Patrick Reed needed almost all of the 7 shot cushion he built up over the first three rounds by firing 63-63-63, as he struggled to a final round 71. His 2 shot win marks the second of his career, as he held off late charges by Ryan Palmer, Zach Johnson, and Justin Leonard. He also withstood a 

Patrick Reed is only 23 years old! The list of current 2 time winners under the age of 23 is a short one: Harris English, Rory McIlory, and Patrick Reed. No other option but to be completely impressed by what he did this week. I don’t care how easy the courses are. Three consecutive 63’s is mind blowing.

this week, his wife is 5 months pregnant. An incredible “coincidence” that his win at the Wyndam Championship was almost exactly 5 months ago? She may be preggers with twins now….

Reed was paired with Tommy Gainey the first 3 rounds. He beat him by 

Birdies were given out like welfare checks (and now it all makes sense: Finchy brought Bill Clinton in to implement elements of his 

Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Act of 1996

 over the next few years). Finishing -20 didn’t even net you a top 10.

The Gary Woodland-Billy Horschel pairing was an intense, tasty treat. It was like a raw 22 oz bone-in strip (Woodland – dense and aggressive) paired with a throaty left bank Bordeaux, maybe a Chateau Margaux (Horschel – equally intense, tannic, but also elegant w/ that Polo deal). Two ball-striker-extraordinaires/NLU favorites.

. Let’s hope this booing thing continues!

I’m pretty sure Holly Sonders thought she was actually playing in the event. She had the crowd waves down, and spent as much time as Lefty does signing autographs and doing interviews after the round.

If the Humana keeps on this path, it’s going to be more of a vehicle for fitness propaganda than a golf tournament. And Bill Clinton spent more time in the booth than Jack Nicklaus does during the Memorial, which says a lot.

, we suggested the following players for your fantasy lineups, or your bets. Here is how they fared:

Field – We suggested this week being as good as any to make a “field” play, and Patrick Reed indeed was part of the “field” pool. Overall it was a mixed bag – we’ll try to rebound this week.

On the 358 par 4 8th on the Palmer Private Course, the group in front cleared the green for Woodland to hit. The hole does not play downhill, and the wind was barely blowing. He flew it pin high. This is everything we stand for.

NLU Oil Spill of the week (brought to you buy BP)

Keep in mind how insanely easy the courses on this tournament are. To shoot 80 on that course and in those conditions was special, as Fil summarized 

The parents are back from their vacation this week and the kids are grounded for throwing a bash while they were gone. Torrey Pines, TPC Scottsdale, Pebble Beach, and Riviera – possibly the best stretch of the entire year. Coincidentally, Zach Johnson announced that he’s taking the next four weeks off. I’ve got no problem with guys taking time off, but to play Hyundai, Sony, and Humana, and then skip Torrey, Phoenix, Pebble, and Riviera is like getting invited to play Augusta but calling it quits after the front nine so you can head to the range and work on your traj. ZJ’s a purveyor of perhaps the most buttery wedge game on tour, as well as an upstanding gentleman, but it’s tough to reconcile the fact that, outside of the majors, he seemingly puts more stock in second and third tier events than some of the cornerstones of the premier non-majors (and while Torrey and Phoenix are definitely bomber tracks, the Pebble rotation and Riviera suit his game well). Not to mention he has 11 top 10’s in his last 14 events!

Also back from hiatus is the CBS broadcast crew, one of the many reasons the next four weeks are so tasty. The production quality is top-flight, the banter is unmatched, and more than anything it feels like an actual telecast instead of a prolonged conversation between “Rog” and “Johnny.”

Check back tomorrow night for a run-down of everything you

Humana Challenge Recap

. The only comment the user left was that his brother-in-law could not afford a Scotty Cameron, so he bought a beat up one and gave it to him for his birthday. You really should check out the step by step pictures that he posted 

Brother-In-Law of the Year - Amazing Scotty Cameron Restoration

With a mere 231 yards into the 18th hole at the Palmer Private Course, Zach Johnson did what he does, which was lay up. This is our nightmare. The crowd (jokingly) threw some boo’s at him, to which he responded that he was in a divot. The Golf Channel zoomed in and Faldo called him out. See video below:

This layup was followed up by Holly Sonders of the Golf Channel going for the green from slightly closer. She didn’t make it over, but at least she tried. Who should be wearing the skirt?

Zach Johnson Showered with Boo&#8217;s For Laying Up from 230

The coolest man in golf pulled off a shot that only a guy who wouldn’t even bother to fix his hair for his 

Going for the par 5 in two (naturally), Couples blocks it way right, but for all we know he was trying to do that. He ricochets it off the lava, off the cart path, down to the hole to 8 feet for eagle. And he of course drained the putt:

Fred Couples Ricochets It Off Lava to 8 Feet

Because NLU’s all about the lifelong pursuit of knowledge, if only for knowledge’s sake.

