 regarding my recent buddies trip to St. Andrews a few weeks ago, I’m going to do my best to summarize it all here. First of all, let me note that this is not an advertisement, and is in no way sponsored, although it is certainly going to read like Visit Scotland sent this over word by word for me to post. A few of you asked for a breakdown of our trip, the courses, the logistics, and the stories, etc. Hopefully these posts will inspire someone to do a similar trip, and help with some of the planning if so. I’m going to break the trip down in separate posts for the sake of length.

Part I on the Old Course, you can find that here

. Also included in that link are some logistics of how to get on the Old Course, where to stay, as well as advice on planning your trip.

, just 20 minutes down the road from St. Andrews.

, 45 minutes up the coast from St. Andrews.

Founded in 1895, the New Course is as new as Young Tom Morris is young. I admittedly knew nothing about about the course before planning our trip, and just assumed that most people would consider it a dump just because it carried the St. Andrews name, but was not the Old Course. I was pleasantly surprised to read good reviews of the New Course from friends who had played it, as well as other online reviews.

As I noted in Part I, we showed up on a Thursday afternoon with no tee time, and were set up to play the New Course in less than half an hour. It’s worth repeating every time I do one of these posts: the service at St. Andrews is second to none.

At 75 pounds (about $110), the New Course is fairly priced, and just a flat out fun experience. The course itself is not especially memorable, but that doesn’t make it any less enjoyable. If you’re going to take a trip to St. Andrews, I would try to schedule the New Course for your first round, as it serves as a great introduction to Scottish golf. It’s long and it is not difficult, but it’s not short, and it’s not easy.

The fairways are much more narrow than the Old Course, and drives that find the fairway on the fly, and stay there the whole time are greatly rewarded. Missing a fairway by a small margin does not punish you greatly at all, but the distance of your tee ball will be limited. If you miss way off line, there’s a good chance that you find a parallel hole. In our two rounds there, I don’t recall searching for a ball for longer than 30 seconds without it being found.

The bunkers are exactly how you would picture the bunkers on a Scotland golf course. Sometimes there are odd bunkers 30-50 yards from the green, and when you look at the design of a hole, they look kind of pointless. Then you realize that sometimes you need to land the ball that short of the green for it to stop on the surface, and then all of a sudden those bunkers are in play.

I don’t know how else to describe it, other than to say the course is just really fun. We enjoyed it so much, that we teed it up again there the following day. Here are pictures from the two rounds at the New Course:

Scott getting introduced to Scotland bunkers

Similar to what we had heard about Carnoustie, the overwhelming consensus on the Jubilee course is that it is impossible. Again, similarly to Carnoustie, we did not find that to be the case. It’s more challenging than the New Course, but more similar to the New Course than it is different. The fairways are a little more narrow, and the punishment off the tee is more severe, but it’s still a fun and fair test, and another must play if you’re staying in the St. Andrews region.

Here is as good of a place to mention the pace of play in Scotland as anywhere else, as it was almost comical what happened to us at Jubilee. Let me again emphasize that the staff at all of the courses could not be more friendly, but they police pace of play out there as if there is a missile strike on the way if we were not sticking to pace of play recommendation on the scorecard. However, they could not have been nicer about it. As we came off the ninth green at Jubilee, we were greeted by a ranger, which went something like this:

“Good morning gentlemen, how are we today?”

“Yes it is, you lads got quite lucky with the weather! Where else are you playing this week?”

“Well that’s great lads. Hey I noticed you guys are about a hole behind the group in front of you, if you don’t mind picking up the pace a wee bit, it would be greatly appreciated. But most importantly, enjoy your round.”

I checked my phone, and we had made it around the front as a foursome without caddies in 1:49. Sure, we fell behind the 

 in front of us, but I didn’t have the heart to debate our pace of play, as he honestly was more concerned with us enjoying our round than he was the pace of play. Even when they’re giving you a kick in the ass, they are basically giving it a tap. So nice, the Scots!

Here are some pictures from Jubilee. As always, let me know if you have any questions about either course:

Scott with the town of St. Andrews in the distance

Click here for Part V on Crail (Balcomie)

Scotland Golf Trip, Part IV: St. Andrews New Course & Jubilee

Sang-moon Bae, the 29 year old 92nd ranked player in the world, is turning in his PGA Tour card for his mandatory military service for his native country of South Korea. But not if Patrick Reed and the gang has anything to say about it. You’re the movie exec, and here is our pitch. As with all Hollywood productions, some historical liberties 

North Korea and South Korea have quietly been at war since 1950, and despite a relative stalemate for decades, the South Korean government requires all males to serve in the military for 21 months. Although exceptions have been made in the past, it does not appear that PGA Tour regular Sang-moon Bae is going to be given this luxury. Lawyer after lawyer hired, petition after petition written, but there is no wiggle room in the Republic’s eternal fight against Kim Jong-un. But that wasn’t going to stop one hero from trying.

Former U.S. Air Force colonel Barry “Squeeks” McCown (played by Clint Eastwood) was shot down over Incheon during the Korean War in the 1950’s, and spent years as a prisoner before escaping in 1953. Several years later, he would discover that he was sold out by a member of the ROK, as his flight plan was distributed to the enemy by a supposed ally.

Squeeks, an avid golf fan, is dreading the upcoming 2015 Presidents Cup, held in the same city he was shot down over during the war. To him, Incheon represents nothing but great failure in his life, as his mission failed, he was betrayed by his ally, and the U.S. was not able to leave the Republic with the victory trophy. At peace with the rest of his life, his family, and his career, this was only thing that still burned him up inside. He wanted revenge on his supposed ally, South Korea.

