It’s draft day. Here’s a look at who’s in the PGA Pigskin Team War Room. In case you missed last year’s squad, check out:

 – Clad in an oversized visor and baggy polo, the HBC has the air of a CEO and exudes the confidence necessary to lead this band of warriors. Never gets too high or too low, Couples is in it for the long grind of the season. He stays out of the weeds of playcalling, opting to focus strictly on dialing up ballsy fakes, working officials, and wooing the media. He’s the face of the program, and a recruiting heavyweight. Definite concerns persist about his philosophies on practice so he’ll need some taskmasters under him to light the candle.

Offensive Coordinator/Quarterbacks Coach – Jason Dufner

 – The Duff’s love of Auburn football is inescapable. A master strategist on the course, this approach to the golf game will translate well. Personnel oriented play-caller, expect him to establish a downhill rushing attack with Woodland and sprinkle in well-placed play-action and WR screens to free up DJ and Sergio in the vertical passing game (our GM demands that we get real vertical). He shows zero emotion with the headset on up in the booth, the kind of coach players hate to ‘disappoint.’ Head Ball Coach may struggle to match competing offers in the offseason. Have to acknowledge that concerns exist as to whether our QB1 FIGJAM Mickelson is too stationary for Dufner’s style, based on his 

 and other mobile signalcallers. #DecidedSchematicAdvantage.

 – Stew plays golf about as defensively as anyone possibly could, making him a subject matter expert. Knowledgable football fan who has watched enough Georgia Tech football to know what NOT to do on defense. With the right staff around him and an emphasis on consistent preparation can capitalize on opponent’s mistakes (see: British open win) and pushes the envelope just enough to get inside foes’ heads (see: Heritage Classic victory over Ted Purdy).

Offensive Assistant Coach – Vijay Singh

 – The Big Fijian is a student, a utility guy who’s a plug and play on the staff and can coach up the intricacies of the O-Line. He’s the definition of a Grinder (

), and he’s not scared to fight the odds (see pending lawsuit with Finchy). This type of outspoken leadership in the locker-room is exactly what we need, he’s not afraid to be the bad guy. Definite candidate to assist with the strength and conditioning program (more on that later) and provide our guys acces to the proper “

Defensive Assistant Coach – Jerry Pate

The Volcano” is a welcome addition to the staff, known for his intensity and volatility and serves as a nice counterbalance to Coach BoomBoom. These traits will come in handy when working the Zebras and motivating The Corps if they’re sluggish in practice. Pate’s also an Alabama alum and will no doubt lean on the philosophies of Crimson Tide Head Coach “The Nicktator” for his defensive schemes.

Even the Volcano has to cool off sometimes

 – The FunkMan holds a degree in law enforcement (huge asset for dealing with any miscreants on the roster), boasts six years of collegiate coaching experience, and even boxed for awhile growing up. Special teams is all about making the most of what you’ve got and turning it into a consistent product – that’s what Fred Funk’s career’s been about. No doubt he’ll excel in chumming it up with the rest of the staff, as well.

 – He’s essentially a graduate assistant that nobody wants around but everyone has to put up with because his dad (Ping) contributes heavily to the program. His wet-blanket personality is put to good use as the ball spotter in practice and the “

” during games – that guy who’s always killing the sideline vibe but gets the full wrath of the HBC when The Zebras issue the inevitable sideline warning. Coach Bubba is also tasked with setting up the water station at practice and doing bed checks during road games.

Strength and Conditioning Coach – Stevie Williams

 – The guy pisses intensity each morning, eats his own dog food (he’s a specimen), and is a proven motivator of champions. He ensures the ‘moxy’ stays high during team workouts and has no problem going toe to toe with a yoked-out Woodland or Westwood in the off-season. And no cameras will be allowed in the weight room. Ever.

– The Shark is looking to add a professional sports franchise to his ever-expanding empire – could there be a more obvious choice than this team? He’s intimidating, polished, wealthy, and well-connected, all traits of a successful owner. The cross-branding opportunities are endless.

 – In a previous life Spurrier played on the PGATour, so the Shark takes a flier on the OBC and makes GodFather offer that includes lifetime exemptions into the Pebble Pro-Am. Spurrier’s gonna lean on Duf to pitch the ball around and hang half-a-hundred. His primary responsibility will be buying the groceries and making sure this thing runs like a well-oiled machine. 

, he’s also well-qualified to help out with the physio program.

 – Not afraid to take risks, as evidenced by his steadfast refusal to balance a check book and pay income taxes. This should translate well when it comes to avoiding the luxury tax and structuring trades. He’ll help Spurrier take the restrictor plates off this franchise and pump some extra capital into the operation. Gains immediate respect of players when mistaken for Olympic Champion Jim Thorpe (1.0). Felony rap sheet a concern – Spurrier had to pull some strings with the commissioner to make the hire, but as Thorpe always says, ‘YOU GOT TO BE BOLD BABY!!!!’

– Padraig’s background as an accountant will be pay huge dividends in this role, as he’ll have his work cut out for him keeping our CFO in check. We needed a strong guy in this spot and Padraig does just that (added bonus that he’s also our kicker, so that saves us some money). Padraig also brings his good buddy 

 into the fold (but firmly in the shadows) for all sorts of “side projects.”

When he’s not congratulating players via twitter, he’s scolding others on their eating habits. If you’ve ever heard him speak (or been within a football field of him), he’ll remind you that he does 1,000 sit-ups a day and can still drive it 400 yards at his age of 90 (might be slight exaggerations). Regardless, this is the guy we want setting the nutrition regimen and nursing these guys back to health. Mr. Player is also an expert on all things travel related and runs the logistics of the operation.

Head Groundskeeper – Louis Oosthuizen 

– Louie cares more about his turf than anyone on tour, so this is a natural choice. We’ll buy him the big boy tractor and let him do his thing, no questions asked.

No Laying Up PGA Pigskin Team -Coaching Staff

It’s game time patrons. You’ve read The Masters previews, made your picks, and finished up the work week. It’s time to join NLU and our friends over at 

 for an ongoing Masters dialogue. Join the Live Chat, a virtual 19th hole where pretty much anything tangible and relevant goes. It’s time to get involved folks.

The Masters Interactive Blog

It had been rumored for years, so it hardly came as a shock 

 in Dublin, Ohio was closing after the 2014 season. While there is a very small chance that the course could still be purchased by the city and remain as is, I would say the closing and subsequent housing development is several years overdue. Sentimentally, I can’t believe that the place I spent so much of my childhood at, and the place where I learned the game, will cease to exist at this time next year. While the vast majority of you reading this likely have never heard of this course, I’m sure there is a similar place where a lot of your early golf memories are housed.

