs, yet here I am, again totally underwhelmed by the current iteration of the Tour Championship/FedEx Cup finale and much more interested to see which guys win their Tour card via the Web playoffs.

So what can Finchem and crew do? The easy option would be to make the Tour Championship a one-and-done match-play event (in concert with euthanizing the WGC Match Play) whereby the top-32 guys after the BMW are seeded accordingly and given the opportunity to compete for the $10 million annuity and honor of ‘Tour Champion’ mano-a-mano. The bracket could be engineered to give the top 2, 4, or whatever guys byes and thus reward their season-long excellence. In all, pretty standard-fare stuff to organize and implement by the Tour office, and I think a vast improvement on the status quo.

A more complicated idea would be to rip a page from the FIFA World Cup playbook, get exotic with the Tour Championship, and stage a match-play based event involving both round-robin group play and a knockout style tournament. Here’s how I would construct it:

The leader of the regular season FedEx Cup standings gets a bye into the knockout stage of the Tour Championship and is seeded #1.

The top three players (aside from the regular season leader) in the FedEx Cup standings after the BMW Championship receive byes into the knockout stage and are seeded #2, #3 and #4, respectively.

The next best 16 finishers in the FedEx Cup standings after the BMW Championship qualify for Group Play at the Tour Championship.

One week, Thursday through Wednesday, ideally at a baller West Coast venue (for primetime TV purposes)

Group play is comprised of four randomly drawn groups, each consisting of four players (to be done live Sunday night on Golf Channel following the completion of the BMW).

Group play occurs Thursday through Saturday with contestants playing one 18-hole match each day.

Group winners are decided on total record, advancing to Knockout Play (in the event of a tie, players break the tie on ‘Tiebreaker’ Sunday).

Two-man ties are broken in match-play format on Sunday (already beat the guy? Too bad, beat him again). Three-man ties are broken by stroke play on Sunday.

The 4 group winners advance to Knockout play beginning Monday.

The 4 group play winners are slotted into the knockout bracket based on their respective position in the final FedEx Cup leaderboard so that the #1 seed gets the lowest finisher, #2 seed the second lowest, etc.

Monday is an 18-hole quarterfinal match (airing on Golf Channel in primetime).

Tuesday is an 18-hole semifinal match (again in primetime, and again on Golf Channel).

Wednesday is a 36-hole Final in primetime on NBC.

: Rory McIlroy (regular season FedEx leader)

: John Senden, Jason Day, Russell Henley, and Matt Kuchar

: Jordan Speith, Jimmy Walker, Patrick Reed, and Martin Kaymer

: Rickie Fowler, Sergio Garcia, Cameron Tringale, and Hunter Mahan

: Zach Johnson, Adam Scott, Bill Haas, and Jim Furyk (Group of Death…I think???)

Thursday through Saturday is Group play, with 8 singles matches being contested each day. Sunday is ‘Tiebreaker’ day, where any Group ties are settled and winners declared (if you clinch on Saturday, great, you get a day off).

That’s three, most likely four, highly entertaining, quality days of golf. And this is just Group Play.

Note: I’ve anointed the following Group winners (with their FedEx Cup standing in parentheses): Jason Day (#10), Jordan Spieth (#11), Rickie Fowler (#9) and Adam Scott (#12).

 (Good versus evil, errrrrrr, golf boy versus golf boy)

two American golfers growin’ up in the heartland)

 (This match may be judged on number of GIRs bagged, a true ball-striking celebration)

Tell me you’re not excitedly tuning in Monday night for those matches, let alone the possibilities on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Most importantly, though, the Tour Championship would be transformed from a math-heavy, mostly boring, four-day limp home to a seven-day extravaganza featuring intriguing matches each and every day. No math. No projecting of FedEx positioning Thursday afternoon. We can make brackets and run gambling pools. All in all, this seems like a no-brainer to me. Do it, Finchey!!

If you have better ideas, please share them in the comments below. And if you like the current iteration of the FedEx Cup/Tour Championship please share *that* below too–you’ll be the first person I’ve met who does.

Re-imagining the Tour Championship

This is it. 29 guys vying for $10 million at the home of Bobby Jones. It’s phenomenal irony that such a cash grab takes place on the home track of the greatest amateur ever (not to mention a hell of an engineer). Per usual, I digress, so instead of bringing Stephen Hawking in to explain the FedEx Cup Playoffs algorithm, we’ll just send you over to 

-esque breakdown of the playoff structure. The goal here is to highlight the tournament itself, and with Tron Carter on the ground for the weekend drama, NLU should have some unique (and scalding) takes that build off this preview.

First a brief history digression. East Lake Golf Club is located just East of downtown Atlanta and was the first home of The Atlanta Athletic Club, which commissioned the golf course in 1904. After growing from 7 to 9 to 17 and finally 18 holes under the supervision of Tom Bendelow, the AAC membership brought in Mr. Wolf Donald Ross to bring things up to a championship level right about the time legendary member Bobby Jones entered High School beginning a 5 decade run as a bastion of Southern Aristocracy. But, in 1966, The AAC fled North to Suburbia leaving the East Lake property to fend for itself in inner city Atlanta. 

 highlights it’s fall from 1963 Ryder Cup host to East Lake’s “course two” demolition to make way for The East Lake Meadow housing project aka “Little Vietnam.” Unfortunately for members, these guys were playing through:

Whoa. By 1993, East Lake was in such disrepair, it became a trial run for urban revitalization after the crack epidemic. With a cash infusion from The East Lake Foundation (i.e. Coca-Cola and Atlien Real Estate Mogul Tom Cousins), East Lake enlisted Rees Jones to save the day. The video above does a good job explaining this transformation. Today, East Lake has played host to the Tour Championship since 1998.

 from the Tour website. It demands length off the tee but also places a premium on being on the correct side of the fairway. The par 3 finishing hole is a rarity these days, but it’s a strong hole (MUCH stronger than the one a couple months ago at Greenbrier) and provides a solid theatre for the fans. #6 is one of my favorite holes to watch, if only for the Sully-Sullenberger-style water landings on the long par 3. Overall, a great course to finish the season on, especially after seeing other classic layouts recently (Wyndham, Barclays, BMW).

Again, the video above should give you a sense of the “Vibe” that used to surround East Lake and still gives a pretty accurate feel of most of downtown Atlanta (still trying anything it can to revitalize on the corporate Atlanta dime as families move to the Northern suburbs and the City lets the Braves flee North as well…thanks Kasim Reed). Expect to hear a significant amount of Jeezy (

 is STRONG btw) as you walk from the Turner Field parking lot over to the Tour Championship shuttles. That’s right, there is no parking as the course is boxed in on all sides by low, Zone 6 apartment blocks and new condominiums in East Atlanta.

Writing

#TourSauce: How to Act Like a Tour Pro, Part IV

How to Trash Talk on the Links

Scott Langley: YOTTO Candidate

Brooks Koepka: YOTTO Candidate

Ryder Cup: Day One-Hitters

NLU's NPR Visit

Ryder Cup Prognostication

Ryder Cup Fantasy Draft

Ryder Cup Bingo Contest

Re-imagining the Tour Championship

The Tour Championship Preview

Controversy around Dustin Johnson's $175K Payday

BMW Championship Recap

Deutsche Bank Championship Recap

Tiger Tax Part 1: Assessment

Ryder Cup Grab Bag

The Barclays Recap

The Barclays Preview