Picking PGA Tour players to root for isn’t necessarily an easy task. Major golf publications really only cover about 10 different players, so it’s hard to become familiar with the deeper cut players if you’re what I would call an “Easter and Christmas churchgoer” who only tunes in to golf during the majors. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. This is a judge free zone where all are welcome to share in a joint celebration of the game of golf. Because I’m a charitable guy who is short on productive hobbies, I’ve decided to do the legwork for you in finding players to root for that will be suited to your personality. This is based on a highly complex algorithm that is frankly too technical to explain here, so just trust the system. My favorite player might be on the opposite end of the political and social spectrum from yours, but we’re all citizens of the same golf universe, and all of our votes count the same.

Transformers 3 is your favorite movie of all time

Your favorite restaurant is Buffalo Wild Wings because you think the commercials are hilarious

Being a Bubba fan requires one of two personality traits: a remarkable ability to separate a golfer’s on-course talent from every other part of his persona, or a BS detector so faulty that it masquerades as willful ignorance. No one can deny Bubba’s robust game. He can be flat out thrilling to watch when he isn’t throwing Veruca Salt-level temper tantrums or sandbagging his way around the course on days when he doesn’t have his “A” game. Like Transformers 3, Bubba delivers stylized visuals with his pink driver, gigantic $500,000 white wrist watch (that thing must be CGI), and 350 yard bombs. However, behind the impressive display is a persona emptier than a champagne bottle handled by Anthony Kim. Off the course, he’s a walking example of cognitive dissonance. He pretends to be a fun-loving man of the people who wears shirtless overalls in parody music videos and constantly references his humble upbringing. We get it Bubba, you’re from Bagdad, Florida. We might be cooler with you mentioning that fact every 10 minutes if you were from Baghdad, Iraq – now THAT would be a story. If that was the case, Operation Iraqi Freedom would have actually been worth it if it meant ending his oppressive regime.

At the same time, Gerry’s the same guy who refused to participate in the long drive contest at the PGA Championship during a practice round. He also does things like 

. I’m not in the business of throwing out harsh judgments directed at people I haven’t met (most of the time), but Bubba seems more phony than a Volkswagen emissions test. If your philosophy as a sports fan is to look past the persona and simply enjoy impressive performances, I can’t really fault you for that. Bubba’s your guy. To the rest of you suckers who have fallen for Bubba’s shtick, I feel bad for you because you will probably drop your savings on a life-time supply of Herbalife in the near future.

Your dream vacation destination is Davenport, Iowa

Your favorite Hogwarts House is Hufflepuff

You can tell me about TurboTax’s new features

You are sexually aroused by the dialogue in Big Bang Theory

The most daring thing you’ve ever done was listen to Coldplay’s “A Rush of Blood to the Head” all the way through

Nothing helps you unwind from a long day like listening to John Tesh tickle the ivories

Listen, there’s nothing wrong with any of the bullet points above. People who enjoy living in the slow lane are unfairly lampooned in our society. We should really be directing our mockery at people who inflict actual damage by being jerks or by taking themselves too seriously. Jim Furyk fans, I’ve got your back. Maybe he’s boring to watch, but his talent, self-made swing, and tenacious work-ethic must all be respected. Like Coldplay, he’s made tons of cash in the past couple decades by cranking out boring hits. He’s made over $65 million in his career, which is fewer Chinese Yuan than it was a few weeks ago, but it’s still a boat load of Chinese Yuan. His hesitation to pull the trigger on putts is similar to me considering shooting myself when “Yellow” comes on the jukebox, but don’t let that cloud your judgment. To re-purpose a quote from Hansel in Zoolander, “I would say Jim Furyk is a hero of mine. The golf he’s played over the years…I don’t enjoy watching it, but the fact that he’s playing it, I respect that.”

You are a psychologist or simply a fan of observing human neurosis

You think “Titanic” should have been an hour longer

You pick 10 seeds and below to go to the Final Four in your March Madness bracket every year

Kevin Na’s psychological struggles are well-documented. Anyone who watched him down the stretch of the 2012 Player’s Championship should have deep sympathy for what Kevin Na has had to battle upstairs. Imagine having a severe case of stage fright that’s nationally televised while thousands of people are yelling things at you like “why don’t you pee already you weirdo!” That’s more or less what Na went through in 2012, so it’s hard not to be happy for him during his recent resurgence. Dating back to the 2014 season, Na has five 2nd place finishes, 17 top 10s, has made 49/59 cuts, and has only blinked his eyes 3 times. I’d pay decent money to see him and Keegan Bradley lock eyes in what would be the ultimate wide-eyed staring contest. At any rate, Na is the Juan Pierre of the PGA TOUR in that he’s small in stature and lacking pop, but is uber-consistent and willing to slap an ugly single the opposite way if it’s for the benefit of the team. One drawback to watching Na is his glacial pace of play. We could start a game of Monopoly whenever he tees off his first hole and by the time he’s done, we will have finished Monopoly, Risk, Settlers of Catan, and “The Godfather.” If you’re into rooting for small ball players, underdogs, or redemption tales, and don’t mind watching 5.5 hour rounds of golf, Na is your guy.