The reasons for the closing of Riviera Country Club are clear. Dublin is an continuously growing suburb of Columbus, Ohio, and of course plays host to the Memorial Tournament every year at nearby Muirfield Village Golf Club. When the club was built in 1970, Dublin had a population of less than 1,000 people. It’s now home to a population of greater than 40,000, with 3 high schools, a new development popping up every year, and more country clubs than fingers on your hands (holy white flight!). Seriously just look at the image below (Riviera is the course in the bottom left corner).

From a birds eye view, there looks to be more golf course than residential acreage. Remember that NONE of these courses were there when the Riv was built in 1970! An entire suburbia developed around it, and the track is now bordered by a middle school to the north, a high school to the southwest, another country club to the east, and houses everywhere in between. The course is so close to Muirfield Village that the club rents out its parking lot to paying customers during the Memorial tournament every year. Bottom line is…. the bottom line: the course is not making money anymore.

The course was founded by the American Italian Golf Association. Growing up playing the course, and later working in the bag room, the stories and legends of the past days of the club seemed to grow year by year, ranging from the alleged shootout in the parking lot in the 1970’s, to exaggerated betting numbers for some of the membership’s highest stakes players. To this day I have zero understanding as to why a course called “Riviera” was built in the middle of a bunch of cornfields (

: see below for answer). Over the course of my 10 years killing time at the club, I think at some point every member with a last name that ended with a vowel had been rumored to have some sort of tie to the mob (OK, maybe that’s why). Judging by the items I found left in golf carts over my 5 years working there, there is no doubt in my mind there was dirty money flowing through that place on a near daily basis. The rap sheet on some of these guys was long enough that even as a 17 year-old I knew not to ask questions, and as a guy working for tips, I quickly learned that some of these guys would be my best tippers. While the closure affects me and saddens me, the members and founders of the club are the ones that are truly feeling it. Long time member Dominic Guglielmi added the following:

“I have memories going back to being a little kid and going to the Christmas parties they had. My parents had their wedding reception there, and my grandpa literally helped build the course. He remembers building the sand traps on the right side of #8 near #7 tee, and every time I hit it there, I blame him. I could go on and on. There are so many memories.”

“I plan on being there at the course right up to the last day they are open. I don’t know if I can watch them take bulldozers to it though. It would be pretty emotional.”

When my family joined the course in the early 2000’s (for what seemed like a great deal at the time), I was ecstatic. My best friend Frankie was also a member at the club, and we would spend the next half-decade getting dropped off at 9 am and getting picked up after the sun went down. Hours were spent ruining the turf at the driving range, making the range picker’s life miserable, distracting actual paying members, admiring the older kids that could bomb it past us, and dreaming of the day we’d be able to pipe a driver over the hill at the back of the range that sure seemed a lot further away back then than it does now. Seemingly every day we’d be trying something new we had seen on the Golf Channel, tinkering our swings, and wishing we could buy the gadgets from the Golf Channel infomercials (you can hit an Adams Tight Lies off the cart path!). We’d walk at least 18 holes, eat some quesadillas, and either head out for more golf, play more games on the range, take a bucket of balls to the chipping green, have an 18-hole putting match, or watch golf in the clubhouse. I literally could not approximate how many rounds of golf I played at this course with Frankie.

I also have incredible memories playing evening golf with my dad there. We would take a cart out and get in as many holes as we could, often completing 9 holes in about an hour fifteen if we had the course to ourselves. I would try to show off that I was good enough to play the black tees now, and would bore my dad with the hole-by-hole details of my round from earlier that day. With the wind down, and the sun setting, my fondest golf memories were learning the game from my dad during those hours. The course was so peaceful, and the game felt so simple during those times, and to a 15 year-old kid, there wasn’t a single worry in the world. We’d often end the nights playing the dramatic par-3 9th hole, over water, in the complete dark, which required absolute silence after hitting the ball to listen for either the thud of the ball hitting the green, or the splash of the watery grave in front.

The course itself is really nothing special. It’s built on the flattest piece of land you’ll ever see, all 18 holes sandwiched into a pretty small piece of real estate. Not short, but not exceptionally long ethier. Some really 

 (the 12th hole is a 220 yard par-3 that remains the only hole on the course that I’ve never birdied). I can safely say that I have memories from every single hole. The sprinklers coming on behind the 4th green and destroying my dad as he prepared to chip. Frankie taking a cart out to the 16th hole to meet my dad and I on one of our evening 9’s, and on his first swing sticking a 6-iron to 2 inches (and Frankie subsequently hitting 6-iron on that hole every single time regardless of the wind or the distance). Driving the green on the 1st hole from 370 (that no one believes to this date). Constantly choking on the 18th hole in my quest to finally break 80. Playing for free with some of the NLU crew back in our college days after spending the day at the Memorial drinking and betting on the hill adjacent to the 12th green.

While the course itself wouldn’t wow an outsider, to me, it will always be my home course. My passion for the game was born here, and I can honestly say that this place helped shape my life. I went from a spoiled member of the club with no concept of money or the real world, playing unlimited rounds and hitting an unlimited amount of range balls, to working in the bag room and learning the values of a work ethic, client service, and saving money. The days spent on the clock in the bag room are almost equally as memorable. I remember working 20-hour days during the club championship (sleeping in my car for 4 hours in between), and betting on my favorite members with other employees. Getting called up to “The Big Show” (Tuesday night Men’s League) was a rite of passage, and the hardest shift to get assigned to, as that’s where the biggest tips came (I’ll never forget the first and only $100 tip I got). Anyone who was anyone played on Tuesday Night’s, and the “organized” prize money had to pale in comparison to the side pots. Mondays meant the course was closed, and open for employees to play. It was the norm to zoom around three times in about eight hours, stopping after 27 holes to change into a fresh cart. A heated putting competition broke out on the concrete in the cart barn during the down times, which always ended with us trying to act busy when a rogue member came in wondering where his clubs were.

I knew every member’s name (well, every member that was a good tipper). If you took care of me, I took care of you. There were certain guys who were consistent, and you knew who they were. Then there were the wild cards, who may stiff you on Wednesday, then drop a $20 spot on you on Friday (likely contingent on how much they won or lost that day). When I was a freshman in college, I got my wisdom teeth taken out, and my gums got infected. I had to come home and have emergency surgery on the night of the 2004 presidential election, and my surgeon happened to be one of my favorite members, and (not coincidentally) the best tipper. He laughed when I tried to slip him a $20 as a joke when I was hopped up on morphine. The days of working for tips taught me a lot about client service, and it influences the way I tip to this day.

The memories of Riviera Country Club will never fade, but it does not sit well with me that the course will no longer be there. Even though I’ve played Riv maybe once a year for the last 5 years since moving away, and I can’t imagine not having this course to go back to when I want to re-live some of the best memories from my childhood. In June I plan to play the course one last time with Frankie for old time’s sake and see if I can get that birdie at number 12 that’s eluded me all these years before it, and the rest of Riviera, disappear into history.