This is one of many economic fundamentals I consistently can never 

 remember. So if only for my own edification, and perhaps maybe any of you who struggle with this distinction, I present the following example in hopes of finally cementing this shit once and for all (hang with me here):

Let’s say a golfer–what the heck, let’s make him a 

. Our proud Masters champion is getting back into the flow of a new PGA Tour season like any other year; playing an early-season, West Coast 

Now this particular tournament happens to occur on some of the easiest tracks this (or any) professional will encounter all year. Our pro promptly struggles, to put it delicately, in his first round, shooting a 

 on a course that will yield a cumulative scoring average about ten shots lower on the week.

Let’s now discuss this performance using our economic terms, ‘real’ and ‘nominal.’

The rough relationship we will want to always remember is 

 amounts (be they interest rates, wages, values, or golf performances) are expressed without accounting for inflationary influences (i.e. inflation rates), whereas 

 amounts are expressed with inflationary effects factored in.

For our example above, the equation we will apply mirrors that used to calculate real vs. nominal wages.

 performance * (1 + [% Change in Difficulty over Base Course])

So to conclude, in our example we would express the Green-jacket winner’s performance, 

, having applied the necessary, significant increase in course difficulty (based on the relative strength of the courses he will encounter the rest of the season), we can best express our pro’s performance as…


Aerial view of LQCC following Immelman’s round

*Note: Actually doing the math here will produce a ‘real’ golf score, in absolute terms, less than 79. We’ve exercised an artistic license a little bit. If we’d been discussing wages, lower would equal ‘worse.’ Obviously golf performance is not oriented in a similar manner.

Economic Lesson of the Day: Real vs. Nominal

In honor of Webb’s first shank of the year, we dug this video up from the top of the search results for best shanks on YouTube. Make sure you have headphones, Feherty and Peter Kostis reacting is worth the price of admission.

We shouldn’t dog Paula Creamer. She was in the bunker. And she’s a sass.

Big Cat’s Shank is the definition of a Hozzle Rocket…FIRE THE LASER! #ProjectVulcan

The best one has to be Mahan. While our boys in the booth (and Rog out on location) are slobbing his ‘consistent ball striking,’ Mahan promptly fouls one into the first base dugout.

Can you say Hozzle Rocket?

Here at NLU, it is our privilege–nay, it is our mission and duty to share scenes like this:

Hey Johnny, Jack doesn’t care about your 63 at the US Open.

Johnny Miller Served by the Golden Bear

Humana Challenge. Just doesn’t have much ring to it. While it’s certainly understandable that the organizers wanted to inject some new life (and funding) into this event, for many it will always be the Bob Hope Classic. In the years since his passing this tournament has struggled to find it’s footing, so it made sense on a lot of levels to bring Bill Clinton into the fold a few years ago and add some cache to the event. Clinton actually played the event as a SITTING PRESIDENT in 1995 along with Gerald Ford and George Bush version 1.0. (Holy Secret Service nightmare!)

After altering the format from five rounds to four a few years ago (and 

 George Lopez in the process), the Tour is FINALLY abandoning the celebrity format (if you could even call them that – can you imagine being the PR intern tasked with adding some pizzazz to this D-List cast 

?). It was one thing when you had legends like Sinatra, Bing Crosby and Ike Eisenhower teeing it up on a yearly basis, but these days one annual celebrity pro-am is more than enough (no thanks on the six hour rounds and cloying television coverage). However, instead of doing away with the Pro-Am format altogether, Finchy opted to keep the corporate money flowing and allow wealthy white dudes to still buy their way in. We see you working, Boss Man!

It’s really not necessary to do a deep-dive on the courses this week; they’re hilarious resort courses and are the equivalent of setting up a sporting clay’s course in an 

 (which, ironically, these tracks are). Picture the exact opposite of The Open Championship rota and that’s what the Coachella Valley offers – a variety of perfectly manicured tracks in the birthplace of target golf and water-management 

. This year’s trio features two PGA West courses (Palmer Private and Nicklaus Private) and La Quinta Country Club. All three courses are short, have nothing resembling rough, and perfect greens. Birdie bonanza.

Brian Gay’s victory was especially impressive as he defeated not only the 150-man field, but also anyone who cares about fashion, along with organizers’ hopes of a dynamic, young winner.

Last Name does NOT adhere to stereotypes around fashion.

The tragically-dressed short-knocker vanquished two power plants (CH3, Lingmerth) to snatch his fourth career victory, going 25-deep over the four rounds which was pretty much in line with previous years. Notably, the top-20 finishers included young guns Lingmerth, Kokrak, Horschel, Chappell, and Stallings (who played the 18th hole with his hands around his neck, costing himself a spot in the playoff), who all collected well over $100k and relieved some status pressure in the process. Don’t think it’s a coincidence at all each of these guys went on to experience serious success in 2013. In total, four rounds of 62 and seven rounds of 63 were turned in. (It really is a shame two-time champ Phil Mickelson doesn’t at least visit every few years).

So has the switch to a relatively normal format made a difference? Not really, but then again, if the tournament has improved it’ll take a couple years to really manifest. As it stands, five of the top-30 (OWGR) are in the field but the Humana remains the quintessential early-season cash-grab. 150-man field, Web.com style birdie-fest, early season event (again) lacking the heavyweights – you’re gonna see the kids trying to get away with as much as they can before the parents come back next week at Farmers. Doesn’t seem to favor any particular type of player – prior to Gay and Mark Wilson’s victories the last two years, it was won by bombers Billy Haas and Jhonny Vegas.

Basically, all of the par-fives are very reachable on every course. While the other two courses are pretty unremarkable, Palmer Private features a couple of drive-able par-fours and a savory finishing stretch with a Mickey Mouse par-three (love it). It’s just tough to highlight scoring holes when they’re all scoring holes.

ZJ, Keegan, Billy Haas (Member FDIC; plays a shitload of desert golf), Webb, Sneds, and Harris English

Players Providing Us Joy (for various reasons):

 Mike Weir, Kevin Na, Y.E. Yang (he lives!), Steve Jones, Nicolas Colsaerts (why is the ‘Muscle’ not playing the big desert event?), and Chris DiMarco (must’ve paid his way into the Pro-Am)

Gary Woodland (25/1). Runner-up finish here a few years back, primed to break out again. Can out-muscle layout.

Bill Haas (25/1). Great value, quintessential horse for course. Past champ also lost this tourney in a playoff and largely owned it prior to struggling the last two years. Would be surprised if he doesn’t regain form here.

Billy Horschel (30/1). Finished T-10 last year. Came on strong at Hyundai then took last week off to troll fair-weather FSU fans on twitter. This set-up should suit his game. Not overly long, but menaces pins. Think old-school Duval.

Jason Kokrak (50/1). Bomber is charging hard with three top-20’s in four events this year. Collected a top-10 here last year. Is gonna win sooner rather than later.

Pat Perez (60/1). Poster-boy for the NLU lifestyle looked strong last week. Past-champ here is good value. Birdie aficionado.

Kevin Chappell (60/1). UCLA product finished with final round 62 last year.

Luke Guthrie (60/1) & John Peterson (80/1). Couple of ultra-talented youngsters who can go low. Fit the mold of rising talent who can use a strong result this week as a springboard to a big year.

Field (5/2). Lowest odds offered but a decent play considering the easy course set-ups and wide-open nature.

Guarantees: perfect weather; a smattering of cougars in the gallery; some uber-bro’s who made the trip over from L.A.; Golf Channel force-feeding health tips down viewer’s throats (as a condition of the Humana sponsorship) and talking incessantly about how fit Bill Clinton looks. Overall, this is an event caught between a glorious past and a cloudy future. If the tour ever rigs an event, this might be the one. Rickie Fowler is playing this year and a win from him would provide some serious marketing wattage.

I find it curious there are six courses at PGA West and they don’t even play the tourney on the best one. Here’s 

. Would be interesting to see a return to the Stadium course one of these years. I say you replace the Nicklaus Private course with this one and keep Palmer Private and LaQuinta so the players get totally mind-fucked the one round they play on Stadium. Guys are shooting 63’s over at the other two and 73’s at Stadium.

Always felt the Mississippi opposite-field cash-grab event (now the “Sanderson Farms Championship”) was miscast as the Viking Classic (even though Viking Range is based in Missisippi – who knew?). Viking should’ve swooped in to sponsor this event when Chrysler/US taxpayers bailed in 2008 – the celebration of the Viking spirit would’ve been in full force; Tour pro’s pillaging and plundering everything in their sight.

Brace yourself: Johnny Miller shot a final round 63 to win this event in ’76. He’ll probably reference it on multiple occasions during the telecast.

Corey Pavin won this event twice, and as was the case at the Hawaiian Open, attempted to rename it the “

 Open.” Come to think of it, Pavin won the same event twice five different times (Honolulu, Los Angeles, Houston, Colonial, and Milwaukee (RIP)). Pretty remarkable. And he lost Hartford in a playoff twice. Shit, he went to a playoff nine times in his career, going 5-4 with all four losses coming at the hands of an opponent’s birdie. Hat’s off to Corey Pavin (seriously).

 in 1999 to win by one stroke. Take a minute or two today to appreciate that feat. Who’d he beat? The ‘Volcano,’ Steve Pate!

Finally, it’s great to see former champ Peter Jacobsen playing this week. He’ll bring some good mojo.

Humana Challenge Presented By The Slick Willy Foundation

It was 1am (PST) on a Friday night in mid-December. The Thai Golf Championship in full swing, the heart of Silly Season highlighted by vistas of Thai rain forest, Sergio’s sassy caddy, Bubba whining about noises in a non-existent gallery (note: speculation), and Big Swede Stenson on auto-pilot escaping another Nordic winter. While Sergio waggled away a field en route to victory, I serendipitously stumbled upon what’s become my 2014 international YOTTO (if unfamiliar – 

Kiradech Aphibarnrat (pronounced Kear-A-Deck App-E-Ban-Raut).

Where did this seven syllable name climbing the leaderboard come from? After the husky 24 year old made back-to-back birdies, I decided to find out and began with the name.

Before turning pro at 21, Anujit Hirunratanakorn (a devout Buddhist) changed his given Thai name to Kiradech Aphibarnrat (Thai meaning: unknown). A mouthful either way, thankfully he goes by two nicknames (that NLU knows of):

Take one look at Arm and ‘Gut’ may sound more appropriate, but there’s no questioning the perfection of ‘The Big Unit.’ Listed at 5’9″ 229 (yea, in his bra), he very well could embody what the Buddha’s golf swing would look like: a long, loose move reminiscent of NLU hall-of-famer John Daly. And based on Carl Spackler’s spot on analysis of the Dalai Lama’s Game below (remember the Lama is the Buddha reincarnate), the comparison seems fair. Anchored by this tremendous gut, Arm proves Sir Isaac right; mass is neither gained nor lost but transferred into 300+ off the tee.


Aphibarnrat’s lack of PGA Tour experience may prevent us from using the traditional index to evaluate his YOTTO potential in the short term, but looking back over his 2013 season shows Arm may be poised to break out. He gutted out a one-stroke win at the European tour stop in Kuala Lumpur showing no fear of legit competition, and he also won twice on the Asian tour. Pairing a 299.98 average driving distance with tasty wedge work reinforces the comparison to JD (and possibly The Lama) almost as much as the heater hanging from his lips!

Despite the small sample size, NLU remains bullish on ‘The Big Unit’s’ YOTTO potential (

). After the Malaysian Open win in the spring, The Big Unit made the jump across the Pacific, making the cut at both Firestone and The PGA Championship (where he finished tied for 25th). He jumped into the top 100 world golf ranking, continued to bank top 10’s on the Asian tour to finish 59th in the OWGR with over $1.9 million in career prize money, and one of 

I don’t work out a lot. I just try to play good golf. You don’t have to have good body for that’ – 

not too shabby for a kid from rural Northern Thailand.

Yes the Thai Golf Championship was in the heart of Silly season. This is to say the competition and the stakes could have been higher, but Arm’s showing in Mid-December sparked my curiosity. His tempo, length, and demeanor remind me of another Husky European star: Lee Westwood (version 1.0). He’s also a two-time world junior champion, so he’s been no stranger to the podium from an early age, a habit common among champions. But, it’s the interview below that cements Arm’s YOTTO candidacy:


The Big Unit has it all – endearing Broken English (that includes adding an ‘s’ to the end of all singular nouns), Bono tint on the shades, a Titleist sponsorship, and most importantly, he’s totally un-phased by the Golf World smoke-show hosting the interview (her accent alone would have me launching Hozzle Rockets).

In the end, it’s Aphibarnrat himself who sums up why I like him so much — When asked about the strongest part of his game, he replies, ‘I got good driver and a lot confident right now.’

Arm's Race

On behalf of us all here at NLU, I’d like to thank 

 for sharing this video of a man crashing through the roof of a Pro-Shop. It’s made my Monday exponentially better.

‘Hey Ron’ – Could you ask for a better reaction from the pro-shop guy? Guy falls like a sack of bricks. You can even see his dome piece bounce off the floor, and how do these guys react? With about as much emotion as Duffner when he stuffs a wedge to six feet.

And then Billy, tells him not to move. At first, I thought it was because he’s concerned about broken bones. But no, we soon realize, it’s so he can get his camera. Billy, Ron, we salute you.

This may be how Jean Van De Velde felt after Carnoustie in 1999 (Paul Lawrie definitely reminds me of Billy…).

Happy Monday: Man Crashes through Pro-Shop Ceiling

With the 2013-14 season still very much in its infancy, we get the majestic beauty of small-sample results. And what’s more fun than taking said results and pretending to be the next great hero of a Nate Silver book?

From a strictly YOTTO perspective, here’s what we know right now:

Jimmy Walker is absolutely balling out! He’s YOTTOing harder than anybody we’ve ever measured; his current mark of 291 besting Tiger’s 263 from 1999. We’re curious to see how long this dance with history lasts. (Kinda like we’re curious if the Washington Generals can beat the Globetrotters).

 there are four golfers poised to really make significant in-roads into the consciousness of casual golf fans over the course of this season: Jimmy Walker (duh), Harris English (sired by DLIII?), Chris Kirk, and Ryan Moore. These guys are all currently scoring greater than 200 on our Index.

If you’re not down with Kiradech Aphibarnrat (aka ‘The Big Unit’) yet, we’d advise quickly amending that. This heavy hitter plundered the ‘Pacific-Rim Swing’ and now stands poised to unleash his fury on the contiguous 48. He’s currently 11th on the leaderboard despite sparing Hawaii from certain cataclysm. To say we’re rooting for a sustained Kiradech YOTTO would be a ‘massive’ understatement.

Freaking Jerry Kelly made the biggest move at the Sony, improving his mark by 56 points (from -2 to 54) and his ranking by 151 spots (from 175 to 24). That’s what a solo-3rd at this point in the season can do for somebody who banked just two top-10’s all last year (best finish being a solo-5th at Hilton Head–go figure).

Neither DJ nor Webb played this week, failing to guard their outer perimeters from hostile incursion. Each gave up 26 points (DJ from 187 to 161, Webb from 182 to 156). DJ absolutely does not care; Webb is praying for that which was lost (probably).

YOTTO Update (post Sony Open)

Jimmy Walker broke out from a pack of contenders that at one point featured 14 golfers within 2 shots of the lead, and 5 tied for the lead. His bogey free final round of 63 included a final 9 of 30, despite not birdieing the easy par 5 18th hole (his only 5 of the day), as he had on each of the previous 3 days.

Guan Tian-LONG appears to have hit puberty, adding about 15 yards off the tee. He easily MC’d.

John Daly lives! He made the cut on the number, then followed it with 64-70 to finish T32. Good for John.

Chris Kirk is emerging as a legitimate Ryder Cup threat.

Harris English is as good as on the Ryder Cup team.

Let’s also point out that we predicted Jimmy Walker would be on the 2014 Ryder Cup team before he won this thing.

Harris English and Jimmy Walker are playing together today. Would not be shocked to see them as teammates on the Ryder Cup team in September



— No Laying Up (@NoLayingUp) 

Has anyone ever won twice in a Ryder Cup year and not made the America team? I may look into this later this week.

Vijay Singh wanted to play in the Champions Tour event in Hawaii next week, and was denied. #FinchyTrollingHard

We’re hard on Mike Weir, so it’s only fair to give him a shout out for going HAM on the 18th hole on Thursday. When you’re clearly going to MC (had to get one jab in) fear is a relative thing. So why not hit a 3 wood out of the bunker from 235? The fact he attempted the shot was enough to gather our attention. The fact that he stuck it to 3 feet earns him a full-on NLU salute.

Kirk Nelson, son of Craig T. Nelson (let us have this one), made an absolute mess of the 1st hole on Friday. Causing his father to disown him.

Sony Open Recap

Rickie Fowler burst onto the scene in 2010 with his brightly colored clothing (and sophisticated marketing hustle), and quirky, unorthodox swing that hopefully no youths were mimicking. It appears that after a disappointing 2013, Rickie has made some swing changes. As 

, Rickie has been working with Butch Harmon since December. First impression is that the swing changes are very, very good. Whether that translates back to his successful ways is obviously to be seen, but he’s built a foundation for a much more repeatable swing.

Fowler posted the following video on Instagram today:

Out playing with the boys again @thelifeofja @theonlyjchin @david_lipsky #BearCreek #2 #7iron

A video posted by Rickie Fowler (@rickiefowler) on Jan 12, 2014 at 10:51am PST

Before the video even starts to play, you can tell his setup is different than anything we’ve seen from him before, and once he swings, it’s obvious he’s been in the lab doing some work. Here is an example of his swing from Pebble Beach in 2012:

Granted, we’re comparing an a 7 iron vs. what appears to be a 3 wood or hybrid, but the set up change is very evident. Standing much closer to the ball with his hands higher, and in a much more athletic stance.

These images are from slightly different angles, and again, with different sized clubs, but his hands are noticeably higher, and he’s standing much closer to the ball.

This is where you can really see the changes. Rickie was famous for his loopy, rerouted swing, where he took the club way outside, and on his transition, rerouted the club back to the inside. This made it very difficult to get the club on plane, and to get it to a decent position at the top. The new swing shows the club going back on a near perfect plane, with the clubface remaining square rather than shot. Great start.

Another great improvement. Shoulders are turned slightly more, perfect plane with the left arm, and a wrist that matches the left arm, vs. a cup wrist and high position in 2012. He appears to be in a perfect spot to begin the downswing.

With the club in a better position at the top, less “looping” is needed to begin the downswing, and Fowler appears to come directly down the line at the ball, rather than looping the club back to the inside. Again, great position.

In summary, Rickie’s swing changes appear to be textbook, and in my opinion, much needed. I have no clue when he began making these changes, and how far along he is in the process, but what he’s building will likely lead him to much more consistency that he’s had in the past. His previous swing was simply built too much on timing, and too difficult to predict how his body would react to different types of pressure situations. Let’s hope he sticks with the process even if he has some struggles coming out of the gate.

UPDATE: Nick Faldo breaks down the swing changes for Rickie during the Humana:

Rickie Fowler Makes Swing Change

Big shout out to Golf.com for these gems – 

Separated at Birth: Pro Golfers and Their Celebrity Look-Alikes

Some of these comparisons are spot on (Lefty – EMILIO; Faldo – Luke Skywalker), some are ruthlessly spot on (Furyk – Mr. Burns of Simpsons; Louis Oousthuizen – Shrek), and a couple are just freaking spectacular (Nick Watney – Gary Busey!!) Here are a couple snapshots of what’s about to be the highlight of your day:

Golfers and Their Celebrity Doppelgängers

Please don’t ask me how I stumbled upon this today, but it turns out that 

Paulina Gretzky has a “99” tattoo honoring her father

, Wayne Gretzky. No big deal right? I mean, The Great One is the reason she’s famous, and what better way to pay tribute to her father than to have his number “retired” on her body.

Wait… the tattoo is on her bikini line? As if Dustin Johnson, her betrothed, didn’t have enough trouble with the Gretzky intimidation factor. DJ habitually goes nuts at the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am, winning it in 2009 and 2010, and finishing top 7 on two separate occasions. But in 2013, he was paired with The Great One as his amateur partner, and it didn’t go well. DJ self destructed in similar fashion to Happy Gilmore in the 1996 Pepsi Pro-Am.

Johnson shot 73-69-74 to miss the cut, which we immediately attributed to Mr. Gretzky’s presence.

Apparently golfing with your slampiece's dad is intimidating. 

So not only does The Great One’s intimidation factor influence DJ’s golf game, he now has to look at that “99” every time he and Paulina…. Well…. I’m guessing all he thinks when sees that is Wayne cupping his hands saying, “JACKASS!”

Paulina Gretzky Has Tattoo Honoring The Great One In An Odd Location

Thursday January 9, 2014 – Sunday January 12, 2014


Purse: $5,600,000
Winner’s Share: $1,008,000 + You Get Lei’d + A Trophy That Looks Like a Giant Shoehorn
FedEx Cup Points: 500

Watching Zach Johnson and Dustin Johnson play together last week offered a unique glimpse into how differently two Tour players, on opposite ends of the length spectrum, make their way around the same track. Dustin was outpacing his long-lost Johnson brother by 80 to 100 yards at a time off the tee, only to often find himself putting first once on the green. The difference between Kapalua’s Plantation Course and Waialae Country Club, the site of this weeks’ Sony Open, mimics the difference between the “brothers” Johnson’s respective games. Ironically, Zach emerged victorious on a course one would think better suited for DJ.

Kapalua’s wide fairways, severe elevation changes, and relatively modern design are nowhere to be found on Waialae’s classic Seth Raynor layout, which plays to a modest (at least by Tour standards) 7,088 yards. A refreshing change from the “bomb & gouge” tracks so prevalent throughout the year, the premium is instead on accuracy and being able to flight the ball through the trade winds. By all accounts Tour players seem to enjoy this course and the consensus suggests it’s an underrated track (although that could be skewed with the players sampled being, by and large, those who enjoy and/or are well-suited to this type of test; surely the bomber contingent has a different view and thus quite a few stay away).

At No Laying Up, our first glance at any scorecard is to answer two questions: 1) How gettable are the par-5’s? and 2) Are there any even remotely reachable par-4’s? Judging by this standard, Waialae disappoints as it features just two par-5’s and only one par-4 that is close to the realm of being gettable (#10 plays downwind 350 yards but the green is well-guarded). This disappointment is quickly washed away by the fact it’s unlikely ANYONE in the field will be forced to lay up on either par-5 – they’re the easiest set of par-5’s on Tour (#9 is 510 yards – that’s a long par-4). Interestingly, #1 and #13 were formerly par-5’s until John Huston waged war on the bird sanctuary here back in ’98 (causing them to Huston-proof the course – more on that later).

These days, the first hole is one of the most bossy opening holes on Tour, a 488 yard par-4 incorporating elements of the road hole at St. Andrews – it’s a STRONG start. May we suggest PGATour.com put a live feed of this hole for the week and and dub it, “The Snuff Film?” Overall, not a typical No Laying Up style track, but there is fun to be had. It just all comes down to how hard the wind blows.

A walk over to the range belies the real problem at Waialae – it’s only 250 yards deep, an affront to range rats everywhere. It’s shocking that Vijay even bothers to show up for this event – do you know how much time he is forced to spend with his family because the range just isn’t adequate?!? A few years back they finally hung nets from the palm trees but that’s a losing battle (talk to the BigCat about the nets Augusta used to have before they went HAM on the new practice facility, much to the membership’s chagrin. Dude used to revel in spraying bombs over the nets onto Washington Road).

Russell Henley burst onto the scene birdieing the final five holes to win his first PGA Tour event and establish the second-lowest 72-hole scoring mark in Tour history with a -24, 256. Henley basically had the most insane putting week on the PGA Tour last year, with a ridiculous 3.042 strokes gained putting, meaning he picked up 12 shots versus the field on the greens alone! Combine that kind of magic-wand waving with his best ball-striking week of the year (83% GIR), and it’s one tasty recipe for cashing winner’s checks. Oh yeah, dude played the par-4’s in an incredible 17-under par.

The Sony Open is the first event in 2014 to feature a 

, which kinda gives the feel of this week being Caddie Day at the Bushwood Country Club pool following the posh exclusivity of the Hyundai. Even so, there are still several top names playing this week, as well as some NLU favorites.

: Adam Scott, Jordan Spieth, Zach Johnson, Matt Kuchar, Jason Dufner

NLU Comedic Favorites (aka Bushwood caddies):

 John Daly, Mike Weir, Frank Lickliter II, Guan Tianglang, Paul Goydos

Chucky Triple Sticks: (20/1). His finishes the last 9 years are as follows (most recent listed first): T3, T2, T68, T5, 4, T69, T2, T53, T3. Enough said.

Tim Clark: (20/1). He’s finished 2nd in his last two appearances here, and in the top 25 his only two other appearances.

Jimmy Walker: (30/1). The last full-field winner on tour (hello reach-around schedule!) has to be riding a nice wave of confidence in here (pun most definitely intended). Waialae seems to suit him – lot of made cuts and a few top-20 finishes here.

Sabo: (50/1) Is good value this week. He’s got a good track record here (multiple runner-up finishes and slew of top-30’s) and seems to have his game trending in the right direction with a nice showing at Mayakoba and strong end to 2013. The risk of Sabo not having his head screwed on straight is a little easier to stomach with 50/1 value.

DubP: (100/1) Pat Perez has a great record here and gained some early-season momentum on the reach-around schedule. Strong early-season player.

Chris Stroud (60/1), Roberto Castro (60/1), Chris Kirk (25/1)

Think standard, nondescript early 1990’s event – pretty much a bunch of retired white men milling about, relatively sparsely attended (under 50,000). Bottom-line: the Tommy Bahama clique will be out in full force, with the Golf Channel schwaldo’s following suit. Golf Channel will play up the Hawaiian vibe with music, surfer backgrounds and Waikiki Beach jokes. Even if you don’t like golf, just tune in for a televised respite from the shitty weather that’s making you SAD right now. Overall, there’s some good stuff going on here but it’s too basic to be overly hilarious.

With a Japanese title sponsor and a well-known rep as a Japanese tourist destination, this tourney holds some allure in the Far-Eastern golf sphere. Seeing only two Asians (Aoki & Choi), therefore, among a relatively impressive list of past champions is somewhat surprising. However, that may change in the coming years as it looks like this event is carving out an increasingly outsized niche in an area of the world where golf is coming on strong. If I’m the tournament organizer, I’m playing this angle up as much as possible (Finchy should be helping) and marketing this as a premier early season Pan-Pacific ball-striking fiesta and cultural celebration.

This year’s field includes eight Japanese, seven Koreans, and two Chinese amateurs (16 year old Liu Yan-Wei finally gives Guan Tianlang a playmate, and an 

 one at that – this isn’t his first rodeo). KJ Choi has menaced this course in the past and Hideki Matsuyama’s primed to get some serious air-time this week (we’ll see if he can figure this course out). Was disappointed to see our boy Aphibarnrat notably absent this week, though, but it’s somewhat understandable. Seeing him navigate these narrow fairways would be akin to seeing Shamu languishing in captivity at SeaWorld; just downright depressing—cant’ put restrictor plates on the big guy. Additionally, we’re curious to see if Ryo Ishikawa can continue his strong reach-around start – his game is starting to show some real promise for the first time in a couple years.

Lastly, look for Briny Baird to assert himself here. His game is similar to that of many of the Japanese players on tour and he wears that dumb PF Chang’s hat so he’s got some Chinese influence as well. Only concern here is whether Briny’s game will be sharp enough; those third-degree burns he suffered on the 18th hole at Sea Island have precluded him from practicing lately. To be honest, he’s lucky to even be out of the St. Simons Regional Hospital burn unit in time for this event.

Little known fact: The 1998 United Airlines Hawaiian Open was won by John Huston. Dude went 28 deep, causing uproar among environmentalists and local homeowners over the sheer number of birds slaughtered during that year’s event. The negative publicity caused United to pull out and Sony signed on, but with a caveat: the membership redesigned the course during the off-season (the next year Jeff Sluman emerged as champion with a heavily toned-down winning score of -9. Coincidence? You be the judge). The Oahu avian population rebounded nicely post 1998 atrocities, for those who are wondering.

This event is essentially the PGA Tour’s spin-off of the popular TLC show “Little People, Big World,” with the illustrious lineage of little ass dudes who have won this event: the aforementioned Sluman, Paul Goydos, Mark Wilson, Corey Pavin (Back-to-back winner, Tom Emansky style! Shortly thereafter he tried to rename it the Rat Family Open), Brad Faxon, David Toms, and Russell Henley among others. It would seem that Tim Clark and Mike Weir are PRIMED to win this thing. How did Ian Woosnam not get an invite?

Finally, and really most importantly, shame on the organizers for refusing to extend a sponsor’s exemption to Tadd Fujikawa. What the hell is that about? If you’re not going to give this guy a spot then don’t have exemptions. I thought it was written into the by-laws that he gets a spot in even numbered years. Hell, in ’12 he rose above mascot status and nabbed a top-20!

As you’ll find out over the course of this year, NLU is BULLISH as hell on Hideki Matsuyama and his Big Sleazy-like tempo (#1 scoring average on Tour last year in the seven US PGA recognized events he played, which is mind boggling because three of those tournaments were majors, one was a WGC, and the other two were on tough old-school tracks (Sedgwick and Glen Abbey.) However, he’s played this event three years in a row and has MC’d proceedings each time. Keep him keister-stashed for another event. (update: he WMD’d due to some back issue).

VIDEO of Sony Open goodness from years past

On our way out we leave you with this – the Waialae logo is EERILY similar to that of Wu Tang Clan (not to be confused with the Charlie Wi Tang Clan). The Wu may have a legitimate copyright infringement beef on their hands.

Sony Open in Hawaii

Murder should never be a light topic. But when wanted fugitive 

Benson Kyle Lloyd of Jasper, GA, was nabbed by police

 in a PGA Superstore range stall, let’s hope he was at least hitting driver. The article from the Woodstock, GA daily paper suggests Lloyd was dumb for showing such a carelessness on a Wednesday afternoon. I disagree. The PGA Superstore seems like a great place to hide out and kill time if you keep a hat on and your head down. Have to wonder how long he was in the store – chances are it was at least two hours- nobody 

 leaves that place in under two hours, it just doesn’t happen.

Judging by the mug shot and cold blooded murder charges, we should all be glad the Cherokee County police are cleaning up the North Georgia area and keeping The PGA Superstore ‘Crack House’ safe for all of us.

“Enjoy the jail cell pal” – couldn’t have said it better ourselves, Webb.

Murder Suspect Caught Pounding Balls in PGA Superstore

Plantation Course at Kapalua – Kapalua, Maui, HI

The Plantation Course at Kapalua is perhaps the most unique golf course that is played on the PGA Tour circuit. While that may sound like praise, it is one of the least popular courses amongst the tour players. In fact, in the tour players voted it as their 

. A golf course was simply not meant to be built on this piece of land. It contains dramatic views of the ocean, drastic elevation changes, and the widest fairways you will ever see. It plays over 7,400 yards, and oddly to a par 73. You’ll see some 400 yard drives, and some 130 yard 6 irons if the winds cooperate. Some of the distances between holes are so large that the players must ride in cars to get from green to tee box.

 This tournament famously consists only of PGA Tour winners from the 2013 season. Considering that, you would think it would be very strong field, but considering that Tiger and Phil skip it on an annual basis, the pool of A-listers within the 30 man field is a bit shallow. The names in this field are sometimes a painful reminder of some of the names who won tournaments in 2013 (Derek Ernst, Woody Austin, Scott Brown). This field is best compared to whatever Callaway’s best golf ball is: It’s good, it’s just that nobody plays it.

Derek Ernst & Woody Austin – How many times have we seen these two duel over the years?

Dustin Johnson won the 2013 event on a Tuesday after 3 days of insane wind and rain delays. The tournament was as bizarre as the course is, with 36 holes played on Monday, and the shortened event concluded on Tuesday with Johnson’s 4 shot win over Steve Stricker.

It’s impossible to pick a breakout candidate for this event considering the criteria for getting into the field, but look for Harris English to have a dramatic outbreak in 2014. He’s already won this season, following his win in Memphis in June. He looks primed for a huge year, and could threaten to make the U.S. Ryder Cup team.

The golf course alone is reason to watch this tournament, especially if you’re stuck in as much snow as I currently am in Chicago. The setting is magnificent, and the style of golf to be played is completely unique. The drives will be monstrous, the winds will blow, and players will be forced to use creativity and feel more than the precision and calculation that you see on typical U.S. PGA Tour courses.

These days with the wrap-around schedule and Golf Channel picking up more and more coverage from warm locales around the glove, it doesn’t stick out quite as much, but it’s still a sore thumb. Getting home from work, it’s dark, shitty outside, and you haven’t touched your sticks in a month and half you flip on the tv and it’s golf porn from Hawaii. It’s shock value. It works. To a large extent, this is what the entire West Coast Swing is about – it’s like an antidepressant for Seasonal Affective Disorder. You flip it on and it warms your soul.

The five years or so after the tournament moved from SoCal to Maui were the golden years. With Mercedes bankrolling the event, it was one of the premier stops on tour and had a certain aura about it. You didn’t hear quite as much bitching about the layout, the resort hadn’t gone through bankruptcy proceedings yet (Lehman Bros. went HAM on renovations in ’07), and year after year the winners were straight-up thoroughbreds: Duval, BigCat, Furyk, Sergio, and Els those first five years in Hawaii. It was all downhill after that: Stu Appleby won three years in a row (’04-’06), Tiger stopped making the trip in ’05, and then the bottom fell out in ’08 when Daniel Chopra won and singlehandedly prompted Mercedes to drop their title sponsorship (just kidding, but that had to be a factor, right?).

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Articles

Humana Challenge Recap

Brother-In-Law of the Year - Amazing Scotty Cameron Restoration

Zach Johnson Showered with Boo&#8217;s For Laying Up from 230

Fred Couples Ricochets It Off Lava to 8 Feet

Economic Lesson of the Day: Real vs. Nominal

Can you say Hozzle Rocket?

Johnny Miller Served by the Golden Bear

Humana Challenge Presented By The Slick Willy Foundation

Arm's Race

Happy Monday: Man Crashes through Pro-Shop Ceiling

YOTTO Update (post Sony Open)

Sony Open Recap

Rickie Fowler Makes Swing Change

Golfers and Their Celebrity Doppelgängers

Paulina Gretzky Has Tattoo Honoring The Great One In An Odd Location

Sony Open in Hawaii

Murder Suspect Caught Pounding Balls in PGA Superstore

Hyundai Tournament of Champions

Zach Johnson Showered with Boo’s For Laying Up from 230