You drink multiple Mountain Dew products each day

You routinely wear t-shirts with cutoff sleeves, and/or cutoff jean shorts

You’ve never stepped foot in a Hyundai and you’re upset that I even asked you the question

Wilcox is a bit of a reclamation project who has taken a rocky path to the Tour. On a scale from Lafferty, Daniel to Happy Girlmore, he falls closer to the latter end of the spectrum than the former. Once a junior golf whiz, Wilcox partied his way out of college at UAB and had to pick up the pieces of his life before rediscovering his game. His personality is somewhere between “marches to the beat of his own drum” and “I don’t give an eff what you think.” His most notable accomplishment other than his sneakily solid play last season was pissing off Brendan Steele at the driving range of the 2015 Traveler’s Championship by loudly playing Drake songs while practicing. If anything, we should be thanking Wilcox for exposing Steele as a hardcore Meek Mill fanboy.

Root for Palmer, Kisner, and/or Streb if:

Your favorite movie of 2015 was “Bridge of Spies”

Like yours truly’s favorite movie of 2015, “Bridge of Spies,” these guys are solid, fun to watch, and underrated in most circles (although Kisner might be pricing himself out of this market). They’re the kind of guys that true fans want to list as their favorite players because doing so demonstrates a degree of knowledge about the game. Even though they’re all legitimately fun to watch, calling one of these guys your favorite player is kind of a hipster move. It’s kind of like saying your favorite fruit is the kiwi. It’s defensible in my book, but also definitely not what most people would say. If you appreciate quality but don’t want to be caught rooting for someone too mainstream, these are your guys.

Harold Varner III/Tony Finau/Daniel Berger

Root for Varner, Finau, and/or Berger if:

You were the first of your friends to own an iPhone and you’re damn proud of it

You knew about dabbing before it became played out

These guys are the (slightly) less talked about young guns. NLU has already expressed a deep affinity for Justin Thomas, Brooks Koepka, and the immortal Pat Reed, and I’m not here to argue with those high-caliber choices, even if I think Soly’s man crush on these young Americans borders on being creepier than the Big Cat’s web browser history circa 2008. The three guys above represent the next wave of younger golfers who have Top 10 potential and are just getting their start. Each one of these guys is so explosive that Ted Cruz has already dubbed the trio “The Carpet Bombers.”

Varner (who desperately needs a nickname – I’m proposing HVAC, Harry Triple Twigs, or Varney Rubble as possibilities) more or less plays golf with the mindset of “I’m going to hit driver on every hole and I’ll find a way to play it from there.” I heard he once hit driver off the deck from 150 out just to see if he could make par from wherever he ended up (I just made that up). Varner projects to be like Bobby De Niro in that he will have really high highs and will also throw out some “Dirty Grandpa” and “Meet the Fockers” dud performances. Nevertheless, he should have a bright career.

After jumping around the mini-tour circuit for a few years, Tony Finau finally broke through by earning his Web.com Tour card in 2014 and he launched himself into orbit from there. His first PGA Tour season in 2015 saw him earn a cool $2 million, good enough for a respectable 43rd on the money list, with five top ten’s and at least 1,000 drops of “Finau the phenom” wordplay by PGA Tour broadcasters who self-identify as hilarious. This dude hits it a mile and has a pretty solid all-around game that is currently a bit more polished than Varner’s. He also has two cousins in the NFL (Haloti Ngata and Sione Pouha) and one cousin in the NBA (Jabari Parker), which is neither here nor there but is pretty fascinating. At minimum, his floor is to be a backup tight end on the NLU All-Pigskin team.

Berger has had the most success of this trio so far, with 6 top 10s and two runner up finishes in his Rookie of the Year award winning 2015 season. He’s probably more in line with the Justin Thomas/Brooks Koepka group of higher ranked younger guys based on what he’s already achieved, but I just don’t feel like he’s getting the same buzz and I’m the one making the rules. Berger King should be cranking out whoppers for the next 20 years (I’m so sorry).

If you enjoy following guys from the ground floor to the penthouse or if you enjoy trying to predict the big wave before it comes, these are your guys.

You root for the Cowboys, the Yankees, Duke, or the Lakers

Your favorite member of N’Sync is Justin Timberlake

You wear high tops and joggers on the reg

You’re currently sporting the Macklemore haircut

All three of them are incredible to watch and to be fair, are all much easier to back than the Cowboys or the Yankees because they all seem like nice guys. Just because they’re easy to root for doesn’t make you not a front runner for rooting for them, though. Luckily, front-running is really comfortable in those slim fit joggers you’re wearing.

The number of Camel Bucks in your wallet exceeds the number of actual bucks in your wallet

You’d prefer to see a tour pro throw his bag in a lake out of anger over witnessing a hole in one

These guys are interesting to watch and it’s usually for reasons other than their transcendent golf. Watching Spencer Levin is kind of like watching Kevin Na only way, way darker. His claim to fame is his tendency to rip cigs throughout his round – particularly in pressure packed situations – although he recently cut that habit. He definitely wins the PGA Tour award for “most likely to hit himself in the face with his 9-iron out of anger.” What you see with Levin is what you get, and usually what you see is a fidgety bundle of borderline psychotic emotions. What you see is also what you get with Boo Weekley and Jerry Kelly, who have amassed a cult following on tour by being candid, down to earth guys. If you aren’t about frills and polish, look no further.

And there you have it. The beauty of the PGA Tour is that there’s something for everyone. The players run the gamut of personalities and are much more fun than stereotypes would suggest. Golf may always remain a niche sport for a plethora of reasons, but there is still plenty of fun to be had. Stay tuned for more potential decision trees in the future.

The Definitive Guide to Choosing Your Favorite PGA Tour Pro

As usual, I got a ton of good questions this week. Too many for just one part, so I’ll try to get to the rest of them by early next week. But for now, here is Part I:

 Also rank the top 3 players who would look the worst in shorts..



— Jon Matsumoto (@Matsy11) 

I really don’t care either way on this one. There’s no real reason why they shouldn’t be allowed to wear shorts, other than “that’s the way it’s always been done.” This isn’t going to be coming to the PGA Tour anytime soon regardless, so in my mind it’s a bit of a non-issue. But players will continue to hit the ball further and further, rendering more and more courses obsolete, and this is still going to be the kind of stuff that we’re going to talk about.

To answer your question, the worst three players to see in shorts would be:

. It may be worse than his jeans game. He can’t be trusted.

? Imagine what those trunks look like. #OBstakes

David Lingmerth – Considering his pant size is “male capris,” I don’t think they even make shorts in his size.

 Thoughts on who should replace Greg Norman in the booth for the US Open? (Odds on it being Big Cat?)



— Sarah Endacott (@sendacott) 

 this week, but didn’t get a chance to expand on my answer. Full disclaimer: it was 5:30 AM, and I had literally found out about the Norman news when I received this question, so I didn’t have time to give it full thought when I answered Lanny Watkins.

What I feel like Fox badly needs is experience, and Watkins has a ton of that in the booth. He also appears to be the most available to me, based on the fact that he’s covering the Champions Tour, and I’m sure he would rather be cover the big boy tour. Paul Azinger seems to be the front-runner, and honestly, he makes a lot more sense than Watkins, so if I were to actually have given this proper thought, I would also conclude that it will probably end up being Azinger.

If you ignore money, the biggest question for me is, why would this be a desirable job? Obviously money is a big factor, but we’re talking about a role where you’re literally calling one PGA Tour event every year. Granted, it is the national championship, but I’m not sure how you recruit away someone like a Brandel Chamblee, who has a full gig at the Golf Channel year round. Maybe the fact that it’s a smaller workload for a boat load of money that makes the role appealing, but I don’t know enough about the TV contracts to really understand how this would work out.

I went into more detail on Fox’s questionable model 

with John Swantek on Talk of the Tour this week

 Was Rickie's joggers and high-tops outfit a devious/genius ploy to trick the Tour into allowing pros to wear shorts?



— Jesse Larson (@JesseLarson) 

I was trying to come up with a joke similar to this but I couldn’t land it. I got called a curmudgeon for hating on the joggers, but it’s a terrible look. I’m 29, and Rickie is 26, so it’s not like there is a generational gap here. I’m all for new fashion trends, and guys breaking from the mold, but these are sweatpants. I don’t go to the grocery store in sweatpants, much less the golf course. It’s a sloppy look, and I don’t think it’s going to catch on at all.

I didn’t follow it closely, but I thought I saw that Rickie had already abandoned them on the weekend at Kapalua, and I didn’t see him wearing them in Abu Dhabi. I’m hoping these go straight to the Hall of Shame along with Tiger and Phil’s mock turtlenecks from the mid-2000’s and Furyk’s button down shirts. I’m telling you, there needs to be a D.A.R.E. program where these vets warn them about regrettable fashion trends. You can’t recover from 

 who's your pick not named Rory, Spieth, or Day to win a major this year



— Manuél Retweet (@RyFo18) 

, as this is inevitably asked every single mailbag.

 will Dufner or Bradley ever figure things out??



— Phillip Johnson (@PhillipJohnson7) 

If I’m being completely honest, I had completely forgotten about Keegan Bradley until you asked. Like, I had forgotten that he exists, and for sure forgot that he has been a part of the last two US Ryder Cup teams (speaking of which, has he unpacked those bags yet?). Aside from nearly getting carved up like a victim of Zorro’s sword by Miguel at the Match Play, you could have convinced me that he didn’t play on tour last year.

He hasn’t a non-silly season top 10 since the Memorial in June, and has fallen to 76th in the world from inside the top 30 at the season’s beginning. It’s relatively easy to make your way up into the top of the rankings (and stay there) with a few good results, due to the events you’re able to get into and get free OWGR points. It’s a lot harder to fall that far in that course of time. It means consistently not performing in line with your ranking. Not a good sign. And despite a lot of golf writers wanting to point to a hot round or two with the short putter, I don’t buy into the whole “these guys are going to be fine” assumption that’s based on a miniscule sample size. So I’m not expecting a fast turnaround from Bradley.

On the other hand, I am expecting to see a rejuvenated Dufner this year (I promise I wrote this before his 64 on Thursday). Coming back from injury and a tough year that included a divorce, he seems to be refocused and motivated. It’s easy to forget that he was the 8th ranked player in the world after he won the 2013 PGA Championship.

A funny story about Duf – by complete chance I ran into a friend of mine at the 2010 US Open. We got to catching up, and he told me to watch out for this guy, Jason Dufner, and points over to this guy with his belly hanging over his belly and a dip in his mouth (Duf was ranked in the top-100 at the time, but I didn’t follow golf nearly as closely during that time.) He hovers over the ball waggling his club back and forth, and proceeds to hit a nasty little hook with a 3 wood. I rolled my eyes at him and laughed saying I’ll be sure to look out for him. A year later he’s playing in a playoff (and should have won) in the PGA Championship.

 when will the tour back a skills challenge for the players? I'm just imagining Phil challenging everyone to a flop-off…



— Troy Treanor (@troytreanor) 

I’ve thought of this before, and it’s one of those things that makes too much sense for it to actually work. I’m not sure how you motivate the players to partake, but I’m guessing a Rickie Fowler endorsement would encourage the younger guys to eat this up and really promote it. Why not do this the Wednesday night before the Waste Management? Booze the crowd up (won’t take much convincing). Adding this to my list of half-baked ideas for when the PGA Tour finally decides to start paying me to develop this stuff:

A long drive contest (that isn’t in a practice round of a major championship) where they seed everyone based on their best of three drives. Then you go into a 16 person bracket, head to head, best of five series (five drives each, first to win three advances).

A trick shot challenge with fan voting (kind of like a dunk contest). You can use props, guests, and you don’t get a million takes to make the perfect trick shot video.

A flop shot challenge over walls and stuff. You’re telling me Phil wouldn’t be all over this?

A H-O-R-S-E competition. Could be in the style of Top Golf or something like that.

End it with a closest to pin competition on 16. That place would be rocking off it’s foundation.

 Is Patrick Reed's ceiling to the level of Tom Watson, Curtis Strange, or Scott Hoch? Those are the games who seem most similar.



— Ben McNamara (@1867_ben) 

I’m am willing to answer Tom Watson. Reed has a huge ceiling, and our vision of that may be impaired by the fact that he has turned into an easy target for social media jokes (with no one being more guilty of that than me). Obviously Reed has a long, long, long ways to go before he can even begin to be compared to Tom Watson, but do I think he 

 win 8 majors? It sounds like a ridiculous thing to say, but that’s what we have to ask ourselves when we use the word ceiling. It’s easy to twist this into “wow, Soly just compared Patrick Reed to Tom Watson” or “Soly thinks Patrick Reed is going to be Tom Watson” when that’s not what I’m saying at all. I simply think, in the most ideal scenario, Reed 

 be that good. I’m for sure not saying that it’s likely, just that I think he possesses that kind of talent. Do I think he’s going to win 40 times on the PGA Tour? Of course I don’t.

That being said, I think a more realistic career trajectory is more like Curtis Strange (or if you’re looking for a more modern example, along the lines of a Jim Furyk or a Davis Love III). Predicting around 20 wins may seem kind of crazy (again), but we’re talking about a 25 year old that already has four. Would anyone really be surprised if averaged basically one win a year for the rest of his career?

Not to play semantics, but the use of the word ceiling in this question makes it much more difficult to answer confidently without seeming as if I’m bordering on hyperbole. We tend to throw the word ceiling around too liberally without really evaluating what that means. Inherently, the difference between every athlete’s ceiling and floor is huge, with Tiger perhaps being the best example.

Of course, if you asked Reed himself, he may tell you his floor is Jack Nicklaus.

 Avery/Dassey… Guilty or innocent? (Haven't listened to your latest podcast yet.)



— The Sydney Golfer (@thesydneygolfer) 

(If you have not watched making a murderer, both this answer and the answer to the next question will have spoilers. That being said, I don’t think this show gets ruined by spoilers, as it is a true story and a documentary, but I feel like I’m obligated to warn you on this. There will be no more golf questions/answers after this one, so feel free to stop reading if you haven’t watched.)

While I’m thrilled to get a Making a Murderer question, I don’t think this is the question that should be asked. I’ll answer it, but the better question is whether or not he should have been convicted. That may be the easier question to answer, as I can’t imagine anyone watching the show actually thinking that justice was served. For me, there is more than enough reasonable doubt for me to find him not guilty.

I went through a cycle that I believe many other viewers are going through when trying to assess his guilt. You watch the documentary, assume he’s innocent. Then you read some things about “evidence left out” of the series that was critical to the prosecution’s case, and you’re questioning everything you just watched. I have been thoroughly reading the 

 interesting and captivating than the actual documentary series.

While I originally thought the criticisms of the series were well founded, I have flipped 180 degrees after my research. In reality, the “evidence” left out is just a bunch of rhetoric from the prosecutor, Ken Kratz. And if we really want to open up the discussion on evidence left out, there is WAY more defense helping clips that were left on the cutting room floor than there is prosecution evidence. 

 of such material, with a few highlights below:

Regarding the “sweat DNA” that Kratz claims was found under the hood of her car: First of all, if someone refers to anything as “sweat DNA”, just disregard anything else they have to say (

). To quote Jerry Buting: “There is no such thing as ‘sweat DNA.’ DNA is found in all nucleated cells, but there has never been a test to determine that a sample of DNA came specifically from perspiration.” Also, the investigator that handled the hood did not change gloves from looking in the car, and also easily could have been planted.

Culhane testified that the amount of Avery’s DNA on Halbach’s hood latch (which could have been blood) was very small, similar to what you would get from rubbing Avery’s toothbrush on it, or from the unchanged gloves of the tech who handled blood evidence inside the car and then touched the hood.

In between 3:30 – 4PM, A propane delivery truck driver (John Leurquin) saw a green SUV leaving the Avery property at but couldn’t identify driver or if it was a male or female. He delivers propane for Valders Co-op. Usually fuels up near Avery property at 3:30 for about half an hour. This validates the bus driver’s timeline, and completely invalidates Bobby Dassey’s, Scott Tadych, and the state’s timeline. This was not included in the documentary.

Dean Strang stated they had a forensic anthropologist at trial who testified that an open fire wouldn’t have generated enough heat to burn a body in the way that those bones were destroyed. This was not included in the documentary.

Honestly, that is tip of the iceberg, from an evidence perspective.

There’s even been criticism out there towards the creators of the documentary regarding their lack of response to the criticism. These are mostly ridiculous, in my opinion, but 

. I don’t think they needed one. The documentary speaks for itself.

 last week (around the 38 minute mark, excuse the bad audio) in great detail, and I’ll highlight some of that here.

The evidence simply doesn’t add up. He very well may have killed her, but it 100% was not in the way that the state described it. He could not have killed her in the garage and left not one spec of her DNA in there. He’s not Dexter Morgan. That bullet that was found FIVE MONTHS after the initial search (and missed in several subsequent searches after that) had to be planted. The key that was discovered in his bedroom is her spare key (and she’s been photographed with multiple keys on her key ring), and it magically contains none of her DNA, but some of Avery’s (also, her co-worker testified that she had multiple keys on her key ring). This key is somehow found on like the fifth search of a tiny bedroom. 

By the same guy. The same guy that was not supposed to be involved in the investigation at all. The same guy who was deposed in the civil suit brought forth by Avery himself. 

He claims he shook the bookcase violently, yet the book case looks nearly the same as it did in the initial search.

The state completely ignores Theresa’s blood and hair in the back of her car, because it doesn’t work with their story. If he killed her in the garage, and burned her 30 feet away in his backyard, why in the world would he put her in the back of her car? The evidence of her bones being found in the burn barrel at Bobby Dassey’s house, and (potentially) in the quarry is basically ignored. Why? Doesn’t fit their story.

There’s not a single piece of evidence in the state’s claim that can’t be very strongly questioned. On top of that, I’m nearly certain that there was evidence planted. So, for the evidence where there weren’t necessarily clues that it was planted, how can we be sure that it wasn’t? How can we put ANY faith in the investigation that was performed? How do we know they weren’t the ones that put the car on his property. (Also, 

 about how she found the car.) Add in the fact that there was some very questionable stuff going on within the jury pool (a juror being replaced at the last minute for suspicious reasons, the fact that the initial jury vote had 

 not guilty votes, vote negotiating, and stories of fear for their own safety), and you have a mountain of stuff that just doesn’t work.

On top of the fact that evidence just 100% does not add up, the way that Avery carries himself is not that of a guilty man. All of his phone calls from the jail are recorded, and not once does he even remotely slip up and implicate himself. Remember, this is not some mastermind criminal. He talks to his girlfriend twice that afternoon (recorded calls) and there is nothing even slightly suspicious in the calls.

I’ve written about 1,000 words on this question already, and I’m confident I could write 5,000 more about the holes in the case. I’ll leave it with this: 

Here’s the best theory I’ve read so far

 F, marry, kill: Kratz, Kachinsky, Lenk



— Ryan Clark (@r_clark17) 

Kachinsky – He needs to see what it feels like to be on the other end of this.

Kratz – He’s the one with the six figure salary and the $350,000 house! He’s the prize!

Lenk – I’m going to get framed for it if he gets killed anyway, so I might as well.

January Mailbag, Part I

I meant to do this monthly this year, but went a solid 1 for 12. Here’s some of my favorite golf tweets of the year. This list is not meant to be all inclusive. Enjoy.

Then he said, 'that is that.'
and then he was gone
with a tip of his hat.



– (Big) Cat in the Hat



— D.J. Piehowski (@DJPie) 

"Rory are u better than Jordan? Be careful tho cuz if u say yes ur too arrogant but if u say no then ur weak."- Reporters, basically



— max homa (@maxhoma23) 

Tiger's at the Alpine World Ski Championship today. Must be comforting to see athletes who have gone downhill faster than him.



— Eamon Lynch (@eamonlynch) 

If you start the ball right of the hotel complex off the tee at the Road Hole, you should get knighted no questions asked.



— Big Randy (@BigRandyNLU) 

https://twitter.com/JustinThomas34/status/572143039352856576/photo/1

Last year, Rory McIlroy played the majors in 27 under par: "Legend!"



This year, Dustin Johnson played them in 29 under par: "Choke city!"



— Kyle Porter (@KylePorterCBS) 

Stenson should keep his 3-wood in one of these things: 

Sergio and JT:



2 in the pink. 1 in the drink.



— Tron Carter (@TronCarterNLU) 

 answering question if Tiger win would overshadow Spieth's 2015 season.



— Big Randy (@BigRandyNLU) 

Poulter made a 6 today for each one of his Ferrari's parked out front #?



— Brice Garnett (@BriceGarnett) 





— One Putt Blunder (@oneputtblunder) 

"Stenson holes this he plays with bubba again tomorrow" "stenson lags it close without trying to make it" 

Reed and Spieth played together in Tuesday practice round. "He was talking to his ball, … and it's Tuesday," Reed said.



— Sean Martin (@PGATOURSMartin) 

Todd Lewis on GC saying silent mode when taking photos is illegal in South Korea, so there's a constant buzz and clatter 

Dustin helping Jordan read a putt is like Shaq explaining to Steve Nash how to shoot a free throw.



— Shane Bacon (@shanebacon) 

Augusta National is closed all summer and re-opens in mid-October in case you were confused about why Spurrier is retiring tomorrow.



— Kyle Porter (@KylePorterCBS) 

Rory wearing white pants after having food poisoning all week is a level of confidence you can't teach.



— Trent (@BarstoolTrent) 





— Tristan Larter (@straightbreak21) 

Rickie: "Bubba will disown me if I don't pick Georgia."



It's a no-brainer then! This is your chance Rickie!



— Tron Carter (@TronCarterNLU) 

Love watching The Big Break when dudes are like "Will I ever be the best player in the world? We'll never know." Actually, I think we know.



— Kevin Van Valkenburg (@KVanValkenburg) 

Spieth’s gonna stop in Greece to bail them out before heading to the Old Course.



— Adam Sarson (@Adam_Sarson) 

https://twitter.com/Wrong_Fairway/status/611541795248447489/photo/1

https://twitter.com/PGAPappas/status/563489031984807937/photo/1

Hearing reports that Bubba is making Ted Scott stand next to him and blow in the opposite direction of the wind to counteract it.



— Shane Ryan (@ShaneRyanHere) 

Jordan Spieth tells me Caitlyn Jenner (then Bruce) once tried to set him up with daughter Kendall. Said no. Didn't even know who they were.



— Jason Sobel (@JasonSobelESPN) 

Matt Every, at Bay Hill trophy presentation: "I told Tiger I'd hold it down for him until he gets back."



— Ryan Lavner (@RyanLavnerGC) 

https://twitter.com/AlexMyers3/status/586981140814139394/photo/1

https://twitter.com/RyanBallengee/status/621648192648650752/photo/1

https://twitter.com/KVanValkenburg/status/615870900425109504/photo/1

In order of really impressive to REALLY IMPRESSIVE: Rickie's win —> Rickie's celebratory kiss —> Alexis' top somehow stayed on.



— Ashley Mayo (@AshleyKMayo) 

If there is a god, Tom Watson would walk out of his room onto that Old Course Hotel balcony where Phil just deposited his tee shot.



— Eamon Lynch (@eamonlynch) 

https://twitter.com/BarstoolTrent/status/497736348258672641/photo/1

I imagine Patrick Reed is in his hotel room, looking in the mirror and saying, "you're the Champion Golfer of all time."



— Trevor Reaske (@TrevorReaske) 

https://twitter.com/Wrong_Fairway/status/618404154097033216/photo/1

https://twitter.com/shanebacon/status/586955596139724800/photo/1

“Yeah, my arm broke but I just poured some Robitussin on it so I’m good.” — Tiger Woods



— Shane Bacon (@shanebacon) 

https://twitter.com/KylePorterCBS/status/566028914821042176/photo/1

Someone needs to call Nike Golf and let them know this is The Masters, not Spring Break 2K15. Relax with the neon.



— Tron Carter (@TronCarterNLU) 

JJ Henry is TOUR's answer to a predatory lender. Preying on fields of weaker individuals in cities like Hartford and Reno. Its despicable.



— Tron Carter (@TronCarterNLU) 

With a name and pic like this you boys know who to pick first 

“Down, sit down, sit” -Jordan Spieth at the Champions Dinner next year.



— Adam Sarson (@Adam_Sarson) 

 Give me 3 minutes to scroll left on Big Cat's camera roll, and I'll enter the priesthood.



— Dillon Mays (@dillonmays_) 

: Pebble yesterday..Cyprus Point today.. Spyglass tomorrow. Hard to imagine a better 17 miles than here



— Justin Thomas (@JustinThomas34) 

Phil goes double bogey, bogey to get to +5.



/hits the eject button 

 almost as good as the marshalls hushing the bushes before rory teed off – 

"all men are created equal, but only one of them has to play golf in the rain." 

Wife: "I don't really like Rory's swing."
Me: "Nobody invited you."



— Kyle Porter (@KylePorterCBS) 

Live look-in at Nike headquarters with the chance for a Tiger/Rory Sunday pairing at Augusta. 

Just a pointer for golf fans, remember to call it the "British Open," because "The Open Championship" refers to the U.S. Open.



— Shane Ryan (@ShaneRyanHere) 

2015 Golf Tweets of the Year

Below is Tron Carter’s inaugural #LPCP selection of the month, an new section in the No Laying Up Monthly Newsletter, which you can sign up for 

For the uninitiated, LPCP stands for “Lacks Pop, Can’t Play.” My brother Neil (AKA not so ‘young’ Neil – NLU cofounder/Merchandise kingpin) played college football once upon a time for a dismal Ivy League squad (#GoLions), and during his senior year, he had the privilege of playing under his 3rd Defensive Coordinator in four seasons, a fat, stern man with a harsh goatee and passive aggressive streak. Said, ‘Leader of Men’ would work himself into sarcastic, monotoned tirades during film but really let his contempt for his poorly performing defensive unit shine on paper. In preseason scrimmage and in season post-game write-up’s of the linebacking corp, he would ROAST both starters and scout teamers with straight jargon, the jewel of which was a finishing line used more than once: 

“lacks pop at the point of attack, can’t play.”

‘Rarely in the right place, has shown a tendency to get ejected in A-gap run schemes. Lacks pop at the point of attack; Can’t play for me.’



‘Does a great job with block destruction only to get trucked by a freshmen running back. Stinks.’



‘Due to ongoing injuries, quickly becoming the forgotten man; can’t stay healthy, can’t play for me.’

‘Lacks a fundamental understanding of defensive concepts and is consistently the nail not the hammer in the inside run game.’

Repeat these lines in your head in a gruff, monotone, and you’ll get the idea of what it was like in the film room (it’s also worth noting that the 

 movement was born from this same coach)!

Alright, to tie this into NLU, about 19 months ago the NLU Founding Four was down in Hilton Head for the Heritage with Neil’s tales of football mediocrity fueling the fun at 

 – Hilton Head’s RENOWNED Hibachi joint (sidenote: Tim Clark was holding court at the table behind us, and they had the ace Hibachi Chef – Onion Volcano trains, accurate Shrimp-to-mouth tosses, classy knife work, strong banter w/ his guests – first class service for Timmy), we decided to follow up our meal with the inaugural NLU Podcast. Naturally, the name of a widely-beloved tour player came up, and a jargon (and Sapporo) 

 heated up quick! That player, Matthew Kuchar, has since come to embody #LPCP on PGA Tour. Here’s why:

Kuchar’s entire being is aesthetically indefensible: the Sketchers moon shoes, his impossibly mismatched outfits, his disgusting swing, all of it – Lacks Pop.

A few years ago he played both Hawaii events and then shut it down for the entire west coast swing so he could stay in Hawaii and chill out with his family. This irked me because the West Coast Swing is the best part of the schedule by far, but also because the Tour celebrated it and made a commercial out of it! The mileage that the Tour’s gotten out of leveraging Kuchar’s aw-shucks persona blows my mind.

Peep his record in the Pres/Ryder Cups – more often the nail, not the hammer, constantly getting ejected!

People will argue that he’s one of the most consistent players on Tour, and that’s true. Conversely, I see a guy who is constantly in the mix and almost always fails to get it done (ironically he holed out from the bunker on the 72nd hole to win a couple days later at Harbour Town, but that was after pooping down his leg on Sunday the previous three weeks, so I’m undeterred). I see a guy who consciously set his game up for a high floor/low ceiling – Matt Kuchar essentially decided to lay up when building his entire game. And it shows – for how often he’s in the mix he notches a startlingly low number of wins. Think about it this way: he’s two years older than Sergio (who, like Kuchar, also spend a few years of his career in the wilderness), has less wins (far less if you consider Euro stuff for Serg), and hasn’t sniffed winning a major (Serg’s been in the mix a bunch but hasn’t closed, which is another discussion).Considering all of that, Sergio should be the more renowned player, yet Kuchar is widely regarded by the masses as clutch, as someone who gets it done, and up until last year, as #ELITE. While some of that is certainly due to the fact that white people automatically embrace you if your name contains a phonetic “OO” sound that they can repeat incessantly at tournaments, it makes me sick to see this guy get a free pass year after year for coming up short.

Matt Kuchar is essentially Bill Haas in five years. Nice player/great guy? Absolutely. Anything more than that? Absolutely not. I want dogs playing on my team. Kuchar ain’t a dog (as outlined in the 

last year), and that’s why he’s the inaugural #LPCP Player of the month selection.

Disagree or have an #LPCP candidate? Get at us on twitter – @TronCarterNLU and @ngschu

Lacks Pop; Can't Play - The #LPCP Manifesto

I’m a bit disappointed to not get a single Christmas card in my mailbox, but I’ll use the questions below to make predictions for next year, so strap in.

 Who wins the 4 majors this year?



— David Kateeb (@DKateeb) 

correctly predict all four winners for the 2015 majors

, it’s my duty to take a crack at the 2016 champions.

DJ’s caddie is gonna need to wear this in 2016

 Jordan Spieth – A solo second finish in 2014 and a record setting win in 2015. It can’t be a coincidence. They’re going to have to Spieth proof this place, and the only way they’re going to be able to do that is to put a limit on the allowable weight of a player’s stones. Considering the USGA’s apathy towards dialing back the balls, I think we’re safe here.

Dustin Johnson – The breakthrough will finally come in 2016. In January, he’s going to cause an international upheaval by bombing ISIS all the way from Hawaii (attacking from the East, where they least expect it). Then he lifts his first major championship trophy in June at Oakmont. As 

Rory McIlroy – He should have won it this year, and I haven’t forgiven him for it. He’ll make it up to me in July.

Brooks Koepka – You know I had to, right?

 -Jordan Spieth – I know next to nothing about the course other than it is has been an absolute disaster in the construction phase, but Spieth seems like the kind of guy that would be really motivated for this thing.

 Will Ted Scott finally come to his senses and part ways with bubba in 2016?



— Casey Milewsky (@CaseyMilewsky) 

At this point, the only feasible explanation is that Ted’s got an advanced case of Stockholm Syndrome (we’ll call it “Watson Wickedness”). It’s capture bonding at its best. He’s in deep, and now he’s an enabler to Gerry’s antics. The Himmler to Bubba’s Hitler. He seems to be very content with his life, and I can only hope that it was our prayers that made this difference.

On a more serious note, the financial rewards for putting up with Bubba’s shit would probably make it worthwhile. I’m a man of principal, but I’d sell out in a heartbeat if it meant making $100k to carry Bubba’s golf bag and other excess baggage around the Bahamas for a week. Who knows, maybe his shtick is a lot more tolerable if taken in the proper context, and if you actually know him? Don’t roll your eyes at me, I’m trying to be reasonable here. Or…. wait a second…. I’m starting to feel it…… wait…… do I??? No…… do i…. do I have Watson Wickedness!?!? Let’s move on.

 with Dechambeau's recent australian success, do you see him being the next young star?



— Zack (@zkupper_bsg) 

I would like to think so, but I haven’t made up my mind on the guy yet. There’s no doubt that he’s a talented stick, but I kind of agree with Big Randy here as well:

 it's early but I shelve Bryson's variety of FIGJAMness with 'Off-Putting' works instead of 'Endearing/Entertaining.'



— Big Randy (@BigRandyNLU) 

 hard to make himself stand out with the dumb hat, and the emphasis he puts on the weird things he does (which includes 

). I tend to like guys that are cut from a different cloth, but then again, you can also say that guys like Poulter and Bubba fall into this “different” category. As @PFTcommenter would say, it goes both ways.

From a golf perspective, the guy has dominated at every level he’s been at. There are many that have doubted his unorthodox swing pretty much every step along the way, and that won’t stop until he’s proven himself on the PGA Tour. It’s been well documented that he plays with a set of irons that are all the exact same length, and I think questions about how that will effect him on the PGA Tour circuit are fair. I’m for sure not saying he can’t excel with his unorthodox approach, but I’m in the camp that I’m going to need to see it before I really start to believe it.

In the same breath, people shouldn’t rush to judge him (for better or for worse) until he’s been given the proper amount of time to develop, but I get the feeling that people are going to overreact in either direction like they always do. So in summary, I do think he will be very successful, but I’m not going full fanboy crush just yet.

 How would an all 27-&-under US side fare at the Ryder Cup and who would make the team?



— Dillon Friday (@noclassfriday) 

Articles

The Definitive Guide to Choosing Your Favorite PGA Tour Pro

January Mailbag, Part I

2015 Golf Tweets of the Year

Lacks Pop; Can't Play - The #LPCP Manifesto

December Mailbag

Rory Wins Race to Dubai, Sets Stage for 2016

November Mailbag

Justin Thomas Arrives, Wins the CIMB Classic

October Mailbag

Scotland Golf Trip, Part V: Crail Balcomie Links

Scotland Golf Trip, Part IV: St. Andrews New Course & Jubilee

The Escape from Pyeontaek

Scotland Golf Trip, Part III: Carnoustie

Scotland Golf Trip, Part II: Kingsbarns

Scotland Golf Trip, Part 1: The Old Course

The Koepka Kalamity

A Narrative Has Infected the Solheim Cup

Patrick Rodgers won't be in the FedExCup Playoffs...Why?

Articles

The Definitive Guide to Choosing Your Favorite PGA Tour Pro

January Mailbag, Part I

2015 Golf Tweets of the Year

Lacks Pop; Can't Play - The #LPCP Manifesto

December Mailbag

Rory Wins Race to Dubai, Sets Stage for 2016

November Mailbag

Justin Thomas Arrives, Wins the CIMB Classic

October Mailbag

Scotland Golf Trip, Part V: Crail Balcomie Links

Scotland Golf Trip, Part IV: St. Andrews New Course &#038; Jubilee

The Escape from Pyeontaek

Scotland Golf Trip, Part III: Carnoustie

Scotland Golf Trip, Part II: Kingsbarns

Scotland Golf Trip, Part 1: The Old Course

The Koepka Kalamity

A Narrative Has Infected the Solheim Cup

Patrick Rodgers won't be in the FedExCup Playoffs...Why?

Scotland Golf Trip, Part IV: St. Andrews New Course & Jubilee