It’s been a year and a half since this post. The club did not open in 2015, and the property is left to drift into oblivion before the bulldozers come in and turn it into housing. I sent my wonderful mother out on assignment on her bike to photograph the course as it stands today, in September of 2015. I can recognize the holes from the pictures you took, but you likely won’t be able to tell that there was a golf course here with decades of memories. It’s hard to put into words the gut feeling I get when looking at these photos, but I figured they were worth sharing. RIP, Riviera.

The 18th hole, from the tee, September 2015

Saying Goodbye to My Childhood Golf Course

Previous installments (you’ll want to read before continuing):

We’ve already taught you 30 ways to mimic you’re favorite tour pros, but we’re not close to being done. For some of these, you’re going to have to enlist the help of your playing partner in your 2 on 2 match. Ironically, he’ll be acting as your caddie, even though you’re the one doing the heavy lifting, carrying the team.

You’ve gotten your range sesh in with your alignment sticks, and you’ve done the tee drill on the putting green that has 3 holes cut, making it impossible for the other 50 plebeians to get any practice putts in. Your staff bag is latched onto the cart, and your ProV1’s are marked up. It’s time for #TourSauce Part III:

You’re on the tee for your 2:00 starting time (of course you’ve got a late tee time, you’re on the top of the leaderboard). You’re playing your local muni for approximately the 368th time, but you need to consult with your yardage book just to make sure that greenside bunker 412 yards away isn’t in your reach. You don’t actually even have to have a real yardage book, just use your scorecard. Make sure you wait until it’s your turn so everyone can see just how calculated you are with your approach.

This is an easy one. You’ve struck your 8 iron towards the center of the green, maybe five yards right of the flag. But you’re a tour pro, so you think that you can direct the ball with a simple lean to the left. Don’t be afraid to throw in some color by talking to the ball. Any of the following will do: “Bite!”, “Cut!”, “Ugh, JASON!”, “One Yard, ONE YARD!”

Here’s where you’ll need your partner’s help (we’ll call him Joey). Despite your body contortion and your screaming that could be heard at the clubhouse, your 8 iron ended up 15 feet right of the flag. Green in reg, but this is routine for you. Your playing partner has to have your putter ready to pass to you, and you take it in stride on the way to the green while passing your 8 iron. Don’t worry about the cart, Joey’s got that.

Your 15 footer lips out. You make it clear that you are the only person on the planet that has ever had a lip out. Your reaction is similar to what it would be if you found out your entire family was in a horrible accident. However, this is much worse. This is your 

You’re not done with your tantrum. There was likely a defect in the ball that caused that lip out, so chuck it as far as you can so everyone sees just how unusual a missed putt is for you. However, make sure you throw it toward the next tee box so you can retrieve it (ProV1’s ain’t cheap), just make sure no one sees you pick it back up.

You splash out of the greenside bunker. Joey is already in his pocket, so he volunteers to rake the bunker for you to get you moving. After all, you’ve been walking around in the bunker for several minutes studying the best angle to try to approach the green. On your way out of the trap, you “rake” the sand with your feet, which does absolutely nothing.

Again, your playing partner is playing the role as caddie here. You briefly consulted him for your club choice for your approach, but you don’t even pretend to listen to his advice. You proceeded to chunk it in the water, but immediately blame your “caddie”. Make sure he, along with everyone within shouting range, knows that it was his fault you’ve gotta take a drop.

You blade a wedge over the green at the 120 yard par 3 8th hole. It’s not your fault, and you know that, but you need to make it clear that everyone else knows that. You blame the firm turf, for you’re inability to compress the ball, and the extremely firm green that you airmailed completely. “How am I supposed to play on this!?”

You ignored the forecast on the weather channel in the pro shop, and now it’s starting to sprinkle. Your playing group is playing through the drizzle, but you refuse to continue. You place a call to the pro shop and get the assistant pro out to the furthest point on the course to bring you into the clubhouse and keep your clubs dry.

You make it back out on the course, but you need to make it clear that the conditions are basically unplayable. The only way to get the ball out of the slightly damp rough is to contort your body after your chunk. This lets everyone know just how awful your lie was (ignore the fact that you foot wedged it into a perfect flier). The leg kick lets everyone know that you needed super human strength to get the ball out of the first cut of rough. Thankfully you’ve been spending a lot of time with your physio so this is no problem for you.

You hit your drive into the wrong fairway, and there’s a group coming down that fairway. They’re clearly in YOUR way though. Make sure they know that by directing them as if they’re patrons. Throw in a little “We’re trying to play a little golf here” to make sure they know their place as patrons.

You finish your round, but the match is tied. You show a little respect for your playing partner by removing your hat and shaking their hand. Go out of your way to make it awkwardly professional. The key is the hat removal. Toss in a hug to your playing partner as if he’s your caddie.

Bonus: If you beat your buddy with a putt on the 18th hole, go full Payne Stewart “You’re going to be a father”:

In the case that your match ends in a tie, you must give the people what they want, and settle the bet. You summon the club pro, who takes you back to the 18th tee to start the playoff. Your playing partner can ride in a separate cart. Perhaps sneak in some range balls while your buddy is signing his card.

You finish off the playoff victory, and it’s time to make good on a promise you’ve been making all day. You’ve been getting autograph requests in between every hole, and you’ve responded how you always respond: “After the round guys, thanks.” Grab your winning golf ball and throw your signature on it and hand it to the first patron you see.

You were the first group off in the morning potluck game. You fired an 82, but that’s a net 65, and you like your chances to bring home the pot. You wait out the other 5 foursomes with your family over lunch and a whiskey, while watching from the clubhouse window. After you see Frank miss a 5 footer for 6 net 4 on the 18th, you know you’ve taken home the prize. It’s time to celebrate with your partner and your family.

 and let us know when you see some #TourSauce. And when it finally gets warm enough, try some of these with your buddies and send it to us via Vine or YouTube. We’ll gladly retweet our favorites.

How to Act Like a Tour Pro: Part III

In the second installment (read through the Offense 

) of our PGA All-Pigskin scouting report, we head across the line of scrimmage to check out the preseason defensive depth chart highlighting the baddest dudes on tour. The 4-3 scheme features speed and power all over the field, and with the proper tutelage and nutritional oversight this squad could rival a powerhouse outfit like the Oakland Raiders of the last ten years, or at least 

ran a train on their Ivy League opponents

 (Go Lions!!!). As we demand expect our offense to score at will, there’s legitimate concern about the endurance and depth on the defensive side of the ball, so we’ve stockpiled backups at certain positions.

DEFENSIVE END (we want a stable of ‘dogs’ because 

This burly Scandinavian is an absolute bomb threat on the left side. Flashes the ability to dip, rip, replace and run. Can throw guys out of the bar. The 

dark places he’s journeyed to with his golf game

 will only help fuel the monster inside. Measurables are through the roof (he’s a Jay Bilas approved 6’5″) and this Big Swede flashes serious upside. Possesses active hands, but you’d like to see more burst and consistency. Boom/bust potential.

Kuch may look soft and kind, but he’s the grown up version of that quiet, coachable, hard-working high school teammate. All he needs to do is keep contain and hold gaps. The former junior tennis star’s size, steady demeanor, and sneaky athleticism make him perfect opposite the explosive Big Swede. He’s a fiery coach’s project; at practice and in film sessions expect tirades such as, ‘

Hey Kuch, you went to Georgia Tech right? Don’t understand the laws of physics? Get your f***ing ass down, SON! You have to gain depth to get leverage.

Hey Kuch, wipe that f**king smile off your face and quit saying ‘my bad, coach’. And if you can’t do that, I got something else you can help with…you can eat my ass cuz I’m not screaming for my health, SON!

‘ We’d throw Kuchar into the crucible early in two-a-days and watch him sink or swim. We have the feeling he’ll menace gridiron foes just like he’s menaced foes in country club sports.

– The other large Swede has exactly the volatile demeanor and competitive drive (i.e. ‘motor’) to bring it on every play. At 6’1″, he’s longer than many of the NFL’s best and baddest dudes on the d-line (James Harrison and Von Miller both 6 foot), but will still have the pad level to dip and rip on slower tackles (looking at you, De Jonge). One look at the post-round carnage to the locker below, and we see the intensity Big Stense is capable of in the heat of battle.

As evidenced by the role he’ll be filling, English will be working hard on scout-squad honing his craft, in the weight room with our S&C staff (only world-class physios for Team NLU), and with our nutritionist (two words: MASHED POTATOES!!!). May also consider hooking him up with our pharmacist (we’ll announce our pharmacological staff, and other coaching/front-office spots, in 

) to provide the choicest “supps” to aid in the growth process. The frame is there – he’s a legit 6’3″ with a jumbo jet wingspan and the bone structure to load on 45-50 lbs. of lean muscle. The combo of his South Georgia upbringing, SEC roots (UGA product) and his insanely solid mental approach instill confidence that he’ll stay focused on his development. This guy’s work to gain #CertifiedStud status on Tour in such a short time screams value-play and high-upside potential. Like JP Morgan, he’s too damn big to fail.

While this bit player/NLU fringe-favorite hasn’t quite established himself on Tour (

…we hope), that isn’t an issue on the gridiron. The lettuce, the facial landscaping, the pragmatic mindset…he’s the quintessential BIG NASTY. Built like a sequoia, he’ll be tasked with playing assignment football – no freelancing allowed – and taking pride in stopping the run. Great locker room presence.

‘The Tank’ is the A gap plug (sexual innuendo unintentional). He’s a veteran anchor to build around as the former professional weightlifter (squatted over 350 lbs. as a 13 year-old, seriously) plays stout in the trenches with textbook posture, tremendous pad level, and a hilariously low center of gravity. Marginal height and weight hurt his stock a bit, but his lateral quickness and “brick”-like physique should be perfect on early downs and short-yardage situations. May struggle with penetration but will absolutely hold his ground and be active in both gaps. As you’ll see with our LB’s, we can afford to skimp a little bit on size in this spot. Our marketing department is really riding us about growing the game over in Asia – Choi will do wonders for that. Dude’s a rockstar.

The SAM Backer spot begs for a broad, lanky specimen who can set the edge on sweeps, bring the noise on the blitz, and match up with TE’s down field. Scott’s frame, work ethic, and the loose screw every Australian has make him a match made in heaven for this spot. Digging deeper in the film room, expect his lateral quickness and change of direction to be as effortless as his golf swing, and we know he’ll be a gym rat and film disciple under the watchful tutelage of a guy he’s pretty familiar with on our S&C staff. His gait is a bit rigid but we’ll get that straightened out in no time, as our plyometrics program is wayyy too strong.

– An important distinction here is that we’re highlighting a hybrid version of Lee – he’ll need to keep his newly acquired fitness while layering on the excess pounds he carried in the early aughts to pack enough punch as our Mike. This is one where we’re really proud of our scouting department for their willingness to think outside the box, seeing not only the past and present but having the confidence in our staff to mold him into a combination of those. Westwood Version 1.5 is your classic run stopper (a la Brandon Spikes). He’ll probably be a casualty of our need to sub in the nickel package on 3rd down (we’ve got that covered below), but this bowling ball is an absolute necessity on running downs. Lee’s a tough cookie and we respect his grind. His relatively recent move to Florida is a welcome sight (as 

we’ll send him over to nearby Muck City

 to work on his footwork), as is his split with Sean Foley (shows a distaste for godawful hair and haberdashery – we expect our guys to look good on AND off the field). We expect to see a little of this from 1.5 when preseason camp ends:

– A 6’4″ 200 lb corn-fed Willy backer prototype from America’s heartland? Say no more. A bit stiff (lose the plaid collars, bud), but displays the versatility to work in space or in a phone-booth, a load on the blitz. His recent form is shaky but the week-in, week-out consistency he showed from 2009-2012 signifies solid practice habits. Another positive: he’s a man! A negative: he’s forty (actually the Oklahoma State product is 38, but close enough). On an extremely veteran LB corps, he’ll serve as the quiet killer.

– Another young Aussie with something to prove. Anyone who’s seen Jay Day in person knows he’s all girth – an efficient, dense package. There’s a controlled power and swagger to his game on the course that translates well into the mentality required of the lonely, last line of defense. This 

Steve DiMeglio article from 2011 highlights

 that physicality was ingrained in Day at a young age. He admits to ‘

being an alcoholic when [he] was 12 and was a constant combatant in fistfights at school,’ 

until being shipped off to boarding school at 14. Sounds like a free safety to me! We picture his game as similar to that of 

 – lean power, precision, intensity. Back-end sniper.

Tiger wears the same shirt in his ‘office.’

 mentality (a la LaRon Landry). Tiger will prowl the flats and be active in the run game (has always displayed a real penchant for relentlessly plugging holes, both on 

 off the field). Displays phenomenal back-pedal, of course, as Tiger’s a physical specimen. A cool customer under pressure, Big Cat hunts for the Ronnie Lott ‘woo lick.’ Medical red-flags surrounding surgically repaired knee, Achilles, and face (we’re looking at you, Elin!). Concerns abound regarding issues with situational discipline in man coverage, on play-action, and after the whistle (possibly after hours as well). He’s our enforcer and tone-setter- frosty with opponents, fans, and media alike!

Loves to get up in run support, turning the hole into a ‘Kill House.’

– We look to the SEC (Florida, specifically) for our tandem of starting corners. Billy-Ho’s technique is rock solid; fluid hips, swivels extraordinarily well. Just the latest in a long lineage of Gator CB’s – similar to Jannoris Jenkins (minus the 17 kids with 12 different women). Only knock is 

, which we think is overblown (as evidenced below). Mental makeup is even stronger than his physical build, a student of the game – this guy establishes permanent residence in opponents’ heads. Consistent. Focused. Maniacal. Talks all game. Think Richard Sherman. Possesses above average size for a corner. No doubt he’ll look crispy in his uniform. Has proven he can hang with up-tempo offenses, as he’s the Tour’s answer to Chip Kelly on the pace-of-play spectrum.

As promised, another Gator (SEC speed kills) holds down the fort opposite Horschel Island. Our staff will have ZERO apprehension when they decide to play man coverage on the outside. Camilo’s flexibility and footwork are both on-point. Fiery competitor who will help establish a Latin American pipeline. Reads defenses well, decisive, but concerns about ability in run support; may find himself the nail more often than the hammer.

Excellent feet, great hips, reads routes well.

– We tabbed Saabo here as much for his mental skills as his physical traits – opponents typically want to murder him after spending an afternoon squaring off against this grimy competitor. Fits the bill from a physical perspective, though getting on in years now and not a great cover man. Would have to hide him a bit. Not an every-down player but a luxury off the bench. Think De’Angelo Hall.

 Wily vet obviously is throwing tight, happy spirals out of his ass on punts too.

, shows off the excellent footwork you’d expect from a soccer fan. Increased work with his physio should translate into improved hang time on the field. Still want to see more consistency but has shown that his accuracy is solid. Buttery wedge game suggests sneaky-good 

The third and final installment drops next week and will feature a deep-dive into the Coaches, Front Office/Support Staff, Broadcast Crew and some Honorable Mentions who didn’t make the big squad but will be given the chance to get reps on our Scout Team. As always we’re open to suggestions, so share your thoughts in the comments section below or on twitter (

). Is our LB Corps TOO meaty? Did Jason Kokrak’s measurables deserve a slot somewhere? Are there glaring omissions? Is anyone on the squad a total pretender who our scouts totally whiffed on? Let us know!

No Laying Up's PGA Pigskin Team - Defense

The NFL Scouting Combine kicks off this weekend, a perfect occasion to announce our inaugural 

. This multi-part feature comprises our stab at creating a professional football franchise from the athletic smorgasbord of touring golf professionals. Today’s installment outlines our vision for the offensive unit, which we’ve set up to be a pro-style attack marked with a wide variety of personnel groupings. We intend to stretch the field vertically, while also imposing our will at the line of scrimmage.

Dissent and suggestions are absolutely encouraged, but keep in mind that our notes on each player are the result of hundreds of hours spent in the film room grinding on game tape, pouring over hypothetical Wonderlic test results, hushed conversations with NLU confidants (Yes, that includes Gruden, Kiper, and Jaws) and traveling to the “pro-days” we conducted (in our imaginations). And while some positions are obviously a bit harder to fill (the tour ranks are limited in certain physiques and skillsets), we’ve tried to be creative in addressing these need areas (the Lines were particularly challenging, but we will win in the trenches with technique and coaching). Without further ado, let’s go to the NLU War Room!

 – Really no surprise here – the ball must be in the hands of the most gifted player. Ultra-competitiveness is complimented with off-field charisma that is every agent’s “teenage” dream. Mickelson’s 

 persona, sly smile, and experience under pressure combine for a plus-plus make-up calling to mind Kenny “The Snake” Stabler. Projects as a pure pocket passer so statuesque mobility isn’t a huge concern. Large mitts lead to smooth play-action fakes/RB-exchanges and “The Howitzer”hanging from his right shoulder can ignite an offense (contrary to popular belief, he throws righty). Can laser deep out-routes from the five step drop yet possesses fade-ball touch from his more natural shotgun delivery. Coaches will surely work on tightening his load and release as windows shrink and timing is paramount at the next level. What separates Philip from other QB’s in this class is his unflappable, at times irrational, self-confidence and love of the ‘Moment.’ He’s a gunslinger to the core — ceiling is a middle-class version of Brett Favre; floor is Rex Grossman (aka “The Sex Cannon”) — just as capable of snatching victory from the jaws of defeat as defeat from the warm bosom of victory. Off the field, Mickelson is a natural franchise figurehead, at home signing autographs for fans, giving great soundbites to the media, and schmoozing corporate sponsors. Has shown a habit of adding pounds in the offseason, and gunslinger mentality extends beyond the field where his gambling itch will need to be reigned in and monitored lest he become the next 

. Although some GM’s have voiced concerns regarding Phil’s chronic psoriatic arthritis, our team physician maintains that with enough Enbrel this shouldn’t hinder the play or development of NLU’s QB1.

Great arm strength, tight spin. Needs to quicken his release.

 – Let’s be honest, the former college basketball scholar-athlete is built like a brick shit-house and pisses intensity. Squats a ton, military presses the weight room, and based on the amount of “downcock” he has in his swing (and most likely between his legs), I’d take him in an Oklahoma drill during preseason two-a-days over just about any other guy on Tour (except 

 Big Cat). Is best suited for the one-cut yardage between the tackles, and while he’s shown the capability to make the first man miss, is at home running downhill with his pads square to the line-of-scrimmage. Eats up three to four yards at a time and consistently falls forward. Crazy-good posture could be a detriment down the road as he will take a ton of punishment being an upright runner (a la Adrian Peterson). Willing and able blocker, he takes pride in pass-protection which will be a real asset in our pro-style attack as he’s versatile enough to stay on the field on third and long (again, we’re going to be 

 – ‘The Puma’ fits this role perfectly for two reasons. First, his distance off the tee suggests Rickie packs explosive power into his compact frame. Plays bigger than he really is, and couples it with excellent athletic ability and balance (as evidenced by his moto-cross skills). Second, every football team needs that guy with flair, the guy that lives by the ‘look good, play good’ mantra. Expect bright orange spatted cleats, bicep bands, mirorr-tinted visor, and crispy white gloves…in practice and on game-day! Good lateral quickness and reliable hands make him a homeless man’s Warrick Dunn–a one-cut, off-tackle runner and sneaky screen man. Exceptional ball location skills. Downside is his slight frame and lack of muscle definition – not to worry though, our Strength & Conditioning staff has already mapped out a preseason nutrition and weight-lifting program.

 – Broad-shouldered specimen. Basically possesses the frame of a Clydesdale and his 

 suggest a phenomenal football IQ. Projects as an above-average blocker with the versatility to play all over the field. Looks good in a uniform – essential for the modern tight-end, and did you really think his annual pairing at Pebble with the hooded, serial TE-hoarding Bill Belichick was coincidence? The total package – think poor man’s Gronk. Already familiar with the 

 – Now here’s a lanky specimen; high-hipped. Raw and in need of solid positional coaching but with polish can evolve into a serious threat as a “move” tight end. Building the necessary mass is a serious concern in short yardage; footwork will be a struggle – could be big tendency tipper. Stupid-high upside as a cover 2 beater (SEAM ROUTES!). Tweener downside as he may be allergic to in-line blocking and physicality of any sort. Inherent injury risk.

 – DJ really exploded onto our scouts’ radar at the 2010 US Open, where the broadcast team slobbered over his athletic accomplishments at Coastal Carolina (except Johnny Miller – he only slobs himself). The guy is basically a living, breathing example of the Presidential Physical Fitness Award they hand out in high school PE. Great leaping ability combined with tall frame (6’4″) make DJ a nightmare cover for smaller corners. Uses his long arms and massive paws to snatch the ball out of the air, away from his body. Lacks polish as a route-runner and can be a bit slow getting in and out of cuts. He’s a long strider who takes time to accelerate–think Randy Moss–but with more than enough top-line speed to be a constant deep threat. Upside suggests franchise player, all-pro receiver, and all around alpha male. Concerns exist about football IQ and focus under pressure due to REALLY low Wonderlic scores.

Wingspan + athleticism = no-brainer All-Pigskin WR selection

 – Pro frame and natural chemistry with QB1 Mickelson make Keegan the perfect compliment opposite DJ. Really precise route runner with excellent body control, natural comps include Ed McCaffrey and TJ Houshmandzadeh. Underrated athleticism can make him a tougher-than-expected man cover; also has great feel and understanding of zone coverage and sits down in open areas. His best role likely is as third-down safety valve and general security blanket for the QB. Will not shy away from contact and makes tough, physical catches in traffic. Has a passion for the ‘Moment.’ Gamer. Solid chemistry with QB1 and locker room favorite an added bonus.

. Sneaky-quick, tenacious, and mouthy – all three essential for an undersized receiver making his living over the middle. Will need a strong position coach to keep his mercurial personality in check; serious chemistry concerns abound due to a history of locker room beefs and on-field tantrums. Athletically, displays excellent feet and explosive burst off the line of scrimmage. Sinks his hips, puts his foot in the ground, and is in and out of cuts with precision. Projects as a poor man’s Danny “Madulla” Amendola and shares the same fragility. Shows a frustrating lack of concentration for someone so talented; will drop balls he shouldn’t. Home run threat in space, elusive after catch but doesn’t seek contact. Can help out on special teams as a plug and play return man from day 1.

 – The Big Easy has the frame, footwork, and quiet swagger to shoulder front-side responsibilities. A real knee-bender, the former ‘rugger’ isn’t scared to grab grass and get depth to gain leverage in the run game. Also possesses the laid back demeanor needed to forget about giving up 

. Whispers among scouts suggest vulnerability to the bull rush due to height but his phenomenal kick-step and initial punch should keep speed rushers locked out of the pocket.

 – Judging by the move he’s made on the golf ball for years this guy would be an absolute menace pulling inside on trap plays. He’s that grimy veteran, the glue of the O-line and a definite ankle twister on the bottom of the pile. While we expect JD to sneak in a few lung darts in the tunnel during halftime and take up the torch for rookie hazing (think Incognito), this guy will be the heartbeat of our team. Recent weight loss and sobriety raising legitimate red-flags…

 – Baby Walrus is our quiet muscle, the student of the game with pedigree who keeps his head down and plays hard. His tempo on lag putts and ability to read greens will certainly translate into consistent shotgun snaps and quick formation audibles at the LOS. He’s the cerebral anchor on our O-line. Concern among scouts is that he may lack pop at the point of attack and is missing that killer instinct to finish blocks (i.e. took his foot off Bubba’s jugular in Phoenix). Time will tell.

 – Left guard is usually reserved for the least mobile, least experienced, and most stout lineman. Naturally, we think ‘The Big Unit’ fits well here. 

, so we’ll keep his job simple (due to an obvious language barrier) and keep him stationary. Inertia will do the rest. Several suits in our pro personnel department voiced concern over his transition to American food, so we must have a solid nutritionist on staff. Overall, he’s young, coachable, and the first to say, ‘I got a lot confidence right now.’ Definitely worth a late round flier.

 – Nothing a like a girthy, former rugger to protect blind side. He’s stacked through the hips and waist (a must for a book-end tackle) but does not possess the ideal height we like to see at this position. Some worry he’s more leaner than road-grader, but we believe he possesses the necessary drive and motor to get to the second level in run sets. Jason Kokrak was a consideration here, but we’re too enamored with the idea of Zimbabwe-Thai double-team clearing B-gap on the left side of this line. With some obvious height limitations, we may adopt a zone-blocking scheme (think late nineties Denver Broncos), pound the shit out of the rock, and bury the will of the opposition!

Tenured veteran whose accuracy off the tee translates to tight spirals out his ass. Great locker room guy. Been around forever and still getting it done, even when he plays with the big boys.

 A true grinder with ice cold nerves. His skills were on display last year in Phoenix. Needs to tighten up his footwork, but gets nice lift and distance on his kicks. Has shown he can close.

Distance: not a concern. Accuracy: a concern.

As mentioned earlier, his fast-twitch muscle fiber combined with his explosive persona make him a perfect fit for return duties. May have to focus on ball security drills during off-season due to fumbling concerns.

Part 2, which features our steel-curtain defensive unit – is 

! Tell us your thoughts in the comments section below or on 

. Will this offense be able to consistently hang half-a-hundred? Are there glaring omissions? Do we need to clean house over in the scouting department?

No Laying Up's PGA Pigskin Team - Offense

If you haven’t read our first edition of #TourSauce – 

 – Check it out before continuing. You won’t regret it.

Now that you’ve mastered The Club Twirl, The Rehearsal, and The Interview, you’re ready to bump your game up a couple notches. No, not just the occasional top 25 in third tier events. I’m getting you primed for majors, fat overseas appearance fees, and Ryder Cup spots: a true 

. It’s time to show off how much #TourSauce you have. It’s time for Part II.

You show up in your metal spikes to the local muni and your freshly fitted black Nike slacks you just got back from your apparel rep (the seamstress at the strip mall around the corner). It’s 100 degrees and your legs feel like they’re in a greenhouse, but you’re used to it as you don’t even own a pair of shorts anymore. Your attire is scripted by your sponsor, so naturally you’re only wearing one brand.

After heading over to the practice facility your first order of business is demanding that one of the junior golfers come over and toss you range balls one by one while you work through your strict warm-up regimen (purposefully bashing drivers over the net that cuts in down the right side at about 240 yards). After the assistant club pro comes out and calls a ceasefire (not the first time you’ve had a dust-up with this scrub), you’re off to the first tee, where you announce what type of ball you’re playing and how it’s marked, as if you need to differentiate it from your playing partner, a 30-handicap using a yellow ball. It’s time to show that you’ve diversified your tour pro repertoire. Show us your #TourSauce!

You can NOT step up the ball until you have your start line picked out. Don’t be distracted by the marshal who can’t control the large gallery (dude jamming on his headphones while riding the mower up by the green) on your sight line. You will wait until YOU are ready. You also wait to make sure the group in front of you has cleared the green, because you just don’t know what might happen if you get ahold of one.

There is no shot clock out here. These patrons came out to see you. What’s the rush? There is a lot of commotion going down on the porch at the 19th hole behind you, so take your time. You’re giving the fans a treat. They get to see you in person for a few extra seconds.

The round didn’t get off to the to start you envisioned, as evidenced by the eight-footer you’re now faced with to salvage double. To make matters worse, you’re befuddled by this perfectly flat, hairy public green. You confirm with your (imaginary) caddie that you’re putting into the grain (what you haven’t factored in is that the greens are bentgrass, so there is no grain) and switch your attention to which way the ocean is, as everyone knows everything breaks towards the Pacific (nevermind that you’re playing in Ohio). You know there’s more in this thing than meets the eye, so you take matters into your own hand and decide to channel your inner Villegas.

After you struggle back to your feet, you’ve forgotten what the read was. You decide on one ball outside right, square up, and don’t scare the hole. Some chucklehead in one of the groups up ahead must’ve treaded all over your line (nevermind that you’re the only one out here in metal spikes) so you go with…

There’s no chance that miss was your fault. Did the greenskeeper have the day off or something? Tap down the (imaginary) spike mark so none of the pros behind you will get screwed by the same hack that left those behind. Make a note to be sure to talk to “Finchem” about this (the head pro at the muni). These greens are insulting. As a tour pro you should NEVER have to settle for green speeds less than 14 on the Stimpmeter.

Because of that spike mark, you just lost the hole. Get that putter out of your hand as fast as possible. Your caddie will take care of the rest. Don’t worry that you’re riding in a cart with your dad. Let’s be serious – you’re a tour pro – don’t even consider carrying your own putter to the next tee.

You absolutely pure a 6 iron from 225 into the par-5 6th hole (following an OB ball, and a chunk). You can’t hit it any better. You know exactly where it’s going so it’s time to follow that thing to the flag. You chase the shot down the fairway, leaving your cart and riding partner in the dust. Throw in a club twirl so everyone knows just how well you hit it. Give an “ONIONS!” yell as you begin your strut. Nevermind that its 40 yards short (was there a wind gust?) and in the water. You can’t buy a break today!!!

You lay five and you’re ball is in the water, but you think you can “get a club on it.” Your playing partner is on the green putting for four, but you need to “play it as it lies.” Shoes and socks comes off, rain gear comes on. Time to go swimming. This stroke you’re saving is worth thousands (of pennies).

This also applies for anything involving rocks and trees directly in front of you – play everything down…but only after you’ve exhausted all options by demanding that a rules official get his ass out here to give you a ruling. Which leads us to….

You need to take a routine drop, but the stakes are high. You pull out your cell-piece to summon the assistant club pro (same one you clashed with earlier at the practice facility) to the farthest point on the course to give you a ruling. You refer to him as “

” and take an inordinate amount of time getting the proper drop. Meanwhile, the rest of your group has finished the hole.

Your day is still going horribly. Something HAS to be wrong with your equipment. And it doesn’t matter to you that you’ve got brand new forged blades in your bag (you had to have them, blew two pay checks on them). You’ve got a sponsorship. You can go back in the equipment trailer (the pre-owned bin at the PGA Tour Superstore) after the round and get fitted for a new 6 iron (bent down a half degree, of course). So toss that thing in the lake. Make sure everyone knows just how mad you are about the swing you just made how bad these clubs are. You remind yourself to talk to your agent about finding a loophole in this sponsorship contract so you can switch to something better.

Your round is not going any better to this point. But you’ve got a six-footer heading in the general vicinity of the hole, so it’s time to let the crowd know how confident you are that this putt is center cup. Before the putt falls, you launch yourself off your right foot toward the hole to get your ball out. That quarter of a second that you saved by walking towards the hole before it goes in will surely make up for the three minutes you spent reading the putt.

Take it to the next level for longer distance putts. Go full Tiger Sprint, and throw in the point so everyone know exactly what hole the ball is going into.

After draining the first putt you’ve made all day, it’s time to celebrate with your partner with a solid high-five. You’re determined to prove anyone who argues that “golfers are athletes” completely wrong, but you whiff on the high-five. Any momentum you’ve gained by that win with the double is completely lost.

You just made five on the 132-yard par-3 7th hole, but there is still a throng of people out there to watch you. Give them a little treat to make sure you’re still their favorite with an effortless toss to the crowd (unsuspecting group on the nearby tee).

You missed your six-footer for bogey on #15. You have an absolute gimme. The $5 nassau has already been decided. You’ve already taken four minutes on this green; playing partners are dying for you to pick-up so you can at least attempt to finish before the sun goes down. But you have to putt everything out for this thing to be official (don’t want any snafus in the scorer’s tent later on). You make sure you’re not stepping in your playing partner’s line (or their “through line”), so you point at their line just to make sure they see how much you care about it. They don’t even have a putt to hit, you just need to show how good of a sportsman you are. You contort your torso more than you would if you were playing Twister and tap in for your snowman.

After you make it, be sure to do a 360 walk around the hole to retrieve your ball, and to make sure you don’t step in someone’s line.

You finish your round. You broke 90 for the first time this summer. Obviously your family and infant child are nearby and the situation is RIPE for a photo-op. Your wife’s been so supportive of your quest to take your game to the next level (splurging on those new blades meant eating ramen noodles for two months). They rush on the green to help you celebrate (you’ve been coaching them on this all winter). Your life is perfect, and now everyone in the world (your foursome) knows it.

 when you see some #TourSauce. Better yet, share this piece with your buddies and let us know how they react when you bust these moves out on the course.

How to Act Like a Tour Pro: Part II

It was a day of firsts for NLU; my first time to Pebble Beach, nolayingup.com’s first taste of official respect as a ‘powerhouse’ media entity, and for many fans and players, the first inkling of NLU’s existence. This entire post will read a lot better if you picture us exactly like we were for the entire day.

Allow me to share a few notes from the field:

‘Hi I’m here to pick up my media badge.’

‘Oh, yes! Right here, and don’t forget your press hat (a fresh burnt orange and grey with the pebble logo).’

Keep in mind, we started this blog 38 days ago. My day was made already.

However, on my way to the media parking lot I saw The Big Unit, Kiradech Aphibarnrat, posting up hard on a set of stairs during the wind/rain delay (we profiled ‘Arm’ as a 

“Let’s go Big Unit!!!” I said with uber- jollyness from the car window accompanied by a thumbs up. He just stared. Maybe he didn’t understand me, or maybe he thought I was some schwaldo (which I am, but now I’m a schwaldo with a media badge, a schwaldo with…access). We parked and walked back into the tourney grounds to find ‘The Big Unit’ pacing back and forth where we left him. He was antsy, and for good reason, as I’d learn later he had a 6 foot birdie putt on #8 to get him back to level par. Never wanting to disrupt any player’s focus, NLU opted to speak with the good ole’ boy holding court near his caddie (his caddie is a stone cold Thai guy – love that). We speculate this was his agent (though the wily old veteran wouldn’t share his name, even with a trusted NLU field reporter). I asked him how ‘Arm’ was feeling while he was out of earshot. He said Arm was ‘up and down,’ and the discussion turned toward the Master’s invitation he should have received back in December. Our guy was heated (in a laid back good ole boy way).

‘Well of course Augusta just had to go and change up the rules this year.’

Traditionally, the Order of Merit winner on The Asian Tour (money leader) has an automatic invite from Augusta. Arm boat raced the Asian tour last year taking home twice as much dough as the next best Asian player, but this year, due to a larger than normal field, they haven’t extended the invite to Arm, and they have already included his Thai compatriot Thongchai Jaidee. Arm may need a ‘W’ on the West Coast Swing, or at least some solid finishes to find himself among the azaleas come April. He finished with a MDF.

DJ (far left) getting his future father-in-law lined up; JD lost in thought.

After walking the sanctuary course out to #7 to see Kurt Russell stuff one and Tommy Two Gloves airmail the windy par-3, my roommate Paul and I met up with NLU contributor and VP of Business Development Colonel Terry Bare on 17 green. This is when the real fun began. We set up shop next to the celebrity tee box on 18. First foursome to come through: The Main Event – Dustin Johnson, JD, Kid Rock, and The Great One.

After we chatted Wayne up about the website, Gretzky turned with a smile and said, ‘There’s actually a NoLayingUp.com?’ Of course there is, Great One!

He continued: “The fact that there’s actually a NoLayingUp.com is much more impressive than me getting home in two. Too bad I don’t know how to turn a computer on. I just use the phone and fax machines.” Wow, what a legend. Our attempts to speak with NLU hall of famer John Daly again came up short – as you can see, he was deep in reflection on the far side.

As the feature foursome strolled down 18 fairway, next up was the Belichik and Brady duo playing with TE draft prospect Ricky Barnes. As the rain picked up, The Hoodman traded his cut off Patriots sweatshirt with his caddie for classy looking rain gear. What a sellout. Neither Hoodman nor famed Ugg’s model Tom Brady acknowledged the adoring fans or the NLU contingetn, and both ended up in the Pacific off the tee. Karma? You be the judge.

As the gallery followed the stars down 18 like sheep, the Colonel, Paul, and I stayed tight on the ropes at the 18th tee, and as he awaited his Pro-Am partners Ray Ramano’s train wreck drive, NLU had a few precious moments to put a bug in pro golfer Andrew Svoboda’s ear during the fading light of Saturday afternoon. NLU:

“Hey, bro…you gotta go for it in 2! No laying up! You got this!” (encouraging).

Mr. Svoboda: after a moment, and with an apathetic shrug — “Yeah sure, I guess I’ll go for it.”

The Colonel and I were feeling righteous and nodding up and down to each other (inside voice: yeah, man– we’re motivating these guys!). As Svoboda took off into the grey drizzle, we took a quick peek at the leader board aside the 17th fairway, and there it was, just a bit late, but bright and clear through the windy rain: 

For the record, NLU strives to be a positive influence on our golfing brethren and sistren. We would never knowingly kick a man while he was down (a la Johnny Miller), and we will say Andrew Svoboda, after engaging NLU eyeball-to-eyeball on the cold and desolate 18th tee, penciled in a par, 5 on that last hole — something he was not able to do on 10 other holes that day.

So, who knows, maybe our encouragement to get aggressive and finish strong lit the fuse when he could have mailed it in like his Pro-am partner Ray Romano (who sprayed his first drive O.B. – right of Rush Limbaugh and duck-hooked his 2nd one off the rocks into the stormy Pacific). We appreciated his chivalrous response and dogged determination, coupled with an outstanding Laissez-Faire attitude in the face of an unfortunate day. Andrew Svoboda — you are the man. NLU salutes you on the rest of your 2014 campaign.

As the sun set behind the grey sky and white-capped waves, we headed up to the media headquarters to unwind and compare notes. We grabbed some Coca-Colas and made sure there was no wrap-up ‘presser’ (unfortunately we were too late). As we were warming up, we struck up a conversation with Gary, who seemed to be the head of something media related (he definitely took himself seriously). He sized us up incredulously after I introduced NLU, and responded with, “never heard of Nolayingup.com.” A few minutes later, as we were standing out front in the cold, it dawned on me that they must have some grub for the media somewhere nearby, so I went back in to ask. As the director of media was lecturing the volunteers for the lax security (graciously letting The Colonel tag along), he turned and looked me up and down. Shocked by my nerve to return. he sneered, “The food is long gone.”

Nerve is all we have here at NLU, and we’ll see you on-site at the Heritage, Gary!

Are those Corduroys on the golf course? Yes, yes they are.

One final note: We’re huge supporters of our military here at NLU, and we wanted to throw a big thanks to the AT&T Pebble Beach team for the awesome Military Appreciation tent by the 15th green. Our contributor Colonel Terry Bare was greeted along with other troops and families with the full treatment. Great chow, hospitality, and fantastic greenside seats to watch all the action. A special tip of the hat to the remarkable Mr. Bobby Sparks, who makes it all run smoothly. We appreciate the support to our military service men and women!

Notes from the Field: Saturday at Pebble Beach

Whether consciously or subconsciously, all golfers are influenced by tour pros in some way, shape or form. You know you’ve mimicked a tour player’s pre-shot routine or swing, bought similar attire, or even reacted similarly to a shot, and you probably do it more often than you think.

My friends and I began doing this years ago when we started thinking we were way better than we were. We began intentionally acting as if we were tour pros playing inside the ropes in front of large galleries. What started as a joke morphed into a full fledged side competition and reached the point where we celebrated a well-executed tour mannerism more than a great shot.

Below are some ideas for how you can join in on the fun (ordered by degree of ridiculousness). And remember, throw subtlety out the window when trying any of this stuff. We call it #TourSauce.

You’re a pro now, remember that. You did not “get new clubs this offseason” – rather, you’re “going through an equipment change.” Yes, those 6 year old Mizuno’s you bought at Golf Galaxy count as an equipment change. And don’t forget to throw in some fabricated stat like “I got them bent so my traj is 1.5 degrees lower than last year” or “My ball speed is up 6 miles an hour.”

You haven’t been “taking lessons.” Instead, you’re working with a new swing coach. It doesn’t matter that your lessons cost $25/hour at Ranger Rick’s (they just put in lights this year!). You’re going through some swing changes, and you need to make it clear to everyone that you feel good about where you are in “The Process.” Just remember, all the hours you’ve been putting in with the new “physio” you brought on the team a few months ago are going to start paying dividends soon (nevermind that this new “physio” is just the instructor in your group Cardio Jam class at L.A. Fitness).

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