During his capture, Squeeks taught himself Korean. After his military service, his law career in the U.S. prospered before retiring in the 1990’s. But after hearing Bae’s story, the retired lawyer who had nothing on his hands but time spent the summer of 2015 digging into South Korean law, trying to save the young stud from a seemingly senseless obligation. What he found was an ancient and remote exception clause related to the required military service (translated from Korean):

“An exception can be made if the potential candidate can administer pride, grandeur, or splendor to the Republic of Korea through literature, musical composition, journalism, or athletic prowess prior to required service.”

Squeeks was able to track down Bae, and triumphantly pointed the South Korean government to adhere to this long forgotten clause. The wise and aged Squeeks was able to serve as both a mentor, and a legal advisor to Bae during that summer, and a friendship developed between the two. After a month long delay, the ROK was unable to poke a hole in Squeeks’ case, and provided Bae with his much desired exception…. under one condition:

“To provide the Republic of Korea with pride, grandeur, or splendor, the International team must win the 2015 Presidents Cup.”

The world becomes familiarized with the current situation, and it was clear that the stakes of the Presidents Cup had never been higher. The viewership numbers doubled (twenty people tuned in, compared to a previous record of ten). Several American players (particularly Patrick Reed) have developed friendships with Bae during this time on the PGA Tour, and while they want nothing more than to help Bae get out of his service, the thought of being the subject of a month’s worth of Golf.com think pieces wondering “WHAT IS WRONG WITH TEAM USA” was enough for them to still put forth their highest level of effort, rather than to throw the Presidents Cup to save Bae.

As fate would have it, the entire Cup, and Bae’s future, comes down to the final hole, with Bae squaring off with Bill Haas for his freedom. We know what happens next.

The team USA celebration is short-lived, as a South Korean military helicopter descends upon the 18th green, and immediately takes Bae into custody. Patrick Reed has seen enough, and charges at the helicopter with all of his might, only to be held back by his teammates.

“This ain’t right,” Reed exclaims, after finally calming down.

“It’s not,” Mickelson adds, “but we will avenge this. You have my word.”

Squeeks was there inside the ropes with Team Bae, and watching the young man taken into custody gave him flash backs of a similar capture in this same city sixty years earlier. Another failed mission. He hears Mickelson’s promise to Reed, and interjects.

“I’ve done all I can to help the kid. This is in your hands now.”

We flash forward several months, with two shadowy figures smoking cigars on the 18th green on Turnberry. The sky is gray and the Scotland twilight is approaching. We can’t see their faces.

“This is where you pissed it away Tom,” says one of the figures. “This is where American stopped. Being. Great. When you hit that putt like a 47 percenter, thinking someone should just *give* you par, it turned us into a nation of cowards. No other way to frame it. Obama took office the same year.”

The camera pans back to reveal our shadowy figures. It’s Donald Trump, talking to Tom Watson.

“You know Don, Obama was already president when I missed that putt. And an American actually won that Open,” says Watson. “Stewart Cink.”

“Stewart Cink? Sounds Israeli and Asian to me, Tom. I refuse to concede that name belongs to an American. Stewart is the name of my accountant, or someone from Canada, at best. I just want America to be great again. We need a gesture people can believe in again, Tom. A Saving Private Ryan thing, or something of that ilk.”

The two men are quiet for a moment. In the distance, they can just barely make out the silhouette of Paul Lawrie, wandering the grounds with another chubby Scottish single mum, regaling her with tales of 1999.

“Well, What if we got that Moon Bae kid out of his military service?” Watson says. “He seems like a nice young man who would never stab his captain in the back and then run over his captain’s crumpled body with his Gulfstream. I could text Webb and put together an extraction team.”

“Tom, I like your idea but you’re out. You’re not the man for this mission. You’re old and weak and you’re too nice. I have someone else in mind. ”

We cut to the Mickelson’s private practice green in San Diego, California. Mickelson is wearing flip flops, holding a glass of red wine and wearing a “Make America Great Again” Callaway visor. A large crowd of PGA players is milling around the pool, and Amy is roller skating effortlessly through the party with a tray of drinks, looking radiant and flashing her cheerleader grin.

Eventually, Mickelson stands on a chair and asks for everyone’s attention.

“Folks, I’m sure you’re all curious why I asked you here. It wasn’t just to catch up after a long season, and it wasn’t just to make a few wagers, although if you’re into that, I believe there is a WNBA game on in about an hour we could probably run a little action on. No, the reason I called you here is I want to put together a team to do the impossible.”

“Win you a US Open?” shouts Tiger, as he immediately looks around the room for approval.

“Good one, buddy,” Mickelson says. “Try not to yip your drink all over my wife. No, in truth, I want us to break Sang Moon Bae out of the South Korean military. I know a guy who can help fund us, and I believe this needs to happen. My sources say he’s in a bad situation. This is a good kid, a Callaway kid I love like a son, and no one understands what that means more than golfers. That’s why we need to get him out. We put together a team of the best America has, and we make it happen. I’ll be flying the chopper because I read a book on how to fly. Maybe it’s like hitting a flop shot off a cart path to a downhill pin guarded by water. It sounds nuts, but I’ll take those odds.”

“I think you and Tiger should go alone,” says Hal Sutton, nursing a Coors Light. “We owe it to history.”

“I appreciate that Hal, but Steiny just informed me that Tiger just had back surgery two hours ago,” Mickelson says.

“Doctors say they can’t believe how fast I’m recovering,” Tiger says. “They’ve never seen someone do power cleans with 315 pounds just 20 minutes after a second microdiscectomy. But I think I need to be cautious and sit this one out.”

“Unfortunately, I’m out too,” says Dustin Johnson. “Jet ski accident.”

Johnson shrugs. “It’s what my agent says I have to tell people.”

“I have so much charity work I need to do,” Bubba Watson says. “Plus I don’t like the food over there. I wish you guys luck, but I’m out as well. Can I send Ted in my place?”

“What if we put our youngest and best players into pods?” says Paul Azinger. “They train, eat, sleep and fight together, and in the heat of battle, you know who has your back.”

“I love that idea, Paul,” Mickelson says. “Patrick, Jordan, Rickie, we need you to lead us. You’re the future of American golf.”

“I’ll take my wife Justine, and Joe Flacco in my pod,” Reed says. “Only elite motherfuckers with big fat rings in my crew.”

Flacco, unsure why he’d been invited up to that point, shrugs, then nods.

“I’ll take Brooks Koepka and also my good friend Justin Thomas,” Spieth says, then turns to Michael Greller. “Mike, it was a tough call between you and Brooks, but I’ll have you on the com the entire time.”

“Give me Billy Horschel and Tony Finau,” Rickie Fowler says. “We’re going to be wearing pastel camos, kicking ass and taking names.”

“Wow man, thank you,” Finau says. “I can’t believe I made this team.”

Fowler gives him a fist bump. “Of course man. If we’re going to be carrying explosives, figured we need a true #BombThreat,” Folwer says. “Plus, if you think I was going to be the only non-Caucasian dude on this mission, you’re crazy. This ain’t the damn 1990 PGA Championship at Shoal Creek, bro.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t get picked,” Keegan Bradley mumbles to Jason Dufner as people are high fiving around the pool. “How could Phil do that to me?”

“Yeah, it sucks bro,” Dufner says. “But to be honest, on a mission like that, you can’t be backing off, waggling around, twitching and mumbling to yourself for 10 minutes. You see a shot, you can’t hesitate. It’s not our time, man.”

Mickelson taps a 64 degree wedge against his wine glass, quelling the noise of the party.

“Ok, we’ve got ourselves a team. Now let’s go snatch somebody’s Bae,” he says.

Bae is pictured in a montage, breaking open old range balls for eight hours a day with a rusty Mack Daddy wedge. As the night approaches, he is sent back to his cage, where the scene ends with him daydreaming about his PGA Tour days while sitting quietly in the darkness of his 3×6 cell.

Bae is still wide awake, laying on his back, practicing his club twirl, when a window slowly creaks open.

“Who’s there!?” he nervously calls out into the blackness.

After a brief silence, Bae hears the sound he’s been waiting to hear for so long.

Reed leads Bae out the window, where he rejoins the elite American team of SEALS (Secret Emancipating Asian Liberation Squad) that parachuted onto the military base. Bae quickly sees the familiar faces of Spieth, Koepka, Thomas, Fowler, Finau, and Joe Flacco, and is comforted knowing he is in the company of such an elite group.

The faint sound of a helicopter appears on the horizon, and as the sound approaches, Reed shouts into Bae’s ear:

“He spotted your best team two holes, and he still came back to save your ass.”

Mickelson lowers the chopper to the ground, and the team piles in. Bae is lifted up and seated as Koepka, Spieth, and Thomas secure the area. The squad is almost ready to move out, when there is noise heard from inside where Bae was previously being held. Spieth is too close to the chopper to hear the noise, but Thomas hears it. Out comes a screaming security guard with a 3 iron that was extracted from Bae’s cell which had been sharpened into a knife like blade from Bae slamming balls off concrete. The guard launches the 3 iron in Spieth’s direction, just as the youngster is about to pan in the direction of the officer. Thomas sees the whole thing, and takes off in a dead sprint circa Tiger at the 2000 PGA, and dives in front of the airborne 3-iron, taking it directly to the chest.

Koepka mows down the security officer immediately, despite this somehow being his first time ever in South Korea. Spieth is in shock. He holds Thomas in his arms, as life quickly vanishes from his eyes.

“I will never forget you giving your life for mine, Jordan Spieth’s Good Buddy,” Spieth says as he runs his hands over Thomas’ face, closing his lifeless eyes.

Koepka pulls Spieth into the helicopter, and as they’re taking off, Reed pulls the pin on a grenade (Phil gives the thumbs up on the notion of pulling a pin), and cocks his arm to throw it and blow up the whole scene below.

“Patrick!” Spieth screams above the blades of the chopper, “They’re our allies. We just disagree on mandatory military service!”

Reed pauses for a second, then turns and looks at Spieth.

“I’ve got enough friends,” Reed shouts, flipping the grenade over his shoulder, never turning around to watch the massive explosion on the ground below.

The Escape from Pyeontaek

 regarding my recent buddies trip to St. Andrews a few weeks ago, I’m going to do my best to summarize it all here. First of all, let me note that this is not an advertisement, and is in no way sponsored, although it is certainly going to read like Visit Scotland sent this over word by word for me to post. A few of you asked for a breakdown of our trip, the courses, the logistics, and the stories, etc. Hopefully these posts will inspire someone to do a similar trip, and help with some of the planning if so. I’m going to try to break the trip down in separate posts for the sake of length.

. Also included in that link are some logistics of how to get on the Old Course, where to stay, as well as advice on planning your trip. 

, just 20 minutes down the road from St. Andrews. This post will focus on Carnoustie (160 pounds, or about $245).

As mentioned in Part I, every conversation in the town of St. Andrews is golf related. It seems to be 70% Americans, and it’s almost a requirement to compare your tee time schedule with the guy sitting next to you. As Carnoustie was the last course on our itinerary, we had four full days of telling fellow travelers that we were finishing 45 minutes up the road to the north. Every single person (including the locals, caddies, servers) replied the exact same way: “Ohhhhh Car-NASTY!”

Hearing this over and over again for the better part of a week really lowered my expectations before our 1:50 Monday afternoon tee time on August 3rd. My game was far from being in good shape, and only managed three scores in the 70’s in our first seven rounds (one of which was on a par 69). I was intimidated before I even put the peg in the ground on the first tee, and it showed.

We made the not-so-scenic (compared to the Kingsbarns drive) 45 minute drive north, and arrived about an hour early to find the most perfect day of weather you could possibly draw up. Strong sunshine, and a howling wind that makes you feel like you’re playing the course in the conditions it was designed to be played in. The first two holes played dead into this ferocious wind, and our group was not prepared for the disaster that ensued. As a foursome, we played these two moderate length par 4’s in 40 minutes and 47 strokes (15 over par). It took 

 before a marshall had to come out and (politely) ask us to pick up the pace.

There was carnage all over the place. I hit a 

 OB with my third shot on the second hole. Leif lost three balls. Scott also went OB on #2. Toomer, a four handicap, was five over through two. Picture what Jean van de Velde did to the 18th hole in 1999, then multiply that by four people, and two holes. The wind was blowing so hard, that we couldn’t even talk to each other until we were on the green together.

We regrouped on the third tee, and had to laugh about what had just happened. We weren’t even mad. It was legitimately hilarious how poorly we played those first two holes. Despite the miserable start, we quickly realized that the course was a lot more fair than we had been lead to believe. What proceeded over the next 16 holes was my favorite round of the entire trip, which was the last thing I was expecting.

The third hole is a short par 4, with a creek that comes into play at about 240. The wind was behind us, and I reached for a three iron to play a little bit of a stinger.

“No, lad. It’s a 6 iron,” my caddie, Ian, (politely) demanded. A 6 iron? Off the tee on a par 4? I can’t say I’ve ever done that. Well I striped that 6 iron, and if I had hit a 5, I would have been wet. Instead my ball rolled out on the firm turf to about 230, leaving a wedge into the green. It turns out, this Ian guy knew what he was talking about.

What ensued over the next 15 holes became the ridicule of my buddies, and Ian and I quickly were labeled as “Phil and Bones” due to how much we would talk through every shot. He was invested in my round, and it was 100 percent genuine. He had me starting the ball on lines I wouldn’t have dreamed of. One instance that sticks out in my mind was on the par 4 fifth, where I had just 160 yards in, and a 9 iron in my hand. He picked a line out a good 30 yards right of the flag, and told me that left was “not an option.” This play seemed overly conservative, but I hit the exact shot I wanted to on the exact line. I watched the wind take it left, then hit the ground, run 15 yards further left that I thought it would, and ended up 12 feet from the cup. I can’t explain how fun shots like these are.

(I realize I’m bordering on rambling about a personal round of golf, which along with fantasy football stories, poker hands, and crossfit, are the stories that absolutely no one wants to listen to. But my overall point was that I had a caddie that transformed my experience on a golf course. If you make it to Carnoustie, request Ian.)

If I was previously bordering on too much of a personal story, I’m going to cross into that territory to finish it. After putting my finger on the eject button with that triple on two, I righted the ship with Ian’s help, and miraculously played the next 11 holes at one over on one of the hardest courses in the world. This thrill ride would soon end.

Following up on the conversation I noted above, every person that had anything to say about the difficulty of Carnoustie inevitably mentioned how tough the finishing four holes are. Luckily for us, we had a favorable and unusual wind, which let us play 15, 16, and 18 downwind. Unfortunately for me, I finally ejected. The black box has still not been located.

On 15, I hit it exactly where Ian told me not to, which was the front left bunker. Two shots to get out, and two putts later, I carded a double. The next hole is a 240 yard par 3, but with the helping wind, I got a 5 iron pin high left, only to three putt it. The 17th played back into the wind, and requires an iron off the tee to what is basically an island fairway. Then a flush 5 iron into the wind, but again, I missed it in the exact spot that Ian told me to avoid, which was left. Another double.

A smoked drive on 18 left me a wedge in that I basically shanked. I played the last four holes in six over to shoot 80, and wanted to vomit in the Barry Burn. Ian was legitimately dejected.

Normally, a finish like that would ruin my day, but I couldn’t help but to smile and laugh at the experience I just had. What an amazing golf course, and what a fantastic test. If I could pick a course to replay out of all the courses we played, it would be Carnoustie.

As always, if you have any questions about anything related to this trip, shoot them my way.

Click here to continue on to Part IV, on St. Andrews New Course and Jubilee

Scotland Golf Trip, Part III: Carnoustie

. Also included in that link are some logistics of how to get on the Old Course, where to stay, as well as advice on planning your trip. This post will focus on Kingsbarns.

From the minute I mentioned that I was going to be going to St. Andrews, anyone who had ever set foot on this part of the Earth immediately demanded: “You HAVE to play Kingsbarns.” Located just 20 minutes down the road on one of the most fabulous pieces of property you’ll ever lay eyes on, no trip to St. Andrews is complete without playing this gem.

As mentioned in Part I, in April 2015, we booked a tee time to play Kingsbarns on July 31 at 9:10 AM. All of the courses that we played in Scotland require you to pay for the tee time when you book it, and Kingsbarns is the most expensive of them all. The 225 pound hit (about $340) hurts when you’re months away from playing it, but it’s a necessity. When we were unexpectedly able to get off the Old Course at 6:30 on that fateful Friday, we were faced with the realization that this meant skipping our 9:10 Kingsbarns time with no guarantee that we could move it. Once the pro shop opened at 8:00, we gave them a call from the Old Course to ask if we could move our tee time back. Without hesitation, they set us up at 2:40 that afternoon. The phone call lasted 50 seconds. When I say that the service in Scotland is first class, I really mean it. They genuinely want you to have the best time of your life.

As far as advice for Kingsbarns, you really don’t need much. As tricky and as complicated as it is to get on the Old Course, it’s as simple as emailing the golf shop about tee times (months in advance) and reserving/paying for your tee time. Oh, and bring your camera.

I’m guessing that the reason a lot of people (particularly Americans) rave about this course is the fact that it is a near perfect blend of Scottish and American golf. It doesn’t 

 you to play “Scottish” golf, yet the elements of links golf are all still present. Golf has been played on this strip of land since 1793, but this layout is very new (opened in 2000). I’m someone that puts a lot of value on views and scenery, so Kyle Phillips’ masterful touch of ensuring that every hole has a view of the sea really tugged at my golf emotions. I would describe Kingsbarns as a poor man’s Pebble Beach, or a rich man’s Bandon Dunes. Above all things, the course is just flat out fun.

The fairways are generous, the greens are absolutely perfect, and everything about the place just screams “pure.” It’s not overly challenging, but it’s certainly not easy. Even without the views, the course itself is fantastic. It may be blasphemous to say, but if you were to strip away the history and the allure of the Old Course, and compare just the golf courses side by side, Kingsbarns is the best course in the area in my opinion.

Although playing the Old Course and Kingsbarns on the same day made it the greatest golf day ever, I almost wish that we would have devoted an entire day to Kingsbarns. It’s that good. St. Andrews is an easy walk, but we were a bit fatigued from the 4 AM wake up call, and the 18 hole walk in the morning, so parts of the round are a bit of a blur in our memories.

Out of our foursome, I was probably the highest on Kingsbarns, and I’m guessing that it has to do something with me playing my best round of the trip. I love a big ballpark that gives you a lot of space to be dumb and wild off the tee, yet still makes you play strategically when it comes to your approaches to the green. One thing I noticed with Scottish golf is that they have more places where you just absolutely cannot miss than a normal American course, meaning the punishment for missing in a particular location is more than a slap on the wrist. This includes short siding yourself, as well as bunkers that are going to make you take your Tylenol PM, and pitch out sideways. This is where the caddies are a great help to you, as they will flat out tell you “left is not an option here,” or “there’s skeletons buried to the right of this green.” Good swing thoughts! These elements are absolutely in play at Kingsbarns.

We took caddies here, although I would say it is not 100% essential here as it was at The Old Course. While there is not an abundance of blind or unclear shots, it is much more hilly, and a more difficult walk, so from the physical aspect, it makes more sense than from a strategic standpoint. My caddie was a former European Tour player (I’ve since forgotten his name), so to hear his stories of playing in the Open Championship during the Duel in the Sun in ’77 were interesting to say the least.

As mentioned above, my play (which you surely don’t care about) at Kingsbarns was the best of the trip, mostly aided by the purity of these greens. I had a 15 footer on 18 to shoot even, which I proceeded to choke 3-putt as the rain started, and left a bit of a vomit taste in my life. But let me be one more person to utter this phrase: 

Leif dialing one up with threatening clouds in the distance

Post round Scotch with a view from the clubhouse with dinner

From the Old Course, to the Jigger Inn, to Kingsbarns, there was only one way to end this day. We were absolutely exhausted after walking over 20 miles on next to no sleep, but we dragged ourselves to the famed 

 for some post-round scotch. This place is like the mecca of 19th holes, situated less than a block from the 18th green at the Old Course. Covering every inch of wall space (as well as the ceiling) are pictures from all eras of famous golfers at the Dunvegan, as well old school pictures of action at St. Andrews. You could spend an hour in this place just looking at the pictures on the wall.

This place is just swimming with Americans from all over, and you will inevitably end up talking to the guys around you, and your conversation will be the exact same no matter which direction you turn:

The wait staff helped us choose a scotch, and good times were had by all. The Dunvegan is a must visit when in the town of St. Andrews, without a doubt.

All that effort spent learning family names is wasted for Jim “Nance”

Click here to continue on to Part III on Carnoustie

Scotland Golf Trip, Part II: Kingsbarns

 regarding my recent buddies trip to St. Andrews a few weeks ago, I’m going to do my best to summarize it all here. First of all, let me note that this is not an advertisement, and is in no way sponsored, although it is certainly going to read like Visit Scotland sent this over word by word for me to post. A few of you asked for a breakdown of our trip, the courses, the logistics, and the stories, etc. Hopefully these posts will inspire someone to do a similar trip, and help with some of the planning if so. I’m going to try to break the trip down in separate posts for the sake of length. This one will focus on arrival into St. Andrews, getting on the Old Course, as well as our experience playing it twice.

Our trip consisted of four bros (my buddies Scott Bishop, Leif Mahler, and Chris Toomer), eight rounds, spread out over five days. We based ourselves at 

, near the Road Hole, and a short 10 minute walk to the first tee at the Old Course. The rate we paid was 750 pounds for five nights, for two rooms, so it was 75 pounds per night per room, or 37.50 per person. This dorm more than got the job done, although the sleeping quarters were a bit tight. It’s a walkable distance to the old town, the bars, restaurants, shops, and of course, the golf. The way I see it, there is no reason to splurge on a room, as if you’re anything like us, you will spend next to no time there.

The hardest part of the trip was picking out the dates. As our foursome was coming from Hawai’i, Chicago, Columbus, and Amsterdam, it was tough to plan flights into Edinburgh to arrive on the same day, much less at the same time. I met up with Scott and toured Edinburgh for the day on a Wednesday, but basically we couldn’t stop talking and thinking about the golf that was ahead. We weren’t booked to play our first round until Friday, but we called an “OMAHA” at the line and picked Leif up at the airport on Thursday morning, and told him we were going straight to St. Andrews without a tee time to see what we could make happen. With our fourth a clean 13 hours away from landing, we picked up our rental car (a must for a Scotland golf trip), and made the hour and ten minute trek to St. Andrews on the wrong side of the road.

We checked into our digs, put on some gear, and strutted over to the Old Course like we owned the place. We couldn’t help but notice how many people were standing around watching players finish on the 18th green, and tee off on the first. This would come into play later.

(Edit: I should mention there are other ways to get on the Old Course rather than just walking up. You can book tee times WAY in advance (I think we’re already past that window for 2016), or you can 

. We struck out all three days on the ballot. Note that the Old Course is closed on Sundays. Also, 

 is a great source for any questions about getting on the Old Course. His advice was what helped us get on.)

The first stop was the Old Course Pavilion to at least inquire about our chances of getting on the Old Course. We knew it was a long shot, but we figured it was worth at least asking, and getting to know some of the staff that we would be relying on to fulfill this lifelong dream of walking these hallowed grounds. The news we got was what we expected: No chance of getting off today. However, we were surprised at the overall response we got:

Starter: “How long are you guys here?”

Starter: “Where else are you guys playing?”

Me: “Kingsbarns tomorrow morning, St. Andrews New Course Saturday afternoon, St. Andrews Jubilee Sunday morning, Crail Sunday afternoon, and Carnoustie Monday afternoon.”

Starter: “OK, if you want to play the Old Course, here’s what you should do. Come tomorrow super early, around 4:30, get your name in, and by the time you get back from Kingsbarns, you’ll be at the top of the priority list.”

Rather than simply turning us away, the starter gave us invaluable advice that would pay off in a big way in the near future. We thanked him, and asked what our chances were of getting off on one of the other courses in the mean time. He told us to head down to the New Course and ask the starter there.

We tentatively approached the starter’s station down the road a bit at the New Course, and were not encouraged by the starter’s initial reaction when we asked what our chances were. He leaned back, looked at the clock, and made a face like he was really uncertain.

Starter: “Hmmm…. I mayyyy be able to get you out, but it’s going to be like, 30 minutes or so.”

We looked around at each other like he was crazy.

“Ummmm that is absolutely no problem.”

30 minutes later, we were playing the New Course. But we’ll save that for another post. You want to hear about the Old Course.

I picked up Toomer late in Edinburgh on Thursday night, and we shut the lights off at the dorm at 12:00, alarms set for 4:00. We sprung out of bed, threw on some jeans and hoodies, and drove the short 4 minute drive to the Old Course to line up. We were beaten by one gentlemen named Kyle from Michigan (it’s alllllll Americans out there), but were proud of being numbers 2-5 in line. About 8 more people were lined up behind us by the time the doors opened at 6, and we were putting our names in at about 6:02. We had accepted the fact that we were all probably going to get split up, and we were fine with that. We were not ready for the news that was about to hit us.

Starter: “This never happens, but you guys aren’t going to believe this. We had a foursome cancel at 6:30, and you guys can play as a foursome if you want it.”

At this point I need to acknowledge that we had prepaid for our 9:10 tee time at Kingsbarns to the tune of 225 pounds, easily the most expensive round of the trip. Their shop didn’t open until 8:00, so we had no idea if we could move the tee time. The staff at St. Andrews ensured us that the Kingsbarns guys would accomodate us, and asked if we could be ready by 6:20 for the 6:30 tee time. Remember we are not dressed for golf. We accepted.

What ensued was the most panicked 14 minutes I’ve ever had in my golfing life. We sprinted…. 

 to the car, past the caddie barn, who was shouting out catcalls to us like we were wearing miniskirts past a construction site. We jumped in the car, and I drove as aggressively as I possibly could have (remember that I’m driving on the opposite side of the road for the second day of my life). We parked the car in front of the dorm, sprinted in, and threw on the first clothes we could find. Three of us made it back to the car by about 6:14. But there is no sign of Leif. We are freaking out. WHERE THE HELL IS LEIF!?

Three excruciating minutes go by. The starting staff couldn’t have been nicer, but they made it very clear that we would not be playing if we weren’t ready by 6:20. Finally, at 6:17, Leif emerges in a dead sweat out of the dorm. He got lost trying to leave the hotel, and honestly contemplated running through a fire exit, which would have sounded the alarm.

Back around the corners we went, screeched up to the tee box, and made it at 6:20 on the nose. Ten minutes later (and only 170 pounds later), we were off at the Old Course.

We had the benefit of being off so early that there was no one around to watch our opening tee shots. But there’s enough going on to for sure make you nervous. The course itself, I did not find all that difficult, but it was very clear from the beginning that you need experience around this course to master it. There’s space on almost every single hole to miss it as far left as you want, but the further left you go, the worse your angle to the flag. Also, I learned the hard way that reaching for the driver on every middle length par 4 is not the solution. The last shot you want off very firm turf is a 60 yard shot over a small valley in front of the green.

I’ve watched a lot of Scotland golf on TV, and still for the life of me did not understand why the game was so different from American golf. Three holes in, and it was pretty easy to figure out. I was tempted to putt the ball from 40-50 yards off the green because there simply just aren’t better options. It’s very difficult to slide a wedge under a ball without the club skipping off the turf, resulting in a blade, or catching a little bit of sod and just laying it over. Over time, I tried to leave myself full shots into the green to avoid this issue (the Old Course was the only course I had problems with the turf).

Caddies, for your first time out, are essential. When you step to a lot of the tee boxes, you have no idea what you’re looking at, and the course is very flat. They’ll give you lines to start on, where to miss, and where not to miss. Everything about golf in Scotland is different, and you’ll need all of the help you can get. At this point I should emphasize just how much fun Scottish golf is. It’s really hard to describe, but the different approach to the game is such a welcome challenge, and as douchy as it sounds, you really can’t understanding it until you play it.

Toomer, fresh off a 12 hour flight across 12 time zones, and off four hours of sleep, rolled out of bed and shot a 77 at the Old Course on his first go around. If you knew Toomer, you would know that the last thing you want to do is give him credit for anything, but this deserves a shoutout. Before his birdie putt on 18, as he was lining it up, he delivered a line to me that will live in infamy:

“May wanna get the camera out. There’s about to be some sauce.”

Some additional sauce was sprayed as well:

Here are some pictures from our first round at the Old Course:

Getting in five minutes of putting before our tee time

Leif trying not to throw up on the first tee

Leif putting around the Road Hole Bunker. Got it down in 2.

After the round, we headed over to the Jigger Inn for a fat, juicy burger and some beers. Much to the chagrin of my buddies, Spencer, a loyal NLU follower, spotted us and said what up. The Jigger Inn is a must visit in St. Andrews, with enough pictures in there to occupy your time for an hour as if it was a museum. You drive over this place with your tee shot on 17, and is a great place for food and beers/scotch after a round.

https://twitter.com/goldenkeith3/status/627074444889075712?lang=en

Day 1 was such a success, that we woke up early on Saturday morning to do the whole thing over again. We had a 2:30 tee time at the New Course, and were hoping to get out on the Old Course in the morning. We lined up at 4:30 again, but this time we discovered we were beaten to the punch by 10 college kids from Ferris State (also loyal NLU followers, I may add) who camped out overnight. The generous staff got us penciled in with two of us going off at 1:10, and the other two off at 1:50. This obviously conflicted with our 2:30 New Course tee time (also prepaid), so they called down to the New Course, and asked if we could move that up to this morning. Two minutes later, we were informed we were going off the New Course at 6:56. Incredible.

We got a chance on Friday to play the course in the quiet morning, but the second go around was quite different. The sun was shining, the birds chirping, and the town was buzzing with patrons strolling around the clubhouse, behind the first tee. as well as right down the middle of the 1st and 18th fairway. Toomer and I elected to play the tips, and with a breeze in our face on the first tee, I reached for the driver this time around. As I mentioned, the first fairway was quite busy with pedestrians, dog walkers, and runners with headphones in, who are completely oblivious to the golf being played. It’s easy to drive over their heads, so I didn’t think much of it as I teed my ball up. As I reached the top of my backswing, the starter (who in his defense, did not know I was swinging), belted out the loudest imaginable “FOOOOOOORE!!!” I panicked, rolled over my drive, and went full Ian Baker-Finch out of bounds left on the widest fairway in the world. In front of hundreds of people. It was horrifying.

We made it through eight holes in the sun, but we saw what was coming on the horizon. What ensued on holes 9-12 was what the caddies called the worst storm of the summer. My umbrella lasted exactly eight yards before ejecting. The rain was coming absolutely sideways, and the wind howled harder than I had ever seen. The 10th was 350 yards, and a dead 

 wind from left to right, and I hit driver 5-iron, and still came up short! I couldn’t even hold the club it was so wet, but there was absolutely no stopping. Three holes later, the sun was shining, and it was like the rain never even happened. Of course our clothes (and our clubs) remained soaked, but we at least got to experience what St. Andrews is like in the worst possible weather. And it was impossible.

I scraped it around, failed to get up and down from the Road Hole bunker for the second consecutive day, but almost drove 18 and managed a birdie to shoot 80. Considering the weather and the wind, I was pretty proud of that. On the other hand, Toomer fell victim to the Road Hole, as it took him four shots to get out on his way to a 10. The only reason I mention this story is what followed. He marched straight to the 18th tee, 

and took the tee box from me after making a ten

After we finished, we got our cameras out and went back a few holes to watch Leif and Scott finish the final two holes. They were like giddy school girls when we saw them in the fairway, having the time of their lives. Leif, a 7-handicap, finished with a 79, and Scott, an 11 handicap, finished with an 86. They were both ecstatic. It was another perfectly amazing day at the Home of Golf, and despite the fact that there are 2,400 words here, it really is hard to put into words.

Looking confused at the starter after going OB

The sun is back out and shining for the Road Hole

The gang crossing the bridge one last time together

The Old Course experience was a 10 out of 10. The fact that I had just watched the pros play this course ten days earlier, and the bleachers were still up from the Open Championship made the experience that much more special, as the course was in a very similar condition as it was for the Open. The entire theme around the whole city is golf, and you can talk about golf with anyone you cross paths with. As much as I had built up St. Andrews in my own head, I could not believe that it could meet the hype, but it somehow exceeded it. As I continue with these posts, you’ll see why I called this the golf trip of a lifetime. If you have any questions you would like answered about the trip, please leave them below. To be continued…

Scotland Golf Trip, Part 1: The Old Course

I’m well aware that I have beaten this topic to death. I’ve bludgeoned it to the point that even PGA Tour pros are sick of me ranting about the Koepka Kalamity:

 should Brooks have made the team? Yes. Are you being a huge nerd about this? Yes.



— Graham DeLaet (@GrahamDeLaet) 

This should have been a clear cut sign that I should tear down the FBI style corkboard I have going in my apartment trying to piece together and understand the conspiracy against Brooks Koepka, but that’s exactly what 

 want. I’m a Brooks Koepka truther to the very core, and I demand answers. This thing goes all the way to the top, and I’m in deep.

Backing up a bit, people have asked me where this obsession comes from. It’s a fair question. Friends and family members are concerned. I’m stopping random Dutch people in the street to explain it to them. The bottom line is that I’m a huge fan of Brooks Koepka’s game, and do not feel that he gets the proper respect he deserves from the TV networks, the media, the PGA Tour, and now, the United States Presidents Cup captain, Jay Haas.

The roots of this maltreatment can be traced back to the new qualifying system for the PGA Tour that requires players to spend a year on the Web.com Tour to obtain their PGA Tour card. In principle, this doesn’t sound like that bad of an idea. Make the young guys prove they can hang with the week in and week out grind of a national tour, learn how to compete, learn the ropes of being a professional, etc. For 99% of aspiring pro golfers, this system makes sense. The exception is that it completely alienates the most important and the most talented budding superstars who have no business spending a year of their life jetsetting to Boise Wichita, Bogota, etc., and should be given a better opportunity to play on the PGA Tour.

The most notable example of a player taking the Battlefield Breakthrough (trademark pending) approach to obtaining Tour membership is of course The Golden Child, Jordan Spieth. Non Tour members can use a maximum of eight sponsor’s exemptions to try to earn special temporary membership to the PGA Tour by obtaining as many FedExCup points as the 150th place finisher from the year before. Eight starts to get as many points as a guy that probably used 25 starts to get those points in the previous year. Not exactly fair, but again, only the cream of the crop are even considering this approach (or have the sponsors exemptions to even get the opportunity). So you need to actually get invited to tournaments, then ball out in the few chances you get. In, out, get, grab, bonk. This is not a new subject that we’re just bringing up now. We were on this as of last May, as even the sponsor’s exemptions are far from a guarantee:

Nothing against Ben Kohles, but we had beef with him getting a sponsor's invite over Brooks Koepka. Kohles shot 79 today. 

Once you earn enough points to obtain special temporary membership, you can accept an unlimited amount of sponsor’s exemptions. This was no problem for guys like Spieth and Koepka to earn, but it’s a big gamble. If you don’t play well enough, you just missed out on potentially eight Web.com starts that you could have used to earn your card that way. But guys like Koepka and Peter Uihlein have been giving Finchem’s system the middle finger, and electing to play full schedules on the European Tour rather than the Web, while flying back and forth across the pond when they’re able to get a sponsor’s exemption. Is this the system that Finchem envisioned? What is the argument for any system that 

 your best young talent to go play overseas instead of at home in the US? How is this good for American golf, or for the PGA Tour?

This may seem like a completely irrelevant rant when it comes to the selection of the US Presidents Cup team, but bear with me. The qualifying system for the US team is at best, extremely flawed:

“The top 10 U.S. players who earn the most official FedExCup points, beginning with the 2013 BMW Championship through the 2015 Deutsche Bank Championship, with points earned in 2015 doubled.”

So not only does the new qualifying system encourage the superstars to take their talents to Europe, you can win every single event on that continent, and not obtain one single qualifying point for your play. There may very well be a good reason as to why this was overlooked, and it may be because the list of people that this effects is one name long: Brooks Koepka. Now let’s look at how the International Team is comprised:

“The top 10 international players (excluding those eligible for the European Ryder Cup team) from the Official World Golf Ranking as the conclusion of the 2015 Deutsche Bank Championship.”

This system factors in a player’s golf from all over the planet. This makes a little more sense, doesn’t it? Now, I understand the Presidents Cup is run by the PGA Tour, so it makes sense that they would use their funny money FedExCup points system to help promote their own product, but honestly, what is the point of using this as your qualifying system? It’s not like players are basing their schedules around what events are going to give them Presidents Cup points (thus would be encouraged to play more PGA Tour events). Why wouldn’t you want to build a team with the best American players by evaluating their results from all over the world? Especially because, you know, 

. If the U.S. used the International system, let’s take a look at how the US team standings are as of October 5:

Isn’t there a huge outlier here? I realize that the cutoff for qualifying was after the Deutsche Bank Championship, but here we are, the week of the Presidents Cup, and the 12th ranked player 

 was deemed to not have done enough to qualify as one of the best 13 players to represent the USA in the Presidents Cup. Of the 24 players that will be playing this week, Brooks Koepka is ranked higher in the OWGR than 7 American players on the team, and 11 of the 12 International players.

But fret not about the flawed system! There is a safety net for these players that fall through the unfair and unjust points scheme. Jay Haas gets two captain’s picks! He used those to choose his son, and a guy that has three top 10’s this year. But fear not! Jim Furyk is injured, so he gets one more chance to wrong this transgression! He of course used this opportunity to take the truck that he ran over Brooks Koepka with a few weeks ago, put it in reverse, and run him back over him to make sure he’s really dead. Haas selected J.B. Holmes.

Of course I bitched about this on twitter, and the responses I got as to this tweet were hysterical:

“Not included in these stats is that Holmes was part of last winning Ryder Cup team. Brooks is great but JB experience is nice.”

As was discussed when Haas made the Phil pick, the experience quota for this team has been met. Chris Kirk is the only player on this team that has not been on a Presidents Cup or Ryder Cup team. Also, you know how J.B. Holmes made it on that ’08 Ryder Cup team? Yeah, he was a rookie, who was selected as a Captain’s Pick. Also, what the hell does experience even mean in this event? Do we forget that easily how much Walker, Spieth, and Reed balled out at the Ryder Cup last year?

“It’s for the best. Brooks might bomb one over the 38th parallel and spark the Second Korean War.”

On the surface, the JB pick over Koepka isn’t 

 outrageous (for now, I’m going to ignore the fact that J.B. has exactly zero top 10’s in majors in his career, and that BK has three of them within the last six majors). But the 12th ranked player in the world not being selected as one of the 13 best Americans absolutely is. For me, this isn’t about the Presidents Cup. I really, really, 

Writing

Scotland Golf Trip, Part IV: St. Andrews New Course & Jubilee

The Escape from Pyeontaek

Scotland Golf Trip, Part III: Carnoustie

Scotland Golf Trip, Part II: Kingsbarns

Scotland Golf Trip, Part 1: The Old Course

The Koepka Kalamity

A Narrative Has Infected the Solheim Cup

2015 Deutsche Bank Championship Preview

Patrick Rodgers won't be in the FedExCup Playoffs...Why?

Brooks Koepka and the Presidents Cup

Wyndham Championship Preview

RBC Canadian Open Preview

A Beginner's Guide to The Barbasol Championship

2015 British Open Preview

2015 John Deere Classic Preview

2015 Greenbrier Classic Preview

2015 Travelers Championship Preview

Birdies for the Brave